FeIrY_IcE

2006-07-27T02:47:00.000+08:00

dammit. i really want to say everything out. damm!

but i scared you'll juz ignore me just lyk the other time. tell me wad to do.

i know to you we're impossible. but why. why am i clinging on to the hope of being with you. everytime i asked you out. i really hope to hear a yes. but somehow each time. its seems lyk a rejection. i dunno when. not even a chance girl? when you said you had a bf le. how devasted the feeling that was. just lyk my past. but i believed one day still, i hold the same chance. ruby meii once said move with sincerity. and i'm really trying my best to do it.

to you i dunno how much it is. but i will want to wait. wait for the day u finally wanna meet and want more. =) i promise the first date will be extraordinary. surely. but all i plan never seems to be coming true. nth but illusions. tell me joy, how much chance do you tink i have? is it still the same answer you gave me that time? i'm wasting my time? i really hope not. i'm trying my best to get closer to you. know you more. so at least if one day u agree to meet me, i wont be that shy.

damm. i'm thinking of you now again. kinda jealous ya going out with guys and maybe tonning with them? but i'm juz a fren in ur eyes. dunno wad to do, cant say anything to stop it.

lex wa baka! useless. hais. =( joy! over this 2 months or so. i really realised, i like you too much for me to let go. its lyk i known you for years. i really hope to work this out and i really hope you'll give me a chance by opening your world to me. please?

I'M REALLY SERIOUS OF WANTING TO BE WITH YOU!

trust me on this can? hais.. if your 9 months ex u told me abt can do it, i believe one day i'll be able to move your stone heart towards me. =) i believe. and once again, thanks joy for giving me the happiest day of my past 2 years as single. =) really really was so happy.

joy. i really just wanna be with you. just you. will ya?

hope so. T.T

2006-07-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

The How Bangla Are You Quiz - by lex

ok cool. so here goes. xD excited? =x

[ ] I love shopping for grocery

[ ] I love sitting on big fields and chat instead of the nice kopitiam

[ ] I must sit on a seat if there is one available in a public transport

[ ] I love perfumes(anything that makes me smell nice) that the majority of people dislike

[ ] I would rather walk 1km to buy a 50cents ice-cream than a $1 ice-cream which i can buy just below my block just to save that 50cents

[ ] I can go un-bathe for days and wont say its abnormal

[ ] [ Girls ] I dream to become a housewife. Cook curry rocks!

[ ] [ Guys ] I dream to become a construction worker or open a MAMA shop. Swee la!

[ ] I can twist my tongue very fast and speak fast

[ ] I have curly hair by nature

[ ] I would prefer a bicycle than a car for my birthday

there you go. how many u ticked? x10 and its ur % of how indian are u! tada! quiz are fun. xD

back to work. =D

2006-07-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

ok. this blog is revived as a secret blog or smth. it will be used to vent my anger if i want or say stupid love stuff. >< i'll change the skin once i feel lyk it. need some inspiration for the design part. i hate using div tags. >< they alignment will be all wrong. ><

anyway. its open le. and i knew it from her blog. oh well she's attached. had really a big impact and me and stuff. its stupid i noe. i feel stupid myself. how deeply can i love someone i dinda noe that well? but its really how i feel and i wonder y. i suddenly had not much mood either. before i knew it i was already feeling uneasy and stuff. if only i knew her earlier in person or smth. hais. forget it. though we arent meant to be but i really wish u the best frm my heart. its going to be tough on me once again but i will stand strong bahs. i hope so..

please dun come out and meet me now. please. go back where you belong. i've not seen you for 2 years because of ~~this~~ reason. please go back it. dun come out. i'm controlling you. its ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..

i want someone to talk to. hais.. fuck, i hate everything. im feeling so fan over something i shoulda be feeling so. fuck. i shoulda be saying all these. tmd. >< get over it lex! take care joy. =) i'll remember all the memories u gave me. the phone call which we were on. saying and doing stupid stuff. those msn chats. those nice msges. thanks girl. you made my past 1 month a happy guy to look forward to. but i guess its shattered now. but i dun blame u either. be happy k? i still have some hesitation not to give up. if ever one day there's a chance, i want you to know, i'll still be here wanting to hear all u want to say and stuff. thanks my fren. love ya.

lex is back to work.

2006-07-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

the *@(#)@*@(#$@ post

ok enough is enough. i'll not say the names in this post cos it'll be useless. well if you guys want me to state, i will. but for now its a no-no.

first off. this girl A and this guy S, another guy D and a not much in this case guy R. here i fire off!

to girl A. come on. who are you kidding? you'll never be able to fool a scorpio's eye. yeah you may be one. but hell. ya open? thats the excuse you gave me. fine. hugs. and hold hands and friendly to every guy in ur dictionary is open. cool. ya more ang moh if thats the case. but please. this is Singapore. if you hold every guys hand, hug guys (as in really hug) and declare ya not interested in relationship, let me tell you girl. that is flirt to 99.9% to most ppl. hu are you trying to kid? i heard everything. guy S initiated the hugs and kiss and u dun dare reject? interesting. i once heard u push guy R away cos he tried to lean on you and stuff. oh so leaning is worse den a guy hugging and kissing you when and where you like huh? ok lets say u scared he beat u up, u dun dare reject. fucking shit. must you put ur hands around him too and play along? simply that makes no sense with wad ya talking. unless you say ya bgf i nth to say. but pls. frenz do that? find me another one. *@()($#@@(*$&(@#)@

yeah. you have the looks (to most horny guys), you have the figure(to most horny guys), but hello. wake up. that doesnt give you the right to be 'open'. even ang mohs dun open until kiss and hug or hold every guys hand. ok hand is ok. but kiss? zzz. come on. i saw your sms to guy D. and compared with the actions which i saw. its so fucking different please. dun bother lying. oh ya. who are you to judge me. thats wad u say right? yeah. i'm neither your close fren or smth. but at least i'm human. i judge you as a status as a stranger? fuck me me u say it doesnt concern me. yeah. indeed it doesnt. i'm juz posting so you are another stranger who read this. and please stop playing with ppl's heart. you tink its fun? open as excuse again? mai lai.

you once said. i am more close to guys ma. thats why ya more open to guys. you want to know i feel? you are close to guys because you let them. wonder why you said you have little girl frenz? cos i'f i'm a girl, i'll be disgrace seeing my fren 'open' with every single guy. guys go to you. you gladly accept. so dun fucking say its open. yeah. hate me more. i dun give a damm to anyone hu tries to hurt my frenz arnd me either.

to guy S. 1 word. BASTARD. you left your ex because you said you fell for another girl. cool. thats normal nowadays. but hello. that is still a bastard act. how long you noe girl A? you gladly hold her hands, hug, kiss her and sweet talk her. yeah yeah. you have the looks (to some. zzz), you have the moves in ddr. so? to me ya juz another S.O.B. how despo can you get. yeah. i myself lyk girls. any normal guys will lyk too. but it isnt all abt pushing your love aside becos u found another one more 'open' and more hot and stuff. horse racing ah? fucker. and you tink for guy D to give up a 3 yr frenship is that easy? he's fucking disappointed you know. and wad abt you? willing to give up because of your lust? where is ur integrity? u knew your best fren den lyks girl A. and you motherfuckingly said you'll support him. now u bastard him and did those in front of guy D? basket. and when he confronted you, you ran away lyk your balls kweu zui (shrink) ah? dare to do dun dare to be face-to-face?

come on. i tot ya full of confidence? the first time we met you showed me how well u can do on ddr. and danced without bar on extreme. pass max unlimited. hl say you not tired can do some more? _|_ big deal? good lor you can pass while guy D is tired. but hey, your character? fucking BIG NO i tell you. i fucking hate ppl lyk you huh abadon your gf in a few days saying suddenly you lyk another girl. and immediately hugged and kiss other girls in public somemore. _|_ shit. ya a disgrace to guys. seriously. first you bastard your ex. den your good fren. hu knows. one day a more hot girl came along and there you go abadoning girls all arnd. one of a kind. to me, thats flirt. and you have 1/3 style. but another 1/3 for show. wan find me? i'll be happy to find you. dun fuck arnd here after you did those bastard things. guess wad is the other 1/3 for you? small fucking pin-head balls.

to guy D. come on. wake up le! ya my fren. a good fren. i dowan see you fucking unhappy because of this anymore. they aren't worth it. girl A, guy S. they are juz some fakers hu say they hate fakers. they aint worth your time trying to resolve this thing. and give up on girl A. pls. even if you two made it, you tink you'll be happy with the 'openess' she claimed? she'll juz bastard you IMO. yeah. be angry. but pls. dun use suicide or hitting urself as a solution. nth will change. the most they grieve. let them be. since they lyk bastard-ing each other. let them be. i want to see the old ray back. not someone hu is troubled by love which is pointless and worthless. k? get ur feet up, if you need, bastard them back with words. i wan the old ray i once knew back. smile k! and forsake the friendship of guy S. he aint worth it either. he's juz some small balls backstabber. to hell he will go.

phew. got everything out. settle with me if ya unhappy. i need to stress out with such things. _|_ aint in the right mood now.

2006-06-30T13:10:00.000+08:00

ok. since this blog is not in used. the tag-board will be closed. =D enjoy. those who have my msn should noe my new blog for now! cheers~!

those who really want peep me on my mail or smth. ^^

2006-06-28T02:32:00.000+08:00

MOVED!

ask me for my new blog address please. this site will still remain though. cheers!

2006-06-27T03:14:00.000+08:00

projects + heart crisis

juz saved my own skin by cocking up some projects stuff for tml. i aint wanna slack anymore. >< anyway, life has been pretty much good for me. and i hope to stay in this way. i really hate fightings and stuff. i juz wan me, nich, josh and all my other good friends to be together and laugh together. of cos i really hope that i have a girl by my side too. =D

who wouldnt want a nice partner eh?

but currently i have yet other fan nao other than projects. gosh. i feel so funnie when i'm talking with ya and stuff. its lyk a warmth that made me wanna chat more. i juz dunno why. yeah. i know you wanna be alone as in single but of well. i scared as days goes by i will fall deeper and deeper. >< you started to light up yet another chapter in me. i juz dunno y i had that feeling. >< gosh.

save me. i really hope we can meet up real soon. the first impression u gave me was way wad i wanted. it was so nice and warm. it might be infactuation but as days went by since we talked, i tink i can slowly find the answer. should i tell you or should i not? i dowan disappointment but i really hope that you do feel a little different abt me than other guys.

hais.. why am i thinking of all these! i need to concentrate! ahh! y are u appearing in every of my thoughts? you just appeared in my head each time. when meii sad u were sad the first thing i tot was why. i dunno if i shld msg u not. cos i feel i'm lyk a bug or smth. oh well. i guess all these answer my own question. i feel i'm growing to lyk u even more each day.

hais.. will u feel the same? i hope this time i wont get disappointment if i show my sincerity. girls nowadays dun really lyk sincerity anymore. >< dunno y.

shld i let u know? or shld i not? i real confused again. *** san, tottemo suki desu.

2006-06-26T18:32:00.000+08:00

karaoke! =x

i hope this works. i love this song for now! so cute! hahas! i got the lyrics off some site. gotta credit to him. so if there's any erh.. wrong words not me hors. i juz copy and paste. =P enjoy guys. will blog a proper one later. for now project research! ><

Ji Pa Ban - Hokkien

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Gua uh ji pa ban, jit si lang tio khin san,
Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,

Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ha wa ee sai dai yang,
Lit pun chiak su shi (Wa chia li chiak su shi)

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
sang ting ka hai bi, siang lang ka ho kih,
lai hor wa cho bo

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,

Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,

Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ee tah li lim ko pi,
Loh pi chiak speh ge ti (Loh pi chiak speh ge ti)

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
Buey tiam lai siu chor, eng eng bien cho kang,
Chua kow ki san por,

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Chap cheng puay cheng teh ki eng,
bien huan ma boh bun tuey (huan chien pu se wen ti)

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban…

Wei, peng yu eh, li siong ji pa ban, chin chuay ah?

One Million dollars
If I have got one million, one million,
I got one million, my whole life no worries,
Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,

Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,

If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Hawaii to sun bath,
Japan eat sushi ( treat you eat sushi )

If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
eat all the delicacies of the world, who got the good luck,
be my girl

If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,

Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,

Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,

If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Italy drink coffee,
Road side eat spaghetti ( road side eat spaghetti )

If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
Buy shop to collect rent, easy easy no need to work,
Bring dog go for a walk,

If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,

If I have got one million, one million,
Ten thousand eight thousand take go and use,
No need to pay back also no problem ( pay back money not a problem )

If I have got one million, one million,
Eh friend, you think one million a lot ah?

2006-06-24T02:25:00.000+08:00

last post for retarded

seriously. this will be my last reply for retarded. its too crap and jiao wei that i really cant stand le. lols. he/she makes no sense at all come on..

retarded: Anyway so now you've started *****ing about other people in your blog. Well done. If you dont like someone, tell them in their face. Dont ***** here

first: its my blog. i wan to say wad thing here its my prob. this aint ur blog. thanks.

second: u ask me tell them to their face? sure. talk to me face to face then if u dun lyk me. come la. if u dun dare ya juz fucking contridicting urself. hum ji? scared? u tink ya 100% correct? kiss my ass. ask u come talk face to face u give reason lyk i'm immature and stuff. now u ask me say face to face. sure. when and where u want? i say it face with face with u.

third. i do not need to be 18 to act 18. ya the immature one hu hides identity and saying ppl frm the back. if ya 18, act lyk 1. if ya not, please try to be mature more. respect ppl's space at least on their OWN blogs.

fourth: my pms more than girls. yeah i agree. so? wad has it got to do with u? is it that i am so that you can shit when u need too? i got 'pms' that time u cant eat? u cant bloody sleep? u cant walk? if its nth that got to do with u. please be 18 lyk wad u say.

fifth: i dunno ur mother gave u the wrong way out, or ya juz plain bo liao. i can forgive if u ran out of IMH. but please, wad i say, wad i do has totally NTH to do with u. i give u face already. but wads wrong with u? tell me. before u came here. did i say anything abt u? yeah. _|_ it if u dun lyk wad i said. but ya not my close fren, ya not my family or wad so ever. its has nth to do with u. so please be mature at wadeva age u are and keep ur bloody mouth shut pls. ppl hu doesnt even dare reveal his identity when talking are juz plain empty vessels.

at least u give ur true identity and stuff den ya allowed to make comments.

forget it. these will nv get thru to the immature thick skull of urs. u'll juz bloody cock up some reason or excuses to defend. its nv ending. SAY WAD U LIKE. DISCRIMINATE ME. DEFAME ME. THIS JUZ SHOWS HOW BLOODY IMMAUTRE YOU ARE. YEAH NO ONE NOES HU U ARE. SO ITS OK RIGHT? LET ME TELL U. U KNOW URSELF THE BEST. U NOE HU IS BEING IMMATURE HERE. EVERYONE HU READS MY BLOGS KNOWS. FIRE AWAY UR CRITICS ON ME. I SHALL BE LYK WAD U SAY MATURE AND SAY THANKS, UNLIKE THE IMMATURE YOU.

end. fine. i said my piece. seriously ppl have so much time to spare. zzzz. i'll wait for my gatekeepers to finish d/l and i can watch le! xD lex wants to stay happy and carefree from now on. *angel* i shall be good and ignore everything. but i'll take recent stuff into consideration unless things clears up. yep thats all. ja ne. mata ashita.

2006-06-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

zzzz

seriously ask urself. y dinda i say it in front of ur face? ask ask. u want me not to hide? sure i can. y did i put ????? cos i only want ppl hu knows to knows. i'm saving ur face dude. if u cant even see that, fine, rice, fan, maurice, ct-madcow, wadeva u call urself. yes. i'm OBVIOUSLY talking abt u. u've reached my limit dude and thats it.

fuck! so u say i'm hiding in blog? come on tell me. which line of my previous post which talks abt u doesnt seems lyk u? come on. even suet hu is not there yest knew. u want to know y? its meant for u to noe! i fucking dowan to say names. to save ur ass. but u prefer me saying it eh? cool. the next time i'm gonna spit everything in ur face. thats wad u wan eh? but imagine. yest when you mention FC close le. we said yeah. wad u do? shout a "ARGH" in public. u dun lose face u noe. everyone was staring at our grp instead. if i were to walk up to u and spit that ur being clildish? wad will u do? tell me with ur heart. tag me, say it in dbg. anything. i will expect a shouting or stuff. will u be lyk now in ur blog. thanks for telling? ok sorry? on my ass.

i need not hide. u want me say names. u dowan ur face. fine i can make it more obvious den now. dun come fuck me up when u regret. and i still want the answer to the question. i noe u and someone are reading.

u told angelic, u and virus cant stand me cos i blog things behind ur back rite? let me assure u. no. i noe u guys are reading. lyk obviously. doesnt tag doesnt mean not reading right? so here it goes. cant stand me? come fuck me lahs. i'm standing here right now. i cant stand the behaviour and words of u no more rice. other than that ya ok. wonder y desmond shout back at u the other time? go tink. y? cos ya making useless comments. yes i tink he's right by saying u tink this song is crap juz cos u cant play it.

and if ur words are true, den mr.virus cant stand me as well den? come on. say this is true. i've got things to say abt u too. i aint lyk u. i blog everything in readable by normal means form. shant say much cos its not confirm abt this. for now. unless u are wondering too. yes. my previous post do talk abt u.

fuck. i'm pissed. damm. i need to control. *(*@()@&$(()#@$@(#$)@

2006-06-23T05:40:00.000+08:00

titless

seriously i hate problems. useless things to happen. gosh. ppl say i'm childish and stuff but hey look at me? do i get down till that state? i'll answer no. yes i do have up down moods sometimes. but i'll get over it fast enuff. lyk a day or 2? damm. how can a person really be sad for so long for problems not that big?

how long can u be sad and stuff over someone u've known for a month or less. gosh. as in for years ok la. nope. i'm not flaming or stuff. juz wondering. cos i've nv had that feeling b4. oh well..

ok. as i said i really hate politics and stuff. lulUlu.. but oh well. i juz gotta say this. hmm. ok. heard stuff here and there. i seriously already gave up my trust in ????? (dun bother to count. it aint the number of letters in the name) anymore. as in as a whole lahs. backstabbing here and there. hais. y does it always happen to me? hmm.. cant u guys juz be good and erh... mind ur own things. -_-"

come on la. grow up. so wad u tink ya 100% better than me in ????? (again dun bother to count - -")? let u win lor. brag more bahs. yay! i agree la.. u better. happy? win? gosh. lyk that oso wan to say. dots. but hey look at reality. so wad u have some parts better? i dare to say some things i can do u cannot do lor. waaa. brag more abt ur ????? and ?????. u can do ????? easily lyk abc. yeah i lose. happy? waaa. ppl impressed by u le lehs. cos ya better than lex. but eat my foot pls. i can do ????? can u? u'll juz jolly well give excuses lyk only that ????? cannot do. lalala~ ya ya. i look at our ????? and compare. come on. u only have 5 - 6 ????? that are better. wad abt the other ?????s huh? oh not counted eh? i can say i have at least a 100 ????? more better than u. nbm. i shall be good. u are better lor. wooo~ wad i achieved are craps la huh. u have the most perfect ????? and ????? and ????? la hor. go on go on.

seriously y do u often complain abt things not working out and stuff? saying y ppl give u hot and cold and shit. look at urself first. so wad u say ya 100% way better than me? in the end? make sure wad u say meets with wad u do. saying no need compare one la. in the end u do. u tried so hard to be closer with *ahem*. but hello? cant u see i'm much closer without trying? u want to noe y? cos i'm natural and myself in front of them. be a saint, be god, be the no 1 in front of any person. but at the back ya a wadever i could think of. it juz wont work out dude.

you can claim to have change. claim to have repent. but let me tell u. if i give u another ?????, u'll juz go back to the same way. let me tell u something. i have 2 faces too. 1 is my true face, another is to u. i may seem nice to u. but on the inside, i'm fuckily disappointed and disgusted by everything u say/do.

to ?????: enough la. how long muz u drown urself? it was a public nuisance la dude. sad? angry? its nth big seriously. thats to me. i rather u sad/angry keep quiet and dao ppl rather than shouting and trying to gain attention by doing wad i tink is childish and inmature acts. come on. thats much better ways to express ur feelings. seriously, 10/10 ppl told me ya juz making a fool out of urself. hate me, curse me for saying these things. i'm juz stating a fact. whether to face up to reality urself, its still urself. juz please, manage in a way such that u can prove ya 1 yr older than me and uniform grp did not make u such a guy. thanks.

to ray: come on dude. cheer up. if it aint urs, it will not be urs. learn to look forward at times. i noe its hard. i too have same problems. but give it a try, u may be surprised by how much u have done when u look forward. i noe i may not be the best of friends or smth to help u when ya down or stuff. but.. i can be there when u need venting. thats for sure. ^^

yep. nth more to blog. its 5.30 in the morning and i'm blogging? y? cos i watch japan vs brazil. i wanted japan to win. but oh well. they lost 1-4. zzzzz. brazil juz whipped their ass sia. >< ok oyasumi mina-san.

oh ya. wan angry, wan bu shuang, juz talk to me and state which point is false. thanks. i hate politics. zzz

2006-06-22T02:36:00.000+08:00

chalet + club momo!

hahas. lex shall be an angel and erh.. ignore unnessasary comments. ^^

centis chalet from mon to wed. kinda had a great time there. mostly spend my time playing daidee. LOLS. was fun la. joey introduced to asshole daidee way. lols! hmm. den went out walk walk. slept a little and stuff. bbqed. lols! how i love chalet. but i miss my bed and stuff too! hahas!

left on the 2nd night to meet ivan, juli to go club momo. its kinda small la the club. as in dancing space not much and stuff. recreation is kinda ok. I DUN LOOK LYK MY FACE IN THE IC! the security asked me to recite my address, date of birth and IC to him cos i dun resemble my IC face. lols! cos i changed my face too much since sec school! hahas! clubbing the 2nd time is kinda fun la. hahas. when u xi guan le and stuff. shant elaborate more. i'm kinda more crazier than the first time though. ivan, secrets shall not be revealed eh? =P ya sucha lucky guy! damm i'm jealous! hahas!

but i got my share too. ^^ though wasnt much but it was good enuff to keep me in shape and stuff. hahas. seriously, i dinda noe i could do those stuff till i really try! and it paid off! though ivan was more of the successful side, i'm still quite surprised with myself. =D damm. i hope the next session comes soon. mayb promised to jio me go! hahas! and toot seems kinda interested to try once too! hahas! gosh. i really think my life as a teenager is finally going to start! i'm gonna make use of all my chance i have in my youth so that i wont regret the next time! ^^

2 is the number that u guys have to guess that made me erh. lift up my mood. and 1 is the number that make me feel regretful. hahas! ivan shhhhhhh! ya'll! rock the house! break the beat, dance to the song! dancing thru the nite! thats lex world for now! dmgf, i kinda played lesser cos of recent incidents that are totally useless. oh well. shant say much abt those. for now i found my new interest! ^^

shall find some clubbing friends for now! hahas.

nth to blame. its juz me. though i really want to find someone i really love, but oh well. it'll nv come. i'll go crazy somemore till one comes along.

2006-06-19T14:28:00.000+08:00

MOS - i regret ah!

woho! i tink i'm still high frm last night. gosh. now i noe y its good to be single at times. oh well. last night went to erh.. MOS. wee~ underage party. wonder y my sis underage party not fun. i tink cos alot 16 - 17 girls? girls nowadays are more and more hot already. as in their thinkings are way different from those 20 odds. hmm.

anyway. yep. went to MOS yesterday. weiming and yong zhi cannot go in cos of some identification trouble. oh well. i almost had 1. cos my face on my IC looks too different le. >< hahas. nbm that. went in with juliana. actually say dowan dance. juz sit down and see ppl walk and dance. but the music really took me away lahs. =x went up with beng, tat, adrain, alan and ah tan and decided to go to the dance floor. chiong ah chiong. =x lols. chiong dao position juz nice to see soccer from the 2nd floor which only available for ppl above 18 de.. den see see dance dance. the music really made me high as time goes.

den got a grp of girls + 2 guys came beside us and dance. lala~ alan i tink high to fast find another grp of girls to dance. 'hook'ed on 1. den slowly, juliana oso kanna catch away. lols. den me and friends jiu dance. leg suan ah. ok fun part. i tink it wasnt me tt time la. but the music was good sia. den the girls group started dancing quite close to our grp. so lalala lor~ =x

one girl, one see is either juz past 16 or 17 de dance dance with her grp ma. den movement quite hot. practically can say she's my type de. oh well. first time so nv do much. den she dance, bu zhi bu jue to my in front le. so i juz dance den we very close nors. usually guys will try to initiate a hug or smth there. lyk how alan and the guy hu catch juliana did but i noob ma. so juz dance together nors. hahas. made eye contact and stuff and blah blah. but ok la. damm. she's kinda hot and chio u noe! and now i wonder y i dinda become more crazy. =x

hmm. the next time i visit clubs again and if i'm still single, maybe i shld try. hahas. =P i let go yet another catch. oh well. maybe i not confident of myself bahs. hahas. club momo on tues anyone? =x damm. lex dun get addicted. >< underage party is fun la! but the bass is really power. power till the stomach and heart can feel peace when the music stop. hahas. =x man. now i wished i've asked no or at least a name to kick start things. oh well. ><

till den. chalet today to wed. hope i have a great time. =P

2006-06-15T03:04:00.000+08:00

misunderstanding?

ok so its my fault again. yeah yeah. and everything goes on. cool.
some happenings arnd me and stuff. said abt abilities are when u did it and ppl see it.

sure some can catch stuff some other ppl cannot. lyk eg. sorry for the use of names. psyence can catch the meikyou drums ending easy while knnth needs some concentration and stuff. knnth sp is higher. but y can psyence do it easier? cos of ability. however that doesnt mean psyence is better. knnth may have other abilities better than psyence.

yes. i can claim i can catch everything of timepiece II. even the irritating combo breaker. i can say i caught l100s tom solo. i can say anything i want. but when u play in front of ppl. it seems otherwise. abilities are things ppl see and think u can do it. sorry xifer. i'm gonna mention u now. xifer once said he can catch dragon blade ext on guitar. he can pass. but when ask to do. he cant. y? tink.

yep. to me abilities of a certain person is when i see it in my eyes that yes! u can do it! lyk kelvin once said. i cant do little prayer ext. i believe he said. but he played and played till i saw him catch 600+ to 700+ combo easily. that is when i believe yes! he have the ability to play that song already!

i guess its obvious by now. yes drew. i'm talking abt wad u said to me on the forums. u've misunderstood me entirely.

i said: i can catch things ppl cannot catch. but my sp is lower. is when one see u catch den wad u say will be valid.

it so happens that my post is right below urs. it so happen as though i'm arguing with ya or something. well u misunderstood it. on the contrary, i am agreeing with u that u cant judge someone by SP. i am not referring to u when i said i can catch things ppl cannot catch. but my sp is lower. is when one see u catch den wad u say will be valid.

yes i agree that u are indeed way better than me. because i saw u caught things i couldnt catch. tp2, meikyou, cockpit, and so many others. i'm juz stating the fact that one must see the person did that thing to really judge his ability. lyk david. he can show up his 1k card anytime. but can he live up to that SP when asked to show? i believe the answer is no. thats the main thing i'm trying to put across see? PEOPLE MUST SEE THAT YOU CAN CATCH BEFORE THEY CAN JUDGE YOUR ABILITY.

and you said: Catch your image in the mirror and know where you stand before attempting to comment on other people's failures to catch certain parts just because of SP.

yep. i do look at myself y i cant catch this and that. but i only give comments when i do can catch that certain part. in case you dunno. i do know where i stand. i do know where my ablities are and where are my weakness. yes. i can describe you as all rounded. a person who can roll well, handle fast speed, coordinate well and stuff. thats why i've nv critised the way u play or laugh at you when u miss or smth.

just because of SP
SP. is something to me part of game. without it i tink i'll still be at mushroom boy A. SP made me improve tons. but i wont judge it by that. look at benz and A13. benz is lower in SP. but his strokes and stuff are way over a13.

i can say i noe u abt a year already. i dun expect much. my post? double edge sword. block me. hate me more or believe wad i said. i can do nth. if a little thing such as this can hurt the friendship so bad, i got nth to say.

i'm juz disappointed how little things can cause such a serious thing to happen. oh well. after this post u may still tink i'm wrong or wad. maybe u wont even see this post at all. but juz to tell u. i agree on wad u said. for this time, u really made a mistake, a misunderstanding.

i'm really kinda down on mood la. yeah yeah. go on mr/miss retarded. say all u wan now. its a sad post. say i'm an emo freak fag or wadsoever. i cant be bothered anymore. forget it. i tink i have a using-SP-to-gauge-ability face to ppl bahs. oh well. having a rough patch now. hope the dark clouds blow off soon. nites peeps. thanks for even reading such a boring post.

anyway, this was the whole conversation lyk.
stuntman:
If you guys want to look at people's abilities from an SP viewpoint, then go ahead, it's a game afterall. Nothing to be gained. It just shows what type of thinking you are having.

So, enough of this issue, and let's move on.

jt23:
hahas. its not about ability. its abt wad ppl see as ur abilities are. i can catch things ppl cannot catch. but my sp is lower. is when one see u catch den wad u say will be valid.

and ya. move on. ><

stuntman:
You can catch what others higher than you cannot catch? That's a very interesting thought. Can you catch whatever I have caught? If you can't catch, and I can catch every other thing that you can catch, I don't think you can ever catch the meaning of the "not-using-SP-to-gauge ability" catchphrase. Catch your image in the mirror and know where you stand before attempting to comment on other people's failures to catch certain parts just because of SP. I hope you caught the point.

yeah. and off i go. wan an le.

2006-06-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

mr retarded 2

ok since there's something wrong with my tagboard. i will reply mr retarded reply here. xD

oh now u notice this is lame huh? hu started first? i retaliating huh? tell me tell me. hu is the lame one who came here and started talking crap? hu is the one hu wants to pick a fight?

and pls. open up ur eyes and look at the dates of the post. its the past dude. check ur calendar. and this is my blog jackass. i type wad i want. its none of ur business dude. unless ya someone i personally noe. u have the right to comment. but hey. open ur eyes big when u say i'm torturing my frenz hu are reading. it somehow seems to me lyk they are standing by me rather than complaining lyk u. so unless u identify hu u are, if not u are juz another useless crap juz lyk tt mr arthur. and stop the boo hoo stuff. find those words before u start saying i'm whining and stuff.

so wad if i wan a girl to complete my life? is that such a big ass problem to u? y? no girls want u or smth and u wan to whine? dun come to my blog and talk crap dude. and it aint doing u any good.

once again a little advice to u my fren:
unlike u, i dun go arnd saying ppl with hidden identities. guy or girl u may be (maybe a bit of both), i dun care. it juz tells me u've a weak personality. and oh. i love ma frenz arnd me. they stood by me when i was down and i stood by them too. so dun fucking tell me i'm torturing them dammit. if i see u in real life, i'll fucking beat the crap out of u for insulting me and them. u can say i'm whiny, i'm lousy and crap, u'll juz get the rain of words frm me. but if u ever critise my frenz or family, i swear i'll track u down by IP add and fuck u upside down.

and yeap. back to regular post. hit my 1.1k. actually its 0.09 sp more. >< but its yellow already! i'm standing at 1103.30 now. xD and kris, dun mind ppl saying abt ite students. jc students arent that high class to me either. yeah. they may be better in us in brains and stuff. they may be the elite of sg. but hell to them if they are arrogant and despise u guys. i have frenz in ite but i dun despise them too. cos their ma frenz! so dun bother abt those comments. =D

and charlene u better tell me hu izzit ok! hahahahas! =x

drew's band performance at jrock street fest really kick ass! god! his style is so damm nice! way to go drew! hope ya band can make it to big stage! xD everyone, support cafe! xD oh ya. i nv forget nicholas's band. xD meriotte! is that how u spell? =x LOLS. anyway! support those 2! xD

2006-06-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

mr arthur!

and today's post is dedicated to.... Mr. Arthur! hahahahahas. *claps*

yeah toot. u were right. i shld waste my time tagging on my tag board with sucha long post. i shld write on my blog! so here goes. this is getting fun.. xD lex feels evil.

firstly to quote:
U goit (got) a band? betcha dont even own a drum set at home and go to arcades to show off den huh

so i'll state 3 examples now. xD
i am a pilot. but i dun have a plane at home. my crew is not with me. therefore i am not a pilot and i go to arcades to play aeroplane games to show off.

i am a soccer player. but i dun have a soccer field at home. my team is not with me. therefore i am not a soccer player and i go to arcade to play soccer games and show off.

i am a banker. but i dun have $1million at home. my fellow shareholders are not with me. therefor i am not a banker and i go to casino to spam my credits to show off.

second to quote:
if you dont' bloody play the guitar, den why put it on ur profile? please try not to be a poser then. and dont say that you put it there cos u like.

so i'll state another 3 examples + a life fact now. xD

fact by arthur:
i am a drummer. i dun play the guitar. therefore i cannot lyk guitars

reality fact:
being a drummer, it is also important to appreciate the music ya playing with. if u dun even lyk the guitar, den play drums for fuck shit? lols. wake up pls mr arthur.

examples now den.
i am a pilot. i like aeroplane and airports. but i dun control the airport. therefore i cannot say i like airports.

i am a soccer player. i like soccer and basketball. but i do not play basketball. therefore i cannot say i like basketball.

i am a banker. i like money and living in big houses. but i dun have a big house. therefore i cannot say i like big houses.

there u go. thats the mentality of mr arthur! pro ehs. xD

on serious note.. dun talk as if u are owning me or smth jackass. i go to the arcade and show off ah? lols. true i do lyk to show some skills off when i lyk to. wait. can u show off in the first place? pls if u can exchange pointers with me at plaza singapura's zone x or star factory DM set. if u cant bloody play a decent song with manual bass, dun fucking say i'm showing off. ya juz degrading urself to being a sore loser who doesnt even have a pea big enuff for ur brains. please if by ANY chance you are a 'musician', pls stop embarassing urself with words lyk those. ppl will juz tink ya a POSER.

oh ya. another thing. i have not known any arthur in my life. so either
1) u are another S.O.B hu uses a fake identity to spam, a despised as i would say or

2) u are a real arthur which i dunno. so please let me see who am i talking to. i bet ur mama got teach u some manners when u were young. if she did not, f*ck ur mom off for me or

3) u are juz lyk mr retarded, nth to do and hope to find troubles with me which i'll gladly to take. (a scorpio sting hurts i tell u)

there u go. i hope mr arthur do reply me. xD gosh. i feel so good. seriously, want to suan me or wad, please try to be more foolproof la my fren. words at this type of difficulty wont bring me down.

2006-06-09T02:18:00.000+08:00

bday season to gemini

lols. i'm typing and watching cardcaptor at the same time. oh gosh. i wan to watch till 35 on youtube den can watch the rest tt i d/l le! den next anime is gatekeepers! nostalgic huh!

anyway.. yest 08/06 was suet bday. my jie hu i nv call jie in real life. oh well. appy 18 bday. =D had some celebrations. oh well. wasnt really in the mood the whole day. dunno y too. juz aint interested in doing anything and stuff. i want to have a long sleep since my test are over.

today rice bday. so happy bday rice. hope ur dreams come true. ^^ bdays are sucha nice days where frenz wish ya and stuff. i really lyk bday and stuff. to me, my wish this yr is to spend with my gf if i have one. >< hahas. its ok. i'll wait for my bdae to come and see wad happens. hahas. every year is kinda the same. quiet and lonely de. hahas. juz some few frenz hu really take note will wish me. hahas. =D but i'm grateful enough already. =x

hahas. best bday was i sec 4. though its my o level period but i really remember that day. the most ppl wish me bday de. =D presents really dun matter. of cos for 18 yrs i wish i had la (which last yr i did), i juz want my frenz to wish me frm their heard den tts enuff. =D

oh well. i'm tired. >< wants to sleep. oh well. i hope those guys have reflected. its ex to see those actions. -_-"

2006-06-07T02:51:00.000+08:00

mr retarded

and mr.retarded makes it to my post today congrats!

i super dispise ppl who post annoymously and stuff. wad for ur parents gave u a name. wan to criticise ppl yet dun dare to be known? this is wad ppl usually call hum-ji kia or rather kid with shoot in penis.

wanna say things put real names la. emo-freak. laugh my ass out after seeing wad mr.retarded kindly type. read pls. its all anger. there's nth whining and stuff lyk i wan love on every single line of ur sentence. i wan this and that but i cant get. oh ya. he's retarded thats y he cant understand english well. sorry to use he, but somehow scorpio's do can guess hu is behind the mask of mr.retarded. nice hiding huh? putting names and using perfect english so no one knows. how hum can u get i say. tsk tsk.

well let me reply ur tag, mr.retarded. PMS is aint tt dirty to u if u managed to check the dictionary. i wrote down is pre-mental and not the common pre-menstrual. it means i'm going mad soon. have u learn a new english vocab? i hope so huh. and oh. u say i emo-freak? look at urself. if u have nth to be afraid of wad i type and stuff will u come here and say? so this lead to 90% confirmation of hu u are. dun forget i can check ip too. juz tt i choose not to. if a war is wad u wan, i'll accept. come.. lex has not flare up for 1 yr + already. those scary days i had. let me relieve them. i had enuff of tolerating and stuff. u gave me a reason to. come mr.retarded. say it to me. spit it to my face.

oh yeah. lyk wad blurpig says. no one asked u to read in the first place. i dun see any other comments saying its irritating. i even have ppl hu agrees. feeling guilty eh? trying to cover up yet again? dun fuck arnd with lex. he may be good at most times. but i said i'm reaching my limit and u broke it. so kindly. pls contact me. call me and arrange. my number is 97108523. understand english? can see? wan me to put in other languages?

english - 97108523
chinese - 九七一零 - 八五二三
japanese - kyu nana ichi zero no hachi go ni san
french (in pronounciation) - nurf set uh zeho - weet sign duh tua
french - neuf sept un zeho - huit cinq deux trois
hokkien - gao cek jik leng bui ngor nor sah

fuckily choose 1 language pls.

phew. feel so good. hope mr.retard replies me. DBSY, going to flunk. dun understand anything. hope luck shines thogh. 3.0 i hope can still make it. ciao~

2006-06-06T03:26:00.000+08:00

i need to blog this. y are there still sucha guys in these worlds? its nth personal but dammit wake up ur ideas. two person to stress in fact.

1) come on ya married and ya still flirting? wake up ur idiot idea! ya 30+ for god sake and still coming to arcade to noe girls at the age of 18? i did say paedophile are ok only if the girl is willing. fuck me if u disagree. anyway, come on cant u see the girl is siam-ing u? have a sense of face la duh~ u piss me and turn me off utterly. having external relationship is a fucker! ><

2) 2nd guy. wei. time to wake up la. ur reputation is getting frm bad to worse. unlike the first, u dun flirt. but i juz cant stand it anymore. u claim to wan long lasting love. but does having a relationship with a girl u seldom hang out with or knowing a few days can assure u that? come on. hu are u kidding. seriously, i disgust this type of ppl. i agree, now i do change my views on girls quite fast. but at least i will try to know one girl better and try to see if it works out. i know i aint have any talent in this but at least i do mean it when i say i wan a long lasting relationship. screw me up if u tink wad u are doing is right. and dun for 1 minute tink u keep num everyone dunno wad u doing nors. is juz tt ppl choose not to say it or interfere but u've reached my limit. grrr..

damm. once is ok. twice is forgivable. thrice and more? you disgust me and totally make me dun trust u in terms of love. damm. are u going to carry on lyk this? meeting every single girl hoping to get some relationship out of them? if u noe hu u are, as a fren i advice u to stop that. everyone who knows wad u do are disgusted. i even have replies like. i knew it. replies like he always do it one la.. even ppl give up hope. wad love here and there. fuck! u DON'T understand the bloody meaning of love for godsick. seriously, ya turning me off by every action u take towards girls. actions lyk this are directly considered as flirt. you want love? find it. and not ping pong piack, cherry cherry lom jiang pass one girl. lose, play again. *ROAR* if u tink i'm picking on u, so be it. i'll rather have a fren hu can hold wad he says well rather than someone i dun respect at all.

i've said my peace. and damm roselind nah. bloody dun put lecture slides on ole. how the hell u want me to study. and u bloody juz read frm the slides. give me the money mans. i read out for u. go lesson ask u question u dunno. try to avoid or ignore me. my questions too chim for u? teach well la sensei! we ask u why cannot stream the video, u go check still cannot u ask us back why. dammit. ya the tcher! ya supposed to solve it and tell us! not asking back us why cant stream! ARGH!

bloody pissed! as u can see... i'm having a heavy PMS (pre-mental symdrome)! dun ahcha me or i'll bite. GRRR~!

on second notes, i miss my panda. :(
and blurpig! IF YA EVER READING, WHEN WILL OUR GATHERING BE! YOU SAID MEET UP DURING JUNE HOLIDAYS DE! =X

back to sleep. morning wake up study. and hell, u two better go reflect pls. ciao~

2006-06-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

sick again!

hmm. feeling sickish again. damm. i'm a weak boy as said frm my mother. always sick. spending tons of $$ for me on medication. T.T i want to be stronger! ><

anyway, yest quite good. went badminton in the morning. awww. my badminton days. den went to the gym and stuff. did pull-ups, running, cycling, weights, pumping and stuff. i want back my stronger self and shape. >< oh mans... yeah. was kinda tired though. but who cares. DBSY test was yesterday too. can compile and stuff but cannot execution. T.T my tcher is so kind to tell us where go wrong too! hahas. =P

yeah. term tests are next week and i'm praying for luck le. cos i really no mood to chiong. hahas. dunno y too. and toot is sucha sweet girl to send me this (click to d/l). awww. thanks toot! ^^

but i've got to say its nth abt the friends thing. its a part and parcel of life to me. but really, lex will stand alone if no ones wants him too! ^^ and to nic bro. heard frm sha u miss me and josh. awww. i miss ya too. lols! diff class but i'll try to jio u everywhere we go k! ^^

and on final words, lex still rocks big time la!

2006-06-02T02:22:00.000+08:00

stress ah!

i'm tired of everything. i juz want it to end soon!

i hate studying but i lyk school.
i love my frenz but i hate betrayal.
i want love but i cant find love.
i want freedom but i hate to be lonely.

damm! how contridicting can i get?! i need peace. argh! everything flowing thru my brains! how to get 3.0 GPA lyk that?! argh! screw me. and nth good up next! cept maybe the centis outing to MOS in june and the chalet? argh! save me! i want to jam! i want the drums! come on! page me! anyone! lets go jamming! ><

i've given you the chance and you blew it. damm. y am i hesitating?!

2006-06-01T03:00:00.000+08:00

hectic

and i realised. how out of time i am. i juz realised june holidays started already. no wonder i see students strolling to school at 10am. hahas. oh well, buck up lex. ur last thing for this week the lab test is coming! THIS FRI! and next week is term test already. gambatte ne!

i shant gonna care more if no one cares

2006-05-31T02:34:00.000+08:00

friends? ><

first thing shld come first! happy 50th bday to me yandao and best dad! you've been my dad for 17yrs and i love you so! a big muacks to ya daddy! you rocks my life! ^^ live long and be healthy! hope ya leg injury recovers soon! <3

yep its been kinda a hectic 2 days or so for me. rushing thru my stmd project and stuff. gosh. i hope my tests will end soon. >< i want some 2 weeks break! =x hahas.

yep. and mr.joshua. thanks sia. ask me do the things first when u haven do. >< make me sleep the whole days cos i stayed up to do. argh. exdr. =x hahas. gosh. y am i lyk so easy listen to ppl de ah? i'm too soft? o.O hahas. and term tests is round the corner >< hope i can make it. everything seems so fast and i've not studied yet! i'm gonna study! i dun care! hahas. IND sure is tough. with so much fun but hard courses. hahas.

gosh. yeah. sometimes i tink i've been wasting my time finding my gem here and there. tend to be played though sometimes i got the feeling i playing ppl. but usually is being played or smth. and every time i need to tell myself, uh-uh. lex, ya not cut out for that. hahas. how i wish sometimes i can juz relax off and let it come. but somehow this juz aint me. >< i want it to come soon! >< *bui!*

yeah. slowly as time goes, people tend to forget and leave me out of their minds. as life moves on i guess. see how my sec school juniors and frenz say keep in contact and stuff yet now none even remembered my existence? yeah. my fren bday passed this month. we used to be close and stuff and i msg tt fren happy bday lyk i did for 6 yrs. now, the fren nv even in turn say a thank you or smth. oh well. good thing me eh?

my other fren Z bday juz passed too. wished Z bday. and yeah. Z replied but lyk kinda shoo and ok ok. i noe u noe type of tone and stuff. how bad feeling i was to know. it was nv there to begin me. all me part on thinking that frenz i know now stays. so much for my happy ending. and so i realised nth really good comes out if u treat ur frenz really well. many ppl nowadays treat others for granted. thinking it is a must or a responsibility to do for them or remember it. i guess i'm the latter side of doing those stupid things for them. cant blame. thats me. ppl often treat me for granted maybe cos i juz dun have the heart to say no? eh? oh well. guess thats all for friendship. or any relationship.

i'm tired, i've given up. damm. its really saddening to see after 17+ years, not even 1 fren is 100% true. hais. lex is alone afterall. and nope. i dun need any pity. i will still live my life with a smile and face it strongly. for i believe in my determination. to me, lex rocks big time. =)

2006-05-28T02:46:00.000+08:00

ya pissing me off

hmm. juz some little update. dun really have anything much to blog either. projects and ccn. not really enjoying myself these days. went to watch da vinci code with my panda. yeah. was quite nice. =D and the movie is damm nice!

oh well. thats abt all. below are juz some vents. hmm..

i hate ppl hu thinks their superior and stuff. trust me dude, whenever u say u can i f*cking dun believe. come on. so wad u tink ya better in tt field? wake up. how many times have i proved you wrong. i cant freaking stand ur, i-know-it-all and i'm-the-best attitude. do it lahs if u tink that i'm too lousy for it. all u do is juz say how lousy ppl is, making fun of them. anymore f*cking nonsense and trust me. i will juz leave my hands of the whole thing. write feedbacks saying i'm doing nth. u'll see wad feedbacks i have too. u're pissing me off time and time. i'm nice to bully eh? tink twice. its cos i treat u as a good fren of mine dat i nv argue with u. its cos i treat u with at least some respect that i freaking take ur comments and sallow it. but hey, my limits is near and u wont want to taste my poison. whether ya reading my blog or not i dun care. get this into your bloody thick skull. i'm not born to serve you neither i'm born to be bian3 by you. neither are u born perfect and superior juz cos u tink u have ur god or wad to protect u and stuff. u can say how good your religon is but trust me, it makes u no higher status den anyone arnd. ya still human and u'll bloody take these words into mind. i dun mind giving up a good fren in this situation. dun bloody piss me off.

next. to someone (not the one above) :if ya serious juz be. dun always make me want to serious den u are not. its hurting u noe. one moment u can be nice another moment u can bo chup. wads wrong? i told u so many times yet so many times u did not go to the point. i'm tired already. trying hard to make u understand. are you playing? damm.

nites guys. guess its juz the pms in me. i'm having a bad day... *plays bad day* ciao~

2006-05-23T02:33:00.000+08:00

starting on project!

hmm. shall update a little. lols! today went to school at 11 to attend 3 lecture till 3. lols! den com skills till 6. had lunch at 12 though. saw liting that xiao gong zhu there. lols. she's getting cuter each time i see her. hahas! yeah. had lunch with nich there. talked lotsa crapped. nich got crazy when liting was there. wonder y too. -_-" talked things that have no link at all. lols!

yeah. met nich again after school to go home together and stuff. did things at mac at nite. i finally started my projects. lyk after so long. hahas! inmm. weee~ i got lotsa great ideas for tt project. cos its the most fun sub this sem! budden great ideas = more codes = more difficult. damm. wonder if my final product can make it not. xD

oh well. i got over lotsa things and lex's intelligence went up 1 again! *plays up score music* yeah! and now, i just want to concentrate on doing my projects and stuffs. wad will come will come. though its my wish to do work with the girl i love and stuff. it'll nv come true in time. so i rather spend the time to study harder for DBSY and other work. ^^ hope i can make it in time! *pats myself on the back*

stance: eh girl. dun keep everything to yourself k! u are there for me so i will be there for u too! lex dun forget kindness de! i tell u mine u must tell me urs too ma! hahas! smiles k! and dun tink too much, my stupid tortoise. lols! ^^

oh yeah. found this interesting web to make ur own south park char! i've played with it and made some nice pic! xD go try!

good Time-wasting web!

enjoy everyone! smiles! nites! 9am lesson tml. >< argh!

2006-05-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

stupid lex again?

disappointing, disappointment, disappointed.

y does this have to happen? gosh i feel dumb at times yet somehow i juz cannot control the emotions within me. its natural for a scorpio to feel that way. i tried to change for quite some time. but it juz wont budge. damm and this cause me lotsa trouble already! f*ck it dude! i nid to change! argh!

or is it juz because leo wont understand how a scorpio mind feels when its too shallow? i guess time is needed. i'm not ready for anything yet. lex, grow up! ya juz a small piny boy lahs!

and yeah. lyk wad drew said, i'm not in a really good mood right now. often got misunderstanding on me or smth. i wanted to say it in a nice way cause i dowan to hurt anyone. but y does it have to happen that ppl thinks i'm plotting or not believing in them? tell ya wad. scorpios believe in wad they see. not wad they hear. unless is real solid proof. if ya disappointed, i'm sorry. i meant no harm. but in return, i'm kinda disappointed in u not believing in me either.

argh! i make no sense. dun provoke me this few days. lex aint in the right mood till he finds his liang teh. so, a big
F*CK YOU
to anyone who wants to try disturb me now. thanks ah.

i've said my peace. nights. argh. turn off the lights pls. i need a breather. !!! ><

and when i tot it begun, i ended the light as soon as it lit up.

2006-05-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

lUlUlU

a little update b4 i sleep. ><

1) i hate ppl hu takes pride in other ppl's credit!
2) i hate ppl hu shows how good they are but obviously trys to act humble
3) i hate ppl hu tries to hide the fact that they lied and stuff
4) i hate ppl hu thinks too highly of themselves
5) i hate ppl hu thinks wad they think is true IS TRUE
6) i hate ppl hu say one thing do another
7) i hate ppl hu tries to act nice but is planning stuff behind me
8) i hate ppl hu act clever by saying things that doesnt even make any sense
9) i hate ppl hu bloody thinks they are right all the time and loved by all
10) i hate ppl hu doesnt use their brains befora spatting out their words.

there u have it. lex's 10 hates of ppl. xD nth much to blog either. left or right? i got to answer it somehow. ><

its nth personal. its juz the things i hate. =P

2006-05-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

formal

formal presentation in formal today. i tink i did well for my part and stuff though there's some pause here and there. lols. hmm. feel weird in formal though but hu cares. lols!

lex is dumb. lex is stupid. i dunno wad am i thinking myself. argh! damm... i hate myself. hais.... wad am i doing. >< forget it. lex sucks! ><

with blazor

without blazor

i look informal in formal rite? yeah. lex can pull this stunt off well. =x

learning to be independent

2006-05-14T03:34:00.000+08:00

Happy Mother's Day!

went to ps to shop for my mama prezzie today. got her a pair of earrings and chocolate! haha. though its not much but its the thought that counts. =D yeah. nth much oso. came back home and mama saw the prezzie. its past 12am so yeah. gave it to her. hahas. ^^ anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama~! love you to bits and pieces even though we may quarrel. ya still a good mum to me for 18 years~ <3

finally talked to mrs constance cheong hui qi in real person le. same as in msn though. lols~ yeah. nth much too. and so i'm going off. =D night guys.

high hopes bring greater disappointment. i'm never gonna believe again

2006-05-13T03:41:00.000+08:00

****

hmm. went to shop for my formal wear today with my mama. been so long since i went shopping with her. feel so bad. but she bought my stuff for me. thanks mama~! 300+ lehs. >< thats y i decided to wake up at 7 later to make breakfast for her~! hahas! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama! ^^

nth much today either. went arcade. kinda lonely and stuff. cos no ppl i really hang out with always is there. yeah. so played alone. den go walk walk. hahas. life as a single really sucks sometimes. seeing couples everywhere nowadays really make me wanna be attached sometimes. but love does not come so good and easily for me de. so... oh well..

yeah. peaceful life. at least i can find someone to tok to at night now. =D

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. to me, ya a beauty. =)

2006-05-11T03:00:00.000+08:00

perm hair!

and yet another girl friend of mine wan to perm her hair. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! wassup with this trend now. neither do me and my friends tink its nice, it spoils the hair too~! and u got to bear for 3 months before u can reborn it back or smth~!

ahhh. which kuku start this trend!! IT SUCKS! =x lols! nth much. headaches. >< argh! shld i join intsc or SU? make up my mind!!!! ><

till den.. hardo gay............. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

ppl do not change. trend changes ppl

2006-05-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

=D

[edit] a good kickstart is the first step to a successful future. ^^ [/edit]

projects start to be clearer each day which means i need to start on my projects le. >< cannot slack anymore lex~! ganbatte desu~!

missed yet another centis dinner. lols. dunno y too. yeah. life is ok. my tp band is going to jam rewrite and i cant wait for it~! xD REWRITE~ HARUKA KANATA~ weeeeeee. hope we're all to blame comes soon. xD

yeah. nth much. fri vesak day = make up lessons agian. zzzzzzzzzz~!

yeah. i wanna make more friends and stuff in TP! tp is my home. where memories will take me thru my life. so i wan make it a good 3 years~! TP OEI!

lols~

believe in oneself = believe in yourself

seems hard? lols. go figure. =P

2006-05-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

update

and i realised its been some time since i alst updated. oh so well. nth happened much cept of the polling stuff. hmmm. PAP did it again in my grc. its kinda standard oso de lahs. PAP had been the thing that takes control of the parliment for years already. to me, if i am voting, y make life difficult for urself if ya not having any difficulty in the area u stay? lols..

oh well. nth happened much. missed the centis gathering on fri and stuff. i tink the things that kept me quite awake was the return of bleach fillers and the ever fillers naruto. lols. yeah. watched the manga of naruto already. its so exciting can~! i cant wait for naruto to go back on the anime track mans~! xD

yeah.. time passes so fast. week 2 already? lols~! soon week 13 we'll have our holidays and stuff. oh well. met lotsa new friends i got to say. but still, i'm still lack of wad i'm looking for. its so hard to fight these emotions. sometimes i wished i could be juz lyk her, nth in my mind, dun even wan to think of love and stuff. having the mindset of single rocks mahs!

hahas. but somehow, to me, love is something so powerful. so mystical that i wan to be bathing under it every single day. it juz works wonder. but somehow the girls i lyk... either have too high expectations or they simply wouldnt even take a look at me. oh well. lex, accept the fact that ya not suited for love even though you so much wan to give urs away. ><

must i really slash it to let go of all my emotions?

i TINK i TINK and i TINK. wake me up frm this stupid dream i'm having.

2006-05-03T01:32:00.000+08:00

french tutorial 2

alright. today. i messed up my time table again! damm! was supposed to reach school at 9 for a lab. but i see wrong to thurs which is 10 for lec. and i miss a lab!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! how stupid can i get these days. oh well. reached school at 11. den erh.. realised no tutorial. -_-" so its a 5 hrs break. argh waste my time..

went for 2nd french tutorial! omg! i laughed my ass out! met a fren frm japanese class again! xD mr................ ok wads his name again? damm. =x

anyway, we were trying to learn how to speak french. but as u noe. french aint easy. there is singular, plural, formal, informal, masculin, feminin. and u cant see the words and pronounce it lyk it is.

eg. OUI you will pronounce as OEI or smth. WRONG! its pronounced as WEE. -_-"" gosh.. and we had some fun with it..

order of french word, meaning, the pronounciation i gave. =x
fatigue - tired - fatty gay
malade - sick - ma la der
gros - fat,big - go ho

ah. alot more la. getting lazy. lols! its darn farnie! laughed my ass out trying to twist my tongue to pronounce. >< LOLS! aiya skip! went for today's french lecture cos i dowan wait for 4 hrs on thurs. lols! slept for the last 20 minutes or so. =x LOLS!

------------------------------------------------------
life seems to go on already
i tink i've somehow gotten over most things
maybe its just cos i've accepted i'm not a good bf or smth
oh well, its been years already
since i got nice love
hmmm. wonder when's the next time
a girl can make me go so mad
hahas! till den, lex enjoying everyday with his frenz. ^^
and i tink somehow
to most ppl, they dun give a damm abt lex anymore
bah~~ i feel outcasted suddenly
somewhat lyk a hi-bye fren
thanks ah joshua

every one step you take, is every one step you improve
every one decision you make, is every one responsibility you take.

2006-05-02T01:48:00.000+08:00

cute girl!

yeah. yet another day passed. nth much frm me. juz that i'm getting more relax each day. hahas! today in arcade. hmm. me and knnth went sot over a girl. LOLS! omg! she's lyk a model can. nice figure and everything. + a super cute face! lols. but she's attached. den when i was playing ggxx, knnth was beside me. her bf and her played tennis beside me. she was sitting beside me lahs. den she have a smell coming from her. hen xiang! =x LOLS!

die le lahs! budden she kinda tall. tink same height bahs. =x dun tink of me as hao se can. its juz so happen dat there's sucha cute girl beside me. xD

yeah. back on topic. chatted with liting online. lols! knew more abt her liaos. lols! she ah. bwg one lahs. hahas! den kiwi came to ask abt the emoticon thing and stuff. that sums up my labour day. =x LOLS! kinda sians but muz get used bahs. being single aint fun for me. hahas! hope love comes knocking someday!

why is it that tearing up is easier than drawing? why is pushing easier than pulling. and why is being loved easier than loving?

2006-05-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

truuuuuuuuu

and just wad can i do? hmm. once again i moved a futher step on. nth much to blog anyway. kinda sick of everything le. i hate being alone thats all.

yeah. got my frustrations out on the drum set and yeah. truuuuuuuuuu! up it goes to 1072.90. lols! oh well. guess drumming can take my mind away for good.

and now i really dun believe in anything le. wadeva really. its all broken up once again. i got the msg and thats all i guess. oh well. and i tot i can believe once again. thanks to those lines. yeah. but oh well. lex must be strong. becos lex is strong. nv wants to try anymore. nth good comes out of it! dammit!

its better to know the truth from the start rather to realise it in the end

"n i oso noe i wun accept anione yet thou i kip sayin i wan find.sho i will tell guys like dat" - lesson to learn from liting. lols! oh well, great job guys, u all stand no chance anymore! wahahas! wan help her oso cannot le. lols! thanks ah ting. xD

dun believe - 不相信 - shinjite janai

2006-04-29T01:44:00.000+08:00

lala~

once done will be done. friends is more than i can ask for. i've ruined everything and i'm trying to pick the pieces up 1 by 1. but i doubt we'll be as close as when we first met. oh well. i guess the awkardness still remains and stuff.

was kinda happy to receive ur reply in sms. at least i know i'm still a fren worth to reply. yeah... take care girl. =))

nth nice nowadays. really nth much to cheer abt. maybe there is. LITING! lols. that silly girl. lols. xiao gong zhu. wth. i'm lyk promoting her uh! but she makes me smiles sometimes too. thats good. and josefine! lols! one crazy girl. and those freshies of mine. =) thanks everyone. love you guys to bits. not forgetting. yuting! tada! hahas!

ok ya. liting ah... in two months time i wan see wad happen lehs. open up ur mind and heart hors jiu can de! ganbatte lahs! hahas!

till den~! oh ya. ya still a bitch. =x if u guys noe hu i'm referring too. which i doubt none knows. xD

2006-04-28T14:52:00.000+08:00

small update

short update from school lab:

and they say. the most fortunate and happiest person on earth is a person hu found happiness with the one their closest with.

glad u found yours. =) yeah. ya doing real fine now i guess. laughters and stuffs everyday. yeah. seeing the one you treasure most happiest is something to be happy abt eh? thats wad i've been telling myself oso. if not i'll still be stuck. but i guess more time is still needed to overcome everything to start anew. somewhere i still. argh. no lex. dun ever think of it! u must overcome!

oh well.. things to overcome:
injections and needles
rejections
jealousy
deep missing
unable to give up
doing stupid things
rash things

yeah. thats abt all.

sometimes i tink i could turn back time, maybe i'll choose not to even appear

oh ya and did i say she's juz lyk a bitch? damm u! i where de jiu u ah. talk to me in that manner. feel lyk slapping ya somewhat sia. i talk to u less than lyk 7 lines or so and seriously, i've never even talked to u in real person or even talked ABOUT you. stop behaving lyk i owe u smth or wad. if u have a problem say to me. no nid act till lyk that one. its cos ya a girl and ya a fren of my fren i dowan argue with you. but if u want, i can shoot till u cry bitch. dun blame me for wad. but ya getting up my nerves each and everytime. wanna noe wad? his name is ****** (pronounced lyk that) and not ****** (pronounced lyk tt). its my way of calling and i need no bitch to correct me in a bitchy way. suck ur thumb girl for u've made into lex's bitch blacklist. grats! ya no1 since the start of my schooling life. i want make no enemy, but ya the first cos of soome stupid stuck up way that i seem to owe u something when i dun even really talk abt u and stuff at all. unless u have a prove i did smth wrong b4 or said smth wrong, grats, ya bitch no1.

dun bite a scorpio on its back when he's in no good mood. he'll give u hell. oh wait. he'll give you hell even when he's in no good mood. juz dun bite me. suck ur thumb, bitch

2006-04-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

smiles

slowly and slowly i learn to take steps forward and moving on. =) thanks to yuting. gosh. she helped me alot and i swore to treat her lunchie some of these days. xD

and liting is so lame can! hahas. wants to find someone to help her forget abt her ex within two months. lols! lame la. and so we chat and chat. and i feel so much lighter! so.. thanks liting! =))

anyway, really gotten so much lighter after i went dbg to play drums again. =x the feeling came back. those i want to S the song de feeling. is nice sia. lols! did some improvement and stuff. got sotto to push up 5% sP and stuff. hahas. yeah. lighten my mood a little though its still kinda unstable yet.

tml's friday le. a week ending soon. so many things happened and i'm already behind time. i nid to catch up soon. i nid to move on fast! aint wasting anymore time. but can i? i hope. kel's bday today! will be buahing him on sat. if we (yeah WE) got the strength to buah him. =x he's way to strong on the legs and hands. =x

oh well. i wan to find back that happy lex self again. and liting ah liting. tsk tsk. u ah.. bwg to u oso. lols!

enjoy peeps! sooner or later, lex will be back! dun make me fall again! oh yeah. cut my hair short at the back in a moment of sadness. so no more long hair lex anymore. oh well. that maybe shows a sign i can sacrifice de bahs. =x hahas. kinda miss my hiar. but... oh well. wads done is done. good luck bahs everyone.

everything past so fast
its juz lyk yesterday
that i juz said
i love you
from deep within my heart

and it seems juz lyk today
you said no
and left me behind

memories will stay
but life will go on
may happiness follow you
girl..
=))

and they say the happiest person is the person who found the love they really want. hope you do soon. =) be happy always. not you alone. but everyone pls. lex doesn't want to see sadness again. juz that loneliness filling up in me again.. someone wake me up.

and pls, dun repoach urself anymore. no more dui bu qi from u anymore. it'll juz make me more guilty. so pls smile and stuff. get back to normal and feel love the way u want too. juz remember that when you fall, there's still a me to carry you and lift you up. my road, your road already. i guess? take care. =) <3

2006-04-26T10:06:00.000+08:00

unforgettable experience

400 post up next so yeah. juz post. its been hrs since the incident happens. i still haven found back much mood in theh first plce to talk abt. rather trying to wake up and stuff instead. reality is harsh but i gotta face up to it someday. i dun really feel lyk giving up. but wad can i do? feeling sucidal but its stupid. feeling real soul but still gotta give way. oh well. guess time will tell. really cant really bear to give everything up and stuff. its too strong. hope time can take me thru. maybe its juz in the shadow and stuff. its up to me to decide and you to guess wad i'm thinking. it aint hard understanding a scorpio. ><

i walk a lonely road, the only one that i have ever known
calling all out but no one replies

take care ma frens.. TT.TT

2006-04-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

unforgettable experience

~~and y cant we at least be friends or smth? no one will noe how hurting things can turn out to be.~~ ppl arnd may not feel but to a scorpio, they can feel everything. juz abt everything. cos they can read ppl's mind and feel things very easily. its smth that cannot be taken away frm them.

went for centis dinner together today. was really kinda out and mood and stuff towards the end. was happily chatting and joking. when u came, i felt so happy and stuff. but otherwise. not even a hi or a glance to mean anything. when we left, everyone was shot a bye juz except me and stuff. there i was saying bye and waving yet u nv turn to me. i was thinking. aint even friends say bye or smth? ~~am i not even a fren anymore?~~

went really out of mood and stuff. dunno wad more can i do already.. shy i guess. i am too u noe. actually its lyk how much i train myself not to. i used to be damm super shy with u arnd. its normal in my opinion. but i told myself. i must not be. if i really wanna win ur heart, i must not! how can love be shy? so slowly i tried to loosen myself. and stuff. but in the end, i tink i juz killed off everything i had. its kinda disappointing and stuff. i played the fire too much. had too much expectations and stuffs.

lex, wake up ur bloody idea. not that u got the whole picture figured out. its time to make a good decision and stuff. u can do it. 1 yr is enuff for u to change everything. f*ck things that i tot i can do. there are indeed things that cannot be achieve with determination and stuff. its juz proven.

snap out of it. u got ppl asking u. y are u giving up a forest for a tree dude! wake up! yeah i will. give me time to chill. i hope at least the next time, u can at least say a bye to me or so... thats at least all i ask. but i wonder. when's the next time..

to cy: thanks for everything seriously. u spat all out which i really wanted to noe. ya someone great. really. if ever you two got together, treat my chao ah nie good yeah? thats all i ask for. for she's the 2nd real person to capture my heart this deep. i give my best. surely. and as i said a scorpio's instinct are always right, believe it or not. u have feelings for her. u are luckier den me in such a way. she's a great girl. and i hope the least you can do is try ur best too. i aint seeing you as a rival. ya a good fren one can ever ask for. because ya truthful in your words. =)

i guess its high-time to say names already.. so...
to jeanie: yep. its been great knowing you these 5 months or so. i guess fate juz doesnt want me to get close and stuff. playing the station games back in otc, having fun in camps and ALP and stuff. all these are things that will stay with me. ya juz that unique girl i see. keep that up and i believe someday, somehow, we'll get together and play those stupid things again. really. thanks for those memories. dun be frustrated anymore. love may come and love may go. but treasure wad u have. and i believe i still owe u somethings. ~~i will return it de. so look out for it.~~ =) [ edit ] take real care and stuff. esp ur sickness. its been worrying me for a month or so le so pls take care k? i cant be there but at least i do care. =D [ /edit ]

to yuting, kiwi, mayb: thanks for everything. i love you guys to bit and pieces. =D my true friends in poly. =D

its always easier to fall in love than to letting go.
true happiness is when u see the girl u love falling in love with someone she truely loves - lesson learned

2006-04-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

sadness to the core

and how can i turn a blind eye? its been real hard to keep myself real happy and stuff. and this have to happen. can i take it any longer? i think i cant. i feel lyk juz shouting everything out. its too much to take already. i feel so secondary school lyk to die or smth. but i wont. even if i have to fight to the last moment till u really say it so.

why. i keep asking myself why. wad did i do wrong? hais. everything that came out is all abt someone and stuff. noe how much it hurts to even hear such a thing? i rather to hear the truth and stuff than spinning myself in circles.

and lyk damm! how to keep myself so up when she gave u the hint that is him or smth? lex, are you that stupid huh! tsk tsk! bud yeah! i'm that stupid. i juz cant run away frm it. its lyk everything i can give up oso can sia. argh! damm. seriously i really dunno wad other steps to take. juz yest yuting gave me a target. i juz promised mong ling another one too. budden. it was all shattered lyk a few hrs ago? my heart is sour now. bud how? ren zhu bahs lex. is u lyk de. juz pray and pray bahs. its all juz deploy or smth. i really hope this is not true. i dowan my hopes to shatter. i'm really serious. pls tell me this is fake. hais..

wake up lex..

2006-04-24T02:52:00.000+08:00

outing/sending off/happiest day!

yeah. today went sentosa for FOC/FOW outing. was kinda feeling sick already. oh well. i need to sleep soon anyway. got my ass there! pon drum lessons. woops. its lyk wasting 15 bucks? boo! went sentosa raining. double boo! took bus and reached pawalan beach and stopped raining! waste my money! triple boo! ><

went there put down my bag. ok. was thrown into the water straight. so fast. >< lols! had fun la. played some beach volley, beach soccer, beach frisbe and stuff. but how i wish she was there. oh well she needed to work. =((

ya. funniest thing there is playing handiplast (a sick game) in the water. pain ah! hahas. nth much though. got a burn on my nose ONLY. dots! LOLS! sat on the sandy beach for quite some time though. people watching and thinking of stuff. been ages since i last sat on the beach in deep thoughts. went to bugis later. nv eat seoul garden with the peeps. instead went to each ba chor mee with knnth. xD den went airport to send yiling off. bought her a cup and a bookmark. wonder will it be gone to waste anot. >< she's still my first FA afterall and i lyk her! as in as a FA. though she nv talk much to me de. but she's way cool in her way! come back soon yiling! i'll be receiving u! took photos and stuff. oh well. dinda dare ask to take a nicer photo with her. arnd 11.30 all wan take bus home. went all left. only me and her. oh well.

was wondering which bus to take. 53 or 36. so let fate decide which bus go off first. in da end 53. she oso taking de. was happy lyk duh~ lols! first time sia. though its a short trip but to me, it was the happiest thing i could ever ask for b4 i wont be seeing her for quite sometime. sat with her on the bus talking abt stuffs. real sweet of her to accompany me see the bus route before. =D thanks! its the best bus ride home for months since *ahem*. oh well. dinda want the bus ride to end but she reached and alight. oh well. said bye. but before she alight, she turned and said bye again. awww. tink its juz her. but to me, a little bye can bring a smile on my face for weeks!. ><

really, i want to thank anyone hu answer my prayers. i really enjoyed everything with her. juz everything. =D it'll be 1 yr she'll be gone frm tp. dunno how things will look lyk after 1 yr. but i wont give up der! even if she doesnt want to go out i will still try my best de! 1 yr lehs. will definitely miss her lyk mad la. i'll make it a point to go to her service once i have the time. surely. ^^

dinda managed to get a final pic with her but its ok. at least, i had the happiest last moments i could wish for with her. i'll still be waiting. i said i'll be the 2nd and i will be. when lex serious, nth gonna break me down. i want you to noe. noe everything i feel. 1 yr wait is long, but i'll still go on for i believe in miracle. =D

waiting and <3 u more everyday. did i miss out missing you? >< i'll still be here for you.

trees may fall, lights may fade
but the love i give
will never fall or nv fade

cut nails.SLEEP! ciaos!

ps: i want take a nice photo with you to keep in my memories!!!!!!

2006-04-23T04:11:00.000+08:00

i'll cherish you

how do i feel? suddenly its as though light has been lighten up or smth. but the prob is juz i dun feel lyk facing up to reality. its always me hu is trying to run away and be strong and stuff. believing in my own powers or wad. but wad have i achieved so far. in the end, nth good comes out.

even that words that spread across is kinda obvious. even he asked me wad am i going to do. i was lyk. damm. wad did i did to deserve sucha situation. but i acted strong and stuff. still believing that there's still a mild hope to cling on too. but am i deceiving myself instead? or is the feeling i have too hard to even allow me the possibility to let you go? those pasts we had. those little details we went thru and talked still rings in my head. but do you feel the same?

everyday i'm trying my best to try understand you more. i noe its kinda irritating. but i cant help it. a day without seeing you talk or reply makes me uneasy already. i noe ya not ready for bgr and stuff. but i can wait till ya settled down enuff. but question. pls tell me its all worthwhile. not as if if not worthwhile i wont wait any longer. i will in fact. but its juz i want to know that at least i can make the dun lyk to lyk. so how?

tml will definitely be the last time i'm gonna see u le. the next meeting will be kinda long later. two different places. but i really hope if i jio u out someday, at least once can make it. i will really miss you. but i noe even if its playing arnd, your heart may put him first instead of me. yeah. scorpios shld be jealous. me? indeed i am. very. but this somehow puts a challenge to me that even if my looks cant be better. even if my time with you aint as much as he can be with you. one day. juz one day, i believe my sincerity can slowly inch you closer to feeling the feeling i'm giving.

till den. nites. sentosa tml. tired. dunno wan go not. and i tink i caught a flu. sneezing thru the nite already. oh well. told her but the reply was lol. dunno wad to say. >< ahh. *puts knife into heart* hahas. wan an all..

slowly i make that line to. are you ok ma? wan me pei u see doctor? =x

i wont be toy soliders, i wont fall. instead i'll fight for wad i tink my heart is calling out for. <3 u more again

2006-04-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

and the lights goes dimmer each and everytime. when we see each other face to face. i wonder wads that odd feeling i'm getting. so much want to talk to ya but there's this dun-talk-here-can feeling frm ya. oh mans. am i thinking too much again? so much wanting to stand just beside you chatting the day away, laughing together and stuff. today will be somewhat the last crazy day i can be close to ya and i blew it. once again. thanks lex ah. he doesnt have the initiative again to talk. damm.

oh well. shant say much anymore. i juz hope at least we can still talk when we meet face to face or smth. thats smth least i can pray for le. y am i so stupid tt time. den now spread. make myself die or smth liddat. gosh. i feel so dumb now. even the 'last day' oso cannot laugh with her or smth. hais...

oh well. thanks kiwi for consoling me and pushing me more. really. kiwi, ya a great fren to noe mans! <3 u so! =D encouragement for me even though i noe in my heart myself that comparing to others, i am the weakest link and stuff. girls would rather choose others den me that type. but of well, kiwi did a great job to cheer me up and stuff. best friend of mine. =D

anyway girls, this is for kiwi. u you wanna find a guy as a good mate, kiwi's the one to look out for! really. he has nice eyes (in my opionion), cute and innocent boyish face. he can make your day real nice even if ya sad. really. he juz got that tongue that can make u awww and want to hug him and stuff. yes! even as a guy! he's very good. so girls. if ever he gets his eyes on ya, dun let him run! really! kiwi has interest in someone for now as he said. hmm. if ya the one, hope u get wad he's trying to show to u and stuff! dun hesitate, keep him at ur side at least. =)) he's someone way to good to let go. nice guy, nice fren, and everything. to me, kiwi, my best buddy, ROCKS! you go hunk!

everything's gonna come to an end. you and me, i hope will somehow still stay together. 2 person as 1.

ps: oh ya. MWC and IND rocks in my opinion! i love my LT. hope school starts, the freshmen will still say hi to me. =D

I LOVE IND! I LOVE MWC! I LOVE IT! I LOVE CENTIS! I LOVE FOC! I LOVE FRESHIE! I LOVE GL! I LOVE MAIN COMM! I LOVE TP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS to all those who made my 2 weeks b4 school starts wonderful. ppl in centis and MWC esp. u guys rocks my socks! thanks for everything. i'll miss you guys. =D

2006-04-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

oreitation. hmm. was kinda happy that IND is so on though i'm in charge of MWC de. >< today went arnd crashing alot LTs. IND rocks the most. xD so many ppl. hahas! IND rocks! oh well. while i was doing those i am supposed to do. i suddenly tot of her. hmm. i wonder y too. wondering how is she doing as an sl and stuff. hmm.

i still cant seem to get a peace of my mind. even with the tough workload today which drained the hell out of me. i'm lyk hello? closing my eyes to type this blog entry rite now. >< so damm tired lahs!

ya. was kinda disappointed cos my ol i taking all buay on. push to me and ron to do. hais... sad case. oh well. at least i gave my best. thanks to all LT heads and main comm ppl hu gave me encouragement by clapping for me and said a job well done. for the first time in months, i felt appreciated. its been sucha hell of a long time since i was appreciated for wad i do. ><

oh well. after the debrief. msged her if she wants go dinner together anot. but she already went to cs to eat with her friends le. so its ok. was kinda looking forward to stuffs that can make me happy. my music stuffs aint going that well already. i guess i'm so 'luo po' until such small stuffs lyk dinner together can make me happy le. ><

yeah. went tm with my friends instead but she say she sians so take bus home le. was super tired so slept in the bus and i overshot. lucky is a loop ride. >< phew. yeah. kinda tot of her again and stuff. =x msged her a little but hahas. no reply der. nbm lahs. sleep till my stop. went home. online. mass chat. talked to her she say can dun tok to me mahs. cos alot window. so. oh well. no choice. tot can come home quickly online den can talk de. mei xiang dao. oh well. lan lan bahs. went to bathe and tada, here i am now. -_-

yuting. paradigm shift. says:
hmm but if u've decidded to wait u also shld expect mroe of these kind of thingss

she gave me this line. and i agree. i'm willing to make sacrifices so. all these hope are worthwhile bahs. damm tired. so i'll end here. hope day 2 of oreitation will be much more fun..

a smile on your face brings so much joy to me.
i wanna make my world your smile
and hope to make your world, my smile
<3 and on

2006-04-20T01:33:00.000+08:00

<3

and i often wonder. wad else can i do? hmmm

went ps again to play the new song. hand got blister very pain. hais. thats another bad thing for the month come to tink of it. wads wrong with april! fool-ed too many ppl le? ><

kinda got out of mood so went arnd to walk on my own. ppl watch. plain walking with no sense of where i shld go. so many things rush thru my head at that moment.

wad if this and that. what if that and this. will this ever happen? will that happen? gosh. tt moment of time all i needed was to chill. come to think of it. i tink i'm the weakless link. >< oh well. see how things can downgrade a person so much? i said i wanna change. bud wad is holding me back? the sense of sincerity lyk u said once? every line u said i remembered. and i'm trying hard to do it. even the lightest glimmer of hope i'm still banging on. i really am serious. it pains to see me how much u've gone thru. but all i can is to take step by step to know u more. to prove and show that i really mean wad i said. and yes yuting. i tink thats the answer. moment of rash? i dunno. all i noe i've been fallen deeply into ur eyes. those eyes of urs can melt me. everything of you seems lyk a wonderful picture to me. so even the slightest glimmer of shining ray that could make you, a person hu u said will not be easily move, move, i'm willing to try. i'm willing to wait. my live has been given to u. someday i'll pluck out that courage in me. yes. i can do it.

<3ing u more each day
missing u more each day

god made gaps in our fingers so that another hand can fill it in.
even the slightest bit of courage to confess can spark the flame to a long lasting love

mesmerized by you

2006-04-19T11:59:00.000+08:00

i jus somehow feel lyk blogging again. its nth much. juz to get somethings off my heart i guess. i dunno how to tink. damm. i nid directions and stuff but hell. i want someone to tok to. argh. crap ass!

ok. juz feel lyk typing. >< tian ah.

every msg that comes to my phone. every ringtone. the first thing that drag thru was u. gosh. am i so lang bei until this state? i seem to be desperate sia. i shld do smth and carry on with life. i dowan be a whine baby anymore! yeah! i shld! >< tts wad i reflected on thru the nite. lex, u can do it. dun feel inferior! everyone does have a chance! its juz how u do and carry it. learn from setbacks and march towards the future. even the biggest mountain can be moved.

watch out ppl. for lex is coming! believe it or not. when i put my heart into something, success is for sure!

ppl hu noes. hmm. i aint gonna be shy or stuff no more! i wanna be a big man hu dares to say things out and not whine in a corner no more! say me or wad bahs! lex is a change guy, watch out! ><

2006-04-19T03:44:00.000+08:00

sad yet memories

and today morning went back to tp for packing day. in the end it sounds more lyk cheering day for me. =.= yeah. den went for centis outing soon after. reached at 4. went to a jap restaurant to find them. oh well. yeah. played pool. my skills deproved lyk shit already. its really crap mans! ><

hahas. now almost everyone in my empire noes abt my blog. so i gotta be careful of wad i type le. in case anything anyhow go out again. =x cannot put personal feelings here sia. trouble. but i lazy make sub-blog sia. oh well. suan le nbm. >< she came abt 6 i tink. oh well. yeah. remained quite ok lahs. hahas. anyway, i keep tell myself to enjoy the day. muz. cos this maybe the last we can come out together le. for quite sometime that is. hmm. sabo-ed by freshies to take picture. hmm. they all ah... bwg. bud ye hao la. at least memories do remains. but i dun have the picture oso. =x LOLS. so nbm. =x

went to ljs eat. oh well. the distance was kinda far or smth. its either i'm too shy to do anything or if i dun have confidence in myself. >< heard from binbin, seems lyk i'm up with quite alot of ppl. hmm. its hard lahs. for a scorpio. have kinda a inferior complexity in me or smth. other seems to juz click and there she goes. enjoying. oh well. i'm a noob in this kinda things to get it get going. maybe juz blame scorpios hu only believes in love at first sight bahs.

forget it. lex, ya really kinda argh. no words for you. >< got somehow lighten up after a movie. somethings cropped up and stuffs so remained quiet for quite sometime. oh well. the distance is still kinda far. how i miss those times instead. =(( lex! do smth can! ya lyk practically wasting airspace! do smth if u want to achieve something! yet somehow y do i get the feeling that if someone dun open even the slightest space of her door for you, you can do nth. does that implies to us?

my dear yuting gave me good advices. so did maybelin. they ask me to juz say la. instead of juz typing here and stuff. but how can a scorpio do things lyk that? juz so not me. will only do when i have confidence. crap! i need to change. i'm willing. but how? god knows. i guess this outing is worthwhile afterall.. hope everything goes fine. i've been coping up for ages. maybe its time? bud will it succeed?

sms-es are getting shorter and lesser. time talking too. how i wish i got the x-factor lyk most guys. machiam magnet. lols! i feel i'm whining too much. i'm taking some break to think thru. i hope somehow if i can do it, the answer is positive. please! someone bless me. listen to my prayers for i hope someday my dreams will come true..

somehow this song came into me. expresses my feelings now so much. thats y the lyrics are here together with the change of blog song. it really says my heart out sia. perfect! till den...

deng dai qi ji de chu xian. i may not be the most popular guys arnd, i may not have the cute, the shuainess, the fun and stuff. but i believe in believing. and i hope you too. ARGH! LEX STOP WHINING AND GO AND SLEEP AND REFLECT! STUPID RETARD MUTTON BABY WHINNER! shoo!

i<3u xxxx =))

ps: use encoding if you guys cant read. =D

(女) 有多少人在旁边　我们都视而不见
　　　彼此却忍不住多看几眼　感觉强烈
(女) 已经微笑的放电　已经暗示到极限
　　　没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间　幸福就飘过面前
(男) 我平凡无奇而你　像灿烂星星　让我担心
(合) 明明很爱你　明明想靠近
(男) 但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
　　我凭什么一一打败情敌　敢大声说要做(你的唯一)
(合) 明明很爱你　明明想靠近　(明明很爱我　明明想靠近)
　　为什么还要再浪费时间不把你抱紧
　　 (为什么还要再浪费时间不把我抱紧)
　　够真心　才是最厉害的武器(够真心　就是最厉害的武器)
　　我会拼命让你更满意(你要拼命让我更满意)
(女) 讲配不配太俗气　说爱不爱要问心
　　爱由我们自己决定不必理　跌破谁的眼镜

2006-04-18T02:44:00.000+08:00

=((

everything seems to be falling into pieces. the puzzle i once tot could be completed. how come i have such a bad feeling? izzit me or is it juz the feeling i really feel. they say scorpios can sense ppl's thoughts quite well. so wad is this thought i'm feeling?

deep inside i'm lying to myself everyday that patience will pay. but in realistic. will it? something i shld reflect upon. all these i done. i know it aint much. but at least it do comes frm within my heart. its been so hard catching up with you. everytime i so wanted to blurt everything out. but somehow i have the feeling the person u want aint me. i dowan to strain our relationship too. wad if one day you'll totally ignore me?

but how can i hide my feelings? i really want to let you know. but will ya? it somehows remain a mystery how deep i fell into loving juz a single person lyk u. it somehows also does amaze me. if only i could hold u in my arms. i would never let that grip go for this is wad love really is to me.

i want to know. i want to fall hopelessly and deeply in ur love. but are you thinking abt the same? hu noes? a smile on my face is a must everyday. thats wad i told myself. even the sky were to crash, i'll still smile. for at least a little bit of that could bring a smile to you. i'm ready to give my all. show me the way. i want to know.

please someone up there, help me..

2006-04-16T18:58:00.000+08:00

FOC 06/07~!

and finally lyk 3 more days of camp is over. gosh. how i miss those 6 days i spent in school can. had fun, tears and sweat. those close times with the freshie i had. its so enjoyable. ^^ so sad everything have to end someday. centis will not have sucha great bond anymore again. oh well. those stations and stuffs. those games and cheers. i really feel so home to centis with alvin, yiling and yuting storming the front for centis. thanks for everything FAs and HGL! =D really love everyone to bits! the FAs, HGLs, fellow GL mates, centis, mantis, spydra, beenox and antor, main com, subcom and everyone involved. you guys rocks!

to centis: you've made me feel belong. somewhere i can rest my heart into for at least another yr. these memories we share, the sweat we gave into everything together. i will really miss you guys..

oh well. camp was great. jam and hop, dancing queen, manhunt and stuffs. made so many new freshies. they were all so great. centis esp. the freshies were nice and on. girls were nice looking so were the guys. yeah.. shant touch much oso. felt i needed some rest on the 3rd day so rested a little. lols! sorry cenbu but i cant join u guys for the carnival games. =)) final clash was nice too. told the freashie to kill their own flag if they were dying. and they really did! nice one freashie! lols!

the sad 1
gonna miss everyone in centis. this morning is the last time we can spend together already as a whole empire cheering and stuff.. these will be part of my centis memories and i hope if we see each other in school, at least we can say hi and stuff. =))

the sad 2
gls.. the ones i spend the most times with.. since FOC till now.. we came a long way from there. still remembering i went for GLs interview. how i got so happy when i knew i was in. the OTC which i came to know of centis. the ALP, flag day and stuff. we did so many things together. den came FOC/FOW. those voice and sweat we gave together to see our freshies get together. its something so sweet and stuff. hope we'll get together sometime again. cos i'm really gonna miss you guys. the chao ah gang and stuff too. hais. y does it got to end? T.T

the sad 3
to someone: these 5 months since OTC was great. since knowing you from day 2 of OTC where me and u paired up when playing the tie foot game at glen's station, i felt that sensation. till now i cant forget that day. you've been my crush since den on. during these 5 months, my heart swavered from here to there. bud none could make me settle down. i tried forgetting by not talking to ya. get myself open more to girls and stuff. but this FOW/FOC seems to much. even the girl i tot could make me jelly gave wad every girl would have gave me. none ever liked me i would say. oh well.. but to you. FOW/FOC is really 6 days i wished would never end. seeing you everyday. jumping here and there. those cute stuffs u do. everything you did. oh gosh. its just simply melts me. when u lost your voice, i was kinda pained though. but its ok. to u, i may juz be something. but to me, you're everything. thats wad i feel even more during these 6 days. and it has ended. i wont be seeing you in school for the 2nd yr anymore. for you'll be gone to sentosa or smth. bud i hope if ever there's a gathering, hope i can see u. =)) hais. really sad. those times we slept juz next to each other. not really next la. but close. those stupids words and gaze. all ended. but it will not be gone. i will look back and remember those times we had. holding you in my arms when we played that station game in OTC. sat together and ate. serving food and stuff. you may never know or believe in me but at least the thing i an say is i've fallen for you. argh!

damm! y am i being all so sad again? izzit becos u said none have ever win you if u dun lyk the person? only 1 did? i feel so inferior. hais. anyway, i hope to see u again. and i really hope the OTC, FOW/FOC days will come sooner. juz a few hours and i'm missing you. =((

WO AI SHANG NI LE! ><
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx =P

[edit] sia la... got ppl noe my blog liaos. must becareful how i type le. =x [/edit]

2006-04-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

FOW!

sorry guys for the lack of update! i'm still having camp! bud today special can go home for the night! so i'm here to update awhile! TP freshies camp aka FOW/FOC! it is a blast! FOW juz ended on a high note and i'll sure miss all the new yr 1 i meet in this camp! tml is FOC! LOLS! cant wait! lols! more tp students to noe and stuff! i muz blast for the 3 days! lols!

gosh! i cant wait la! damm! someone! lols! anyway, these 3 days, i really kinda confirmed my feelings or wadsoeva and stuff. i dunno y bud the way i feel is coming back. lyk jealousy and stuff. being close and stuff. hahas. but soon it will all be gone. hais. after these 3 days we'll somehow part and i dun really want it to happen. =(( oh well. juz plain looking at you trying to sleep at nite, sleeping at nite and falling asleep can keep me awake for lyk 2 hrs? glance and glimpse. tt kept me away. ppl may juz see u as a girl sleeping. but to me. its lyk an angel. hahas!

eh lex wake up la u chao ah beng. ur way of style tt u lyk is not working for ppl arnd u! >< how can the one u see for 4 months or so le will catch ur eye? wake up la! *slaps lex awake* argh. its ok, its alright, lex will fight, fight, fight! xD

ok la. my sub empire for fow is cenbu, and they totally rocks! gagon! is tt how u spell his name? lols. simply, cenbu rocks la! centis rocks la! gl rocks la! freshie rocks la! FOW ROCKS LA! LOLS! high high! xD

still nid pack bag and erh sleep early. tough day tml. bud i'll be more extrovert tml. xD
time will pass, history will be made. the times we had and spent will be in our memories. but will our future stands a chance? or gradually we'll juz be strangers walking our path? i wan your hug, i wan ur kisses, i wan your love, i simply juz want.. you..

still missing you. dowan FOC 3rd day to end..
mission: take a 1-1 photo with you alone. =))

2006-04-05T02:54:00.000+08:00

friends?

sometimes you really wonder how much has life changed since your sec school days. one day you're whining how much u want to leave school, the next day u whine on how much u want to be back in. ><

yeah. the frens i made in my sec school days were memorial. they were old-school. yeah. OLD-SCHOOL! we did things together. had fun together. crapped and stuff. some even swore to keep in contact and stuff. some become good brothers and sisters. some left great scars and memories with you. like having a closer relationship with each other.

but as time goes all had their lifes and slowly the quieter one or busier ones are left out. yeah. it do happens. those fellowship and unique relationships, i still remember. those crazy moments. anger and smiles. soccer together anyone? go pool? aiya! pon tang la! those were the old-school lines.

but now, as i look back i regretted spending so much time in TP stuffs instead that i feel i lost some real important things in my life. contacts-

somehow or rather, i still miss my frenz back in sec school. often sending i-still-remember-you msg but sometimes non came back in return. so as time went by, strangers relationships built up. some wont even noe u anymore if you see them. they'll juz ignore u straight or juz do-i-know-you?

thats how bad things can turn out to be. often i go to my frenz blog and check out how they are doing. often its smiles and anger. which shows they're still doing fine. popping by with hi and stuff but sadly, you're thrown aside as if its an annoymous post. so ya. thats how time and distance can pull ppl apart.

but at least i noe, my frenz are doing fine and are happy. at least i'm contented with that. for this, my heart is at peace. =) to all my long lost friends: take care alright? i may not be there always for time to go, but remember at least my heart still remember you guys. =))

argh- y am i being sucha emo guy nowadays. -.- i gotta loosen up abit! nid really some BREAK! >< not holidays bud some real BREAKS! ><

1 more day. =)) tian ah. i cant get you off my head. but do you noe? u insist on being friends though u nv say it out. oh well, i'm still here. waiting. =))

its hard losing someone close to you, but its even harder forgetting someone hu made an impact to your life and left or is not with you. tears

2006-04-03T13:59:00.000+08:00

<3, miss, friends

nth to blog really. life is repeating. went alp only. got a slight sunburn on my nose? aint painful though. =x

yeah. juz that all. i miss you so. really that much. if only you knew. bud somehow wad u gave me is those friends friends stuff in return. i wan more. i wan you to be mine. i wan to embrace you. i wan to spend all my happy times with you. so that you'll be happy too. i wan... you. =))

xt wads getting in me! gr!!!

2006-03-31T02:05:00.000+08:00

and great. haven been really much exercising my body parts. argh! only my hands and my legs cos i'm drumming. lols! bud i will. muz make it a point! i can do it! xD excercise! *plays the ska ska no1 song* lols! followed by *get it all*

hahas! damm! i really need to improve. i feel that my guitar and my drum skills have been deproving ever since i go bugis and spam long songs. =x ARGH! i feel so erh. lousy! hahas! anyway, life is as per normal.

today going home tt time. saw a girl. she's from my school. hmm. bud is AS de. often see her on 23. got one time talk to her. cos i alighting so ask her if she wants to sit. bud hu knows, she alight at the next stop. lols! a stop before mine to be exact. lols. so today saw her. she gave me a i-know-you-and-hi look to me. and i gave her i-know-you-and-hi de look. lols. ok la. she's kinda nice-looking in my point of view. those girls with attitude and stuff. hahas! she was with her boyfriend so dinda bother much. and pinky can say, i find her familar! lyk =.= LOLS!

moving on. nth much. suzy and the time machine and Riff Riff Orbit keep looping in my head! i cant get them off my head! lols! those songs rocks sia. whenever i play them i juz get high. oh ya. did i mention heaven's inside also? LOLS! i juz learn jamming. xD that beat! no! its coming back! lols!

ok. here's a request from my fren... he ask me post this. so here it goes.

my ideal girlfriend
- i look out for arms with least fats dangling. dun ask me y. its juz me. =x
- no tummy popping out please. =x i kinda dun lyk tt when hugging. ><
- attitude! bud not ah lian attitude please
- anti-smokers!
- dress up to the current fashion. not those everyday shirts and pants. =x i wan a style girlfriend!
- bitchy in a good way. bud not those sa pa por.
- active and sporty type! best is into music
- willing to sacrifice for each other cos i will
- sweet and cute. pretty not really into it
- if she could dance.... LOLS! (optional though)
- INTO love.
- styled short hair or long hair. no half half. lols!
- will pick a fight with me for nth. those for fun fight.
- loves to hug and kiss. =)) cos i love both. lols!
- willing to spend time together
- below my height
- range 15-18 =)) xD

i guess thats abt all. nah. i write out le! i want see urs hors! xD abt all. tata guys. ALP, FOC/FOW coming and i'm all excited. xD nites!

2006-03-28T22:56:00.000+08:00

schedule

ok. i put my heart to it liaos. i wan to maintain my fitness and exercise!

here's my resolution before school starts. xD

Part 1 - Skeleton schedule
1) drink more milo if possible
2) do no tbe picky on food
3) eat in variety and poportion
4) excersise everyday or every alternate days
5) make a point to run at least 2km 3 times a week
6) walk to destination instead of bus if reasonable
7) build up!!!!!
8) cut on food with visable fats

Part 2 - detailed planning
for exercise
- 100 pumpings on exercise day
- 100 situps on exercise day
- 100 dumbell lift on biceps and triceps on exercise day
- 50 chest lift with dumbell on exercise day
- double paddling training for 5 minutes (2 sets) on exercise day
- 4 sets of 5 pull up. will increase to 5 sets of 10 (need get back my original fitness) on exercise day
- running cannot stop and rest on exercise day

there you go. i will fufill this thing by hook or by crook! xD i wan to be fit. hahas. cos ppl keep complain i too skinny. >< not i wan mahs. hahas. is my forearm looks skinny cos my wrist a little small. bud its ok. hope all these training can prepare me for my double paddling stamina in drums. lols! =P

tml bugis with virusz. he wants a makeover. lols! peii him lor. lols. off to bed now! healthy lifestyle states i can sleep late! its 3.37 now so its early! i muz sleep early! =x LOLS! lame la lex. tataz guys!

ps: oh ya did i mention i'm addicted to 7-11 mashed potato? lols!

the feeling i feel
it seems to be flowing back into me
y cant i give up for good?
y muz things go so good when i've decided?
maybe i need iron will training?

i long to see you
i love that feeling
its you i see
my path is blocked
blocked by you..

2006-03-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

shhhh

ok. sorry for the lag of update again. lols. nth much to blog anyway. juz here and there. moodless these few days. suddenly got tired of DM and stuff and gave up easily. where has my determination gone to? damm!

oh well, as i said was feeling quite moodless. i wonder y too. izzit because of these or becos of that? this, that. lala~ =.=

ok. went for a late night show on fri to watch V for vendetta or how u spell it. its a marvelous show mans! not to be missed! XD its funnie, nice plot and action. gosh! and the music is so cute! hahas! MUZ watch. cos it'll make you remember 5th of november. lols! its something in the show la. bud so qiao, ITS MY BDAY TOO! SO EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER 5th of NOVEMBER! LOLS!

hmm. tots of the mine, wad is shown is wad is reality. no use changing wad is meant to be. sometimes iron will helps bud mostly it does not. when it does, its miracle.

安靜

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴安靜的舊舊的

我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道你沒有捨不得

你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
希望他是真的比我還要愛你
我才會逼自己離開

你要我說多難堪我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份包容你也接受他
不用擔心的太多我會一直好好過
你已經遠遠離開我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你是因為我太愛你

somehow this song stuck in my head again and i wonder y. the sadness somehow juz describes everything. dun ask me. i hate myself sometimes for thinking this way.

oh ya. i'm 18 this yr and y muz my mother still make me report most things to her! argh! boys will become bad easier? damm! if i wan become bad i wouldn't have turned good. zzz

nites all..
ps: turn on encoding if u all cant read the words.

[edit]
i came across my friends blog hu is a girl. this was in her entry.

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

and i tot. aint i always do and say that to the girl i lyk? =x LOLS. y cant i find mine if girls want guys to do all these? ok i'm mad. lols!
[/edit]

2006-03-24T09:20:00.000+08:00

BLACK OUT!

ok. some updates on my chalet... hmm..

day1
nth much though. checked in, settle down, played my own laptop and ps2.

day2
nth much oso. learned how to play naruto on ps2 and went to see the animations on all the special of the characters. xD ITACHI's SHARINGAN IS WAY TOO COOL! LOLS! moving on.. played mahjong here and there. LOLS. zi mo 4 games in a row which somehow ended xi to nan feng. lols. until i zhuang i nv zi mo. ZZZZZZz! nbm. wanted to rent bike bud was always 1 hr late. LOLS! went to visit the arcade. hands itchy so went to destress by playing 10th mix! the bloody cymbal is spoiled again. T.T LOLS!

at nite watched allen play fatal frame 3 lyk the first nite. scary game to play sia. bud it was fun. xD

day3
erh. packed up. guys sat down waiting for ping and the others to come. talked alot cock abt b***** and stuff. hahas! =x lame la. but worth revising. =x

yeah. tt somehow sums up my chalet days. 3 days away frm home, tired, stressed out and erh. make my hands more itchy? LOLS! i'm going DBG to try out black out! they say its damm nice to play! argh. damm. I WANT TO PLAY!!!!!! hahas! =x

some things are better left unsaid
i made some mistakes
the things that will nv rewind
are the things said

did i make a wrong move
yet again?
i definitely hope not
for scorpios know how to love
but not how to show

i wish somehow i can find someone
someone hu i can spill everything out to
18 yrs and not even 1 appeared
some came and went
juz lyk the passing wind
friends made bud none i feel comfortable
to say my inner world to them

relationships come
bud somehow none make me wanna say
i found some
bud they were juz distant

if only the sun rises from the west.
if only i can have-a-mind
if only you were mine

=)) till den! time to prepare for mass DBG madness! =x

2006-03-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

short update

will be updating a long one soon. have been away to chalet for the past 3 days. hmm. chalet was kinda boring. ><

yeah. nth much. others i will update real soon. tired sia. lols.

every step i take
i look out for you
its been quite somewhile
i had this feeling
i've tried to do smth that wasnt me
i know it'll fail
i know it'll hurt
but is all to let you know

i had bad past
and i wan to make up for that
nan dao lao tian jiu wont give me ma?
its hard holding you
loving you

if i ever do can make it there
would you ever tell me?
i wanna fall in love
deeply and greatly
and the girl
would be... you. :)

2006-03-19T03:10:00.001+08:00

wooo~ today was kinda ok. GF sp went up so did DM. xD ok now let me see.. this past few days i actually wan blog. bud the stupid blogger got problems so cannot. nth much oso. juz playing and doin wad i do. xD

ok got some things to get off my chest. hmm
1st
A BIG SORRY TO RICE/DREAMAR. i dinda noe u cant take jokes well or if u cant differiate between jokes and real meaning. if ya angry still, i got nth to say but i've said my piece.

2nd
i wan to achieve my target in drums and guitar!
DM: 1050.xx/1100
GF: 1003.xx/1050

3rd
ok. i dunno wad to say. bud its back to the old me. does g****i takes things for granted ne? does g****i takes the first initiative? i dunno sia. i asked for 2nd opinion and the answer is yes. takes for granted. and yes if g****i lyks the things alot, g****i will take the first initiative.

and so i'm confuse. really. i hate (not really hate la. juz hope will not have this thing) ppl that takes things for granted. because lyk tt they will nv appreciative things that are arnd them. i wan someone hu will appreciative things i do. lover or friends. to me, things are both sided. takes 2 hands to clap. if i can sacrifice, y cant the person?

and yes. i LOVE ppl hu takes the first initiative cos i do first. juz that scorpio lyk me does not dare take when it comes to love. they somehow beat arnd the bush and tries to tell indirectly. its juz so not me to spit everything out. yes, scorpios will only when they are 100 sure it will succeed. bud if the answer is yes i dun see the initiative coming out frm g****i. >< and the second person i ask says unless g****i likes the thing alot. maybe cos there's no lyk? i supposed thats the answer. it may not seems so bud to me i tink i gave away my hints and stuffs in a super-duh~ way. =x yet if g****i only takes initiative to ask you is this that and stuff when g****i likes that thing alot, this shows only 1 thing. there's no like between g****i and me. yeah. i guess thats it. its hard change a person liking. its juz so not me. for the past i tried and i noe i suck. y do i always meet with this things? argh..

4th
and thanks the ppl hu said welcome me back ah. thanks alot. i dun remember seeing you guys even remembering to call me along when there's something on which i noe only when someone told me eh? lyk a week ago? thanks again ah friends. =)) love you guys to bits.

i'm freaking tired of most things now again. lucky its the holidays and there's no sch work. if not i juz die. dammit. i hope someone understands me. i hope someone loves me. ><

oh ya.
5th. last one for now i guess
i am officially JEALOUS of loving couples! lols! dun be offended though. xD be happy cos i want to see loving couples. i'm juz jealous cos i'll always be unable be that loving. nth comes my way...

stop spinning me in circles, dun break my heart. you know i cant live without you..

2006-03-19T03:10:00.000+08:00

blogging... again

yeah. sorry guys. took some time to update. i'm kinda tired ti blog. hahas. nth much also. tues! went to CCK! lols! gosh there is a paradise sia! satisfy my fetish alot! hahas. its been a long time since i went there. hahas! FC-ed wasuremono there also. hahas! so fun la CCK. hahas. met my gan meii there too. walao. changed so much. see how time can change one person. hmmm. lols! i'll visit CCK again. it really rocks la can!

wed stoned at home tabbing out songs for thurs jamming. hahas hard kinda a hard time bud i'm going to train my ears. hahas. muz pick up every type of note. hahas! =P anyway, yest was jamming. cool! damm cool! jerry! dun blame urself for screwing. xD i screwed up some parts too. hahas. guess more practice is needed? LOLS! after jamming went to dbg. bud no one there cept shouji. in da end, sky came so did rice. so we decided to go bugis. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! BUGIS ROCKS! hahas. played nth there in the first place. went to walk alone first and it rocks again. xD i dunno y. bud i tink bugis is the in place to be now. hahas. nice looking girls, 8/10 DM set, 1 long = 1 short setting. wooo~!

and today... BUGIS HERE I COME! xD watch out! bud i wan shouji's stick. T.T

2006-03-14T03:59:00.000+08:00

special

impression plays a big part in life
followed by how you handle things
lastly, the guts to carry them out

i lack of the ability to handle things perfectly
i lack of the guts to carry things out

therefore i cant achieve anything.

all i can do is...
wait
wait
wait
wait

was kinda happy my guitarfreaks is now 1000.87 in terms of sp. bud somethings juz spoiled my mood. aint wan to elaborate much. no more of a use anymore.

my drummania is stagnent at 1044.70 in terms of sp. something makes me dont want to fight for sp. something kills my mood yet again. i'll get back when i get my mood back.

i'm crazing for you, i'm crazy for you. wad can i do.. i'm crazy for you...
today is the day we finally first talk. though it seems lyk ya breezing thru, i believe one day we'll hit off real fine. =)) waiting for you, waiting for you.. wad can i do, i'm waiting for you.. =x

tml is a trip to cck. west side and north side xmm, here i come! xD hope my mood gets better later. =))

2006-03-13T04:31:00.000+08:00

OLTC camp 06'

ok. firstly, sorry for the lack of update. =)) anyway, yeah. back frm camp and this week is the march holidays! woots! tt means, sec school ppl are out to play! hahas! forget it. its 1 in a 2.5 million chance we will meet. ><

yeah. back frm camp so i'll roughly go thru wad has happened.

Day 1
went to camp sleepily on day 1. was kinda bored la. lols! changed grp as the grps are not even due to some hu nv come. empire to be exact. anyway, landed in viledian. alright. the ppl there treated me quite good when i joined. xD so started to mix arnd and stuffs. yeah. was still kinda sleepy thru the day. can sleep jiu sleep tt type. my FA was ahfat and korn. lols. had great fun with them. =)) day 1 passed kinda fast with me, xiang and knnth playing DM games thru the night. lols! level of song, song starting with are letters. in the end got real tired at 3+ and fell asleep. woke up at 6+ though. oh ya. i muz mention. the night walk is cool! the best i ever had. they say sure got 1 or 2 places i nv been in TP. i doubted it. in da end, i really got to a place i've nv seen b4. the coffin hse. =)) was cool of the program comm to dress and scared ppl. i wasnt scared though. kinda got used to it. xD

Day 2
needless to say. day 2 was as tired as day 1. got the water games. yeah. got myself all wet and stuff. did i mention? the food were all superb! damm! best food in camp i ate so far apart from OTC. xD neways, yeah. participated here and there. provided some cheers and stuffs. dinda really wanna contribute much though ah fat seems to have high expection of my as i've been to OTC and stuff. i guides blah blah. but i wan others to fa hui themselves too! so kept somewhat tired and got myself some rest when possible. lols! had our performance night on Day 2 too. was a blast man! how i wish i asked someone to record it down. lols! i tot of the title of the performance and it seems to attract everyone. A Gay's Tale was the title. xD i acted as a SM gay guy hu lyks to perform violent u noe on guys. xD there's censorship provided anyway. =P yeah. tts abt all. dinda play real much at night and i knocked out after i lied on the floor to sleep. =x woops. i tink i'm the guy hu sleeps the most in this camp.

Day 3
ok. day 3 kinda slack. woke up at 7+ washed up and move the tables in the tutorial room back to its original place. this is supposed to replace the morning PT. ok. den went to LT. had cheers practice and stuff. lols. and there i was resting as much as i could. xD bud somehow, after i kana called to go play a lame game, i got my energy back and participated. xD yeah. cheered and stuff. budden later they got a mini karaoke session and i fell asleep. =x lunch was spagatti. yum yum! xD den back to cheers again. was fully awake so cheered lor. den final clash. xD i dunno wads got into me. xD i was hailed as the eh. dunno wad la. cos i keep dodging the water bombs lyk nobody's business. weaved here and there. =x lols. no one hit me till the very end. i tink i dodged at least 10 plus water bomb. lols! i sank 3 empires down. xD was on final clash form. eeeehha! hahas! oh well, soon i wont be able to play final clash as a participant le. lols! after final clash was debrief and stuff. YAY! viledian won the best empire and the best performance night empire. xD was so happy cos alot tibits to eat. xD woooo~ had individual debrief. was filled with emotions and laughter lahs. really, this is one of the best camps i've ever been. i was even chosen to be LT head for the upcoming week 0 orientation. oh man. i wish i can be LT head for my own course de. >< thanks everyone hu had fun with me in camp. made lotsa new friends too. =))

pity some are year 3 and i wont be seeing them le. man... hope to get in contact too. =)) till den. nites guys! will be cutting my precious hair. =((

waiting is part of the winning stradegy of the game

2006-03-08T04:41:00.000+08:00

decision

came back frm chalet this afternoon. had fun. =)) really want a longer chalet soon. >< yeah! 20-22 march that is. anyway, hours later will be my orientation camp training. hope it goes out fine. cant wait. =P

yeah. needa get some rest. and i think chelsea will lose. so will juventus. >< barca's football is simply superb. gotta sleep. aint want to watch yet another half. *yawns*

nites guys. will not be blooging. will come back either on fri and sat. and i'm still lazy to edit the videos. till den. tata!

i'm still waiting. still mesmerised. was so sad when u came into tt acc bud i was away. nonetheless, i'm still waiting for the chance to get to know ya. hope fate comes knocking soon

and oh ya. most ppl say i nid cut and change my hair. hu ask me to be so self-conscious. will be changing my hair style soon. after my camp i tink. means i muz redye? the hair i've kept for lyk 10 months? argh. life's hard. bud with you as my forward goal, nth's impossible. T****. =))

and i've finally made a decision. i know where i'm heading. i've been lost for quite some time and the first impression you gave me, led me to the entrance of my maze. <3

2006-03-05T04:04:00.000+08:00

drew's bday

WOOOO~ today was damm wild~! i shall cut short everything and go straight to the wild parts. xD bud i muz first say. today i received 7 stares on my hair. =.= ok den. NEXT~ ANDREW'S BDAY BASH! xD

first. kelvin buah the mac ice cream on drew. helpless, i tink alex started pouring water. xD after 10 minutes or so. u tink its over? NO! its me and virus turn! BUAH ICE CREAM AGAIN! LOLS! ok. chasing arnd was normal. LOLS! ppl tot we are mad. LOLS! bud the whole gang was so hyped up! LOLS.

ok. here comes the part. i nv got caught. budden junrong. grrr. he grabbed me from behind to play and say: come come! ok. drew really came. ah~ i noe i die le. cos whole day i protecting my hair. so everyone started buahing my hair. my precious hair. i was pinned down by drew's body slam (with ice cream + water =x oh and sweat) and alex so called ankle lock. i guess he's hugging my leg and sleeping. diao -_-"" hahas!

neways. i got a small cut at my elbow when i protecting my hp. =x ok next. virus got caught while we planned to have a decoy. hahas! was body slam lightly again. =x poor me. hahas den drew suddenly got whole of virus. xD VIRUS IS SCARED OF TICKLES! ok. so he was pinned down by drew holding his hands, and thats alex again hugging his leg supposedly doing an ankle lock. =.= LOLS! as i said, i tink his arsenal only got ankle lock. LOLS! and here comes my role. xD i tickled virus! not me only la. got others. and he got high! xD

virus is really poor thing. second rave went onto him. poor virus. hahas. this time i got my dcam out. xD recorded video on him. WOHO! they carry him to a place with light for my dcam and started buahing his 'bird' to a street sign. xD all down in a video. xD woo~!

ok la. was damm fun with lotsa funnie things. after that we went mac sit sit till 3+. lotsa funnie things went on. lols. virus bought fake kunai and throwing stars. so there i was posing as though i'm a maple assasin. xD recorded another stupid video which went quite funnie. lols. LAUGH TILL SIAO AT MAC!! ok. they say i can get the best actor award and terry can get the best supporting award. lols! hmmm... i'm gonna edit the videos. 2 in total. lols. my funnie video which i acted and virus buahing. wait.. 3. i tio buah at a lamp post oso. =.= terry caught that on tape. i went high though after that. lols! damm! naruto is into me. i said alot of naruto stuff and did alot of naruto things. SIAM no jutsu and those. damm wild lahs. lols.

everything came to an end too. xD on the way to the bus stop, i acted drunk. LOLS. said stupid things. =x lols! i noe myself. oh well, i guess i relieve myself real alot today and i feel so much better. =)) i guess no one really noes the real face behind this mask. its still u in my mind. >< ARGH! wake up! there's no link here.

LOLS. ok la. enjoyed real much. will post the videos soon i editted and add some effects. it will rock baby! hahas! for now, i will post some stupid pics i took. dun mind 1 pic. they screw my hair up. xD enjoy~! oh ya. look out for youtube after i finish my videos. xD

me before i went out. =.=

drew before the bash

drew after the bash. LOLS!

me trying to be the maple assasin. some edits will be make so look out for it! xD

Stabbed to death! my hair!!! T.T this pic and some other pics will be used into my new movie so for now this is a preview pic of the upcoming movie. xD

LOLS! till den. jana mata mina san(see you all again)!

*evil thoughts, kel's bday next and heard he is scared of tickles. xD*

everything i do, i think of you. i tink a stranger finally caught my heart this deep. if only we could have the fate pulled together to at least noe of each other existence.

oyasumi nasai..

2006-03-04T02:48:00.000+08:00

ya addictive

wooo wee~

lols! today played primal soul long and erh. tizona! is fun mans! and oso, i dinda noe i can play brazillian anthem already! HAHAHA! its juz so fun! though i cant pass tizona. lols! primal soul is tiring!

hmm. alright. go my sp to pass 1035 on my own. onionman uped 4 sp for me lyk nth when he plays my tizona. =.= argh. screwed up card now. ><

anyway, am really tired today. bud is happy ii got into the int ol camp! weee~ being an oreintation leader really makes me feel great. that achievement. hope everything juz go out fine. =))

damm. i dunno wad am i thinking nowadays. y am i so mesmerised by the things you do? damm! i nid to control. bud somehow or rather i cant! is that wad they call the natural attraction? oh well. kinda sad though. still haven heard any news from ya. >< hmm. the first time i saw ur videos, i was lyk. wo. ya really special. in a way that some other ppl caught my eyes in the very first place. the feeling is kinda the same. i really hope can really work sia. its been quite some time since i have this upfeeling. if only fate pulls bahs~

sometimes i wonder if ppl ever stumble into my blog and see that i'm talking these things. oh well. hu cares. its my blog, my rules. i'm da king. =P

DAMM! ~~i cant get ur face off my brains! argh! christie, do smth to me pls!~~

oh ya.. today, the same 2 ppl played with my hair, des and irene. forever one. lols! and 3 strangers commented on my hair. =.= diao. really so outstanding ah? too bad. its me. i feel nice in it. at least they are good comments. recently not much thing to cheer abt ~~cept coming to a fact there's such a you living in this planet earth. its nice watching your videos though. =)) really.~~ hahas! boo~! argh! stop it lex. your chances are lyk 7.23%? boo! ><

k lahs. tml gonna be another tiring day. tataz guys! =)) sleep tite!

2006-03-03T03:49:00.000+08:00

my hair. ><

ok. today went out as usual. i got to say this. =.=

4 ppl commented on my hair when i go out who are not related to me at all. =.=

4 ppl played with my hair. des, irene, joel, charlene. bah~ lols!

ok.
1) an indian in a grp. he said: style ah ur hair. i gave a shrug and walked off. cos. i dun really lyk u noe. =x

2) a grp of girls walking behind me. they intend to talk softly. bud i tink i have good ears. =.=
a: waa his hair
b: ya lor. so long. bet is poly
c: bud nice lehs i tink. juz the back messy
a/b: ok la. i like the dye
c: his hair compared to my dear one, nicer la. my dear so nerd one

ok. i turned arnd acting to look for someone and they started to talk: eh u all want go where first? ok. is my hair really so stand out? =x come to say, one of the girl in the grp is kinda cute. =P lols!

3) a guy who i met in the lift.
him: waa. ur hair take how long style
me: erh.. 10?
him: so fast ah. waaa. i wish i can have your hair style sia. my hair spoil
me: erh ok. my level liaos. bye
him: bye

argh. curse!

4) an old uncle i met while going up the escalator back home.
un: waaa. ur hair. cute huh.
me: *=.= cute. wad a word to use* erh ya.. ok la.. *-.-""""""*
un: my daughter boyfriend cousin also like you. hair anyhow stand.
me: *-.-""""""""""""""""""""* oh ok. he got style. =x
un: no la. he go out sure tio pai kia hoot one. hair anyhow, words anyhow.
me: *-.-""""""""""""""""""""""""""""* oh. ok

and he started talking his grandson in poly. say wad holidays. now in thailand. i was lyk *-.-""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""* i want noe for wad. lols!

argh. so thats sums up my day. and i yet to receive much comments on my blog! ahhh! hahas! oh well, tml or rather later is intsc ol meeting. finally. xD woots~ cant wait for the camp. till den. i hope tml no one comments on my hair anymore. =.=

ah yeah. the hair i was in. something lyk tt. cos the pattern varies on which grain of hair i style. =.= really so much to comment mehs. lols!

side view
front view

2006-03-02T05:00:00.000+08:00

new skin! again. =P

cool. i changed my skin again. comments? hmm. i dun tink its very nice bahs. looks lyk i nid to try harder again. ><

neways, today my papap bring me go open another bank acc. so now i have 2. =.= wadever. den we take train go ps. he bought a new batt for my phone for me. thanks dad! love ya lots! my batt was said to be over-charged. zzz

ya. den this funnie things. my dad wants to buy 4D. so as i bring him go to 7-11 there which sells, we were in the lift. we go in. and soon, the door opened at 2 floor. my dad quickly keep the shading stuffs. i asked him y. and den he said. ps. =.= hahas! typical singaporeans huh dad? =P

yeah. bring him go buy den i go arcade. was on a hyper roll! pushed my sp by 16 today. cool! xD and the new season of chanko is up! =)) double yays! woots! today my 'rival' see my results oso stun. wahahas! oh yeah!

hmmm. since i got my things straighten out, i feel so much more relaxed. and cos i noe, you'll never change ur heart. my 5 years taught me not to believe in such stuffs anymore and i want to follow with my heart. =))

neways, time to sleep! its 5am now. =P long day it shall be tml. nites all. and oh ya. comments pls.

ps: visit youtube. search for videos by jt23. xD nice day! =P

2006-03-01T05:09:00.000+08:00

advive?

ok guys. i noe my skin is screwed up bud hang on. i'm making a new one soon. =)) been busy with making videos btw. one will be coming soon so look out for it! its my first try and i hope i can get it here. =))

anyway, today's topic i shld tok is. love? lols. no la. not some crappy story. anyway, is loving someone hu love someone else wrong? hell no. its perfectly right i guess. not i guess. is it is. bud to an extend.

how would u guys do if u love someone, bud he/she love someone else? painful eh? bud its ok la. one shld have the courage to move on or stay on. by moving on, please dun cheat on other ppl. get ur feelings right. by staying on, make sure every move you take will make him/her feel comfortable and at ease. dun overdo it, that's the bottom line. love bravely, fight bravely. not love bravly and fight silly. there's a limitation to everyone's feeling i notice. and when it hits that limitation, love = hate. so i've noticed mine. i shld stop. its no use going on. guess its time to really move on.

lyk mel's nick. i wan to fall in love, helplessly in love, totally in love. =)) can someone make me do that? shall see.

ps: i still hate you. =.=

quote of the day: they who laugh at me is cause i'm different. Me who laughts at them is cause their the same

nites all. i'll be back with a nice skin! xD oh ya. i noticed. i had 369 posts currently. means this is the 370th post. 369. hen qiao huh. hahas!

2006-02-28T12:39:00.000+08:00

outing and hating

ok. this time i finally wan say it out. =x after reading drew's blog, i believe i shld say it out. damm u hong kong gahkt! =x

ok. remember i said i dun lyk someone a few post back. its him. fine, i still can somehow tolerate u snatching things away, and being gay, bud pls, give some respect to girls/women/ladies or hu ever have the essence of a girl. look into the mirror yourself lyk wad drew says and reflect y u haven got a gf till now. u f***ing treat all girls lyk a eye candy. yes, one or two maybe. bud pls, dun point to every walking past girls and give the disgusted look. let me tell u, ugly i will think its ugly. pretty i will give comments, bud i wont degrade everyone till i will say it out that yucks. keep the words to urself la.

19 years walking on this surface of the year doesn't teach u anything of respect? coming to respect, even we the ppl younger than u needs respect. its by 1 year. and when i say no, dun beg me for it. its a utter disgrace. dun snatch wad aint belongs to you. i swear if u gonna do it again (without asking), i'm freaking going to swear at you.

READ THIS: you made not only 1 guy pissed, there's an army for you. so u better f***ing change your attitude towards us or smth's real bad happening. get your language rite too pls, i cant understand ur english. =.=

oh well, anyway, went out with my class c116 yest. met at orchard at 12. ended up ppl 1 den come. >< ahhhhh. i could have slept more! nbm. i always dunno y i early one when i noe sure will have ppl late. >< so after 1 hr's wait finally we set foot. went cine bought tickets to PINK PANTHER! on da way saw sean and guys. said hi. =))

finished, we ate at long john and took some photos. i was wondering wad is wrong with me having self obsession yesterday. so after lunch, walked arnd and went for the show. its damm funnie la can! lols! after movie, took bus to esplanade, take pics and walk arnd. ok la. crappy pics. i took some videos. xD den nite we went swensens eat. saw kiwi and his class there. waved to him. yandao kia sia. lols! anyway, there's this lady i tink arnd my age which caught my eye. y? cos her eyes are damm nice. lols! oh well~~ moving on, went home after that. was kinda nice la the day, juz some tiredness and sianess. =x woops!

argh. i nid to learn ow to make video stuffs. i juz d/led 3 new softwares juz to do it. so now, my comp is so IT. with stuffs lyk, fireworks, photoshop, dreaweaver, freehand, flash, audiocity, mediaJoin, audio converter, movie converter, virtual dub and stuffs. so many programs. look lyk i nid to improve b4 school start. lols! nid brush up my multimedia skills. =)) till den, bye!

2006-02-27T02:33:00.000+08:00

down symdrome

omg omg! my fren juz gave me a link! this girl is so cute! lols. frm ngee ann sec one. hahas. is lyk, the things she does is cute! hahahas. anyway, *ahem* hahas. was kinda out of mood today. dunno y. no feeling sia. ><

sat went to the asian beat grand finals at taka with nic, chee keen and virus. wasnt in the mood to go, bud still went after they 'pshchoed' me. oh well. was kinda ok. the drummers were damm freaking ultra powerfully superb! sg band was kinda turn off with those kinda rock type again. same few genre. compared to japan, thailand and indonesia. kinda still a long way to go. yeah..

i wonder myself, 17+ years liaos. which path did i take was correct. i tot for so long. am i really wad i shld be? now? or maybe i would be another guy if i took another path. the things i'm doing now is caused by me. so i guess in the end, i'm the one hu is the creator of my life. the one hu decides on my destiny bud not fate.

yeah. was walking back to ps frm taka. on the way saw xiao gong zhu! hahas! so qiao! i was surprised to see her den. she said she went movie and stuff with her friends later on on msn. oh well. kinda quite some time since i last saw her.

today, went for drums lesson. richard aint here, so i guess that guy is anthony replaced him. he let us jam a song called Child's Anthem. ITS SIMPLY SUPERB! gosh. how i wish i could let u all hear. hahas! the song is so wonderful that i played a different beat from the score given. lols! so nice! oh well. same old stuffs. got into a down symdrome later on when i saw some girls. =.= they reminded me of smth in their conversation. suddenly everything juz flooded back into me. aint really in da mood later on and i got tired. oh well. ~~

sometimes i wish i knew myself better. at least i noe wad to do. y am i rejecting. y? y? y? wad is the factor behind it? it lies as a mysetery still.... nites all..

2006-02-25T02:27:00.000+08:00

holidays!

alright mans! holidays have finally come! a long holiday i've been waiting for! this means 1 year have passed already. >< gosh. seems to me i juz got into tp last month or smth. ><

oh well, exams had ended and i'm broke for the month too. argh. curses. anyway, i'm relaxing for now. hahas. woots! i love holidays! its been a tough term. real tough.

i cant wait!

- intsc camp
- foc/fow camp
- centis outing
- class outing
- i guides chalet
- should i go for dnd?

lols! bad sadly no dates for me yet. i wan to go out! i dowan stuck in arcade doing the things liao! someone jio me out can!!!!!!! hahas! anyway, dad finally bought me dvd r. i can burn off my bleach and stuff. D drive left with a pathetic 300mb. =.= oh well! camp's coming and we yet to be notified. i hope everything goes well. tatax!

dm sp: 1007.67
gf sp: 960.xx

woots. both 1k! here i come. hahas!

2006-02-21T01:15:00.000+08:00

exams..

ok. wouldn't be blogging till thurs due to exams. bud tag will still be on. =)) anyway, i passed by this interesting article. want to voice my view out. bold is the writer emphasise one. the one in read is i agree. =x its long. so if ya not interested. den you can tag me straight. xD

-start-

Boy and girl meet. They realize they live and work near one another. They begin hanging out -very casually- often calling each other with a "Hey! I'm in the area, want to hang out?"

A few weeks pass with them dropping by each other's place and they realize they enjoy spending time together and there is attraction.

Sounds like a great start, right?

If you're a guy, sure! But apparently, if you're female, this is something that should make you mad!

What am I talking about? Wooing the girl.

The guy and girl, first casual friends, realized they're attracted to each other. Perhaps they even start to kiss and share happy sentiments. The girl then announces, "Wait! I'm mad at you, you didn't even woo me!"

The girl clarifies that she is mad that there were no romantic dinners, no sweet gestures such as flowers, no planning for when they would see each other next. Hence, she cannot allow herself to like the guy because he did not "woo" her.

If attraction develops through get-togethers, is there something invalid about it?

Does a guy have to "woo" a girl through the traditional nonsense such as dinner and movies in order for the girl to be comfortable enough to like him? Why doesn't just hanging out count as wooing? I think that might actually be a better way of figuring out that you're attracted to someone, through relaxed casual interaction rather than in the confines of a "formal" date.

Even more nonsensical is for a girl to backtrack on their feelings because they feel that they weren't wooed enough. It's like saying, "We both like each other. But too bad, I need to feel like you put more effort into winning me over". So even though the girl likes the guy, she will refrain from allowing herself to enjoy the sensation of attraction. I would love a girl to explain to me how this is logical.

What's the proper thing to do? Sure it's great for the guy to be romantic, and he will be, but does it make sense to penalize him for not wooing the girl from the beginning?

It's much better if attraction develops while hanging out in casual get-togethers. It's a sign that the attraction is a natural chemistry between the two. Guys easily appreciate the good things that come their way. So when we feet attracted to someone, it's great! We don't think about how the attraction came to be or what actions were take, we just enjoy the sentiment. It's simple - girl and boy like each other, why make it be so complicated?

- end -

actually. i somehow agree with him on some points la. y muz wooing be part of the 'criteria' for choosing someone? as in yes. if one party wants to make the other one attract to them. bud if both share the same attraction, y makes things so long-winded? as in. hangouts, when u feel comfortable, its more den enuff aint it?

instead, i tink the 'wooing' stuffs are somehow done when the 2 parties are together. this is where the romantic stuffs and dinners starts coming in. because of the natural chemistry. isnt that so? y base on a guys 'wooing' skills and decide when to accept him when in your heart is ming ming lyk him? is 'wooing' really that important now?

- this only applies to both parties lyk each other. dun misunderstood -

oh well. sometimes girls are weird. so are guys. everyone is. i dunno y. oh well. guess i'm going weird too. how i wish the girl i lyk oso lyk me back. the romantic stuffs can take place when we are together. naturally. bud this thing seldom seems to come. oh well. may god bless. gotta study now! maths! here i come! i feel hungry. =.= nites guys!

2006-02-18T13:28:00.000+08:00

hmmm..

ok. life is going on as usual for me now. thanks to kiwi and miss yuting! ^^ advices really works well for scorpio i guess. oh ya. not forgetting nic bro! hahas. i dunno y bud i take advices quite into an importance to my life. the could change me for the easiest scenario.

yeah. finally got my lazy butt to practive some OOPG. ok. not my butt lahs. is juz an expression. hahas. went down to dbg abt 5 to join the peeps for some 'actions' after i had enuff. hahas. let my hair down as i can say. today was kinda well. sang songs, jammed hard. oh well. i gess is cos of the stress and the troubles i seem to experience over the past week. =.=

oh well, troubles seems to drift away since i pulled away from the main road. i guess i'll take her advice by studying first. ^^ thats wad i wan to do now! argh! concentrate lex! y are u tokin to ur bloggie! @.@

bud after exams is war time! hahas. anyway, yest hanged out till quite late with the guys. talked abt everything and abt anything under the sun. bud poor shouji doesn't understand chinese so most of the time he seems bored. hahas. yeah abt all i guess.

ps: to mr.virusz, if i can do it. so can u. my past experience in love is really worse den u sia. one day tell u. if i can overcome it, try ur best, you can too. and not everyone is out to kill you. ppl may joke with you bud when it comes to serious stuffs, there are friends who stay by you. so cheer up dude! i still wan see ur kazen na inochi to pass on 'extreme' mode. =)) kays?

no one is perfect. the only time you are perfect, is in someone's eyes. so never doubt you are perfect. somewhere, somehow, you may be perfect in someone's eyes..
- lex

2006-02-16T02:57:00.000+08:00

Kurenai - X Japan

and i guess life getting tough again. had some time for a new skin. not the best. bud i believe can be improved. my web skills still aint that good compared to nic's. T.T

yeah. got my butt of the drum chair to my study chair to do some oOPG. hope i can do well for the exams thats all. hais. dowan to repeat my sub. anyway, yeah. at home the whole day. studying and doing this skin at nite. she came online and chatted for some times. really juz enjoy talking to her. make me feel really at ease. =)) how i wish these times never end. though sometimes the words may not be the ones i want to hear, its still great having you as my chatting mate. =))

maybe i shld be satisfied. i want to noe wad you're thinking. i really want. bud somehow my words juz wont blurt out. past relationship really put me to the test and i admit some really left deep memories in me which i wont forget. for life. they're sweet. really. even now. bud all i ask for is a nice and proper girl to be with.. bud someone that girl never seems to come to me.

oh well. i noe i'm somewhat very very very far away from your expectations. i may not be the world in you eyes. but to me, you're everything more than the world. oh well. guess thats sums up all. oh ya. x japan is getting more and more soothing to my ears nowadays. some are emo yet nice. KURENAI! =x ok. tt was random and out of point me. i failed valentine's this year bud i hope by my bday, i can have you by my side, lyk wad you are now. lyk i am to you now.

*/
fell in love with just you
nothing else
i want to be with you
the road may be long and windy
but i believe
i'll be the 2nd guy who will make you move..

j(lala // aint want say name out in case. =x) i'm serious
really.
*/

<3

2006-02-15T13:39:00.000+08:00

valentines

alright. so valentines juz gone lyk tt? hahas! so fast 24 hrs. hmm. oh well. finally got some chilling out period on my own. went bugis arnd 3 - 6+ oh well. as usual. lotsa eye candies to see at bugis. =x *gulps* and also lotsa couples carrying flowers. its the chill out day afterall. so i asked myself.. 18 years and wad have i done? which love for me works out? gosh! and so i tried finding the answer to this question. walked arnd bugis. seeing couples having short kisses here and there. even ah peh and ah ma held hands and blocked my way. =.=

oh well. thats valentines again. msg her. bud reply aint that good. sot. =x its ok. for me this turned normal already. nth much of a big deal. i've learned to look things at a new perspective. *looking at kiwi's nick. =x*

so got my hands on a few games of drums at the arcade or smth. wasnt really at the best form nowadays. since i got my 1k skill points, i feel i going down again. bud simple songs the p rate can go crazy to an extend of 97%? =x oh well.

so nth much. went dbg. and there's this girl who stared at me when she walked past with her frenz. i pretend not to see. bud when i turn over. she still looked at me. bah~ and den gave me a wink and went missing in the crowd. i was lyk wth was that. argh. do i look lyk a duck or smth? wan noe my number come ask me la! =x lols! oh well forget that. reached dbg, did not touch any drums or guitar nemore at zone x. went guilty gear xx instead. fun. xD yeah. saw couples here and there. abt all for my vday... hope some years down the road, my v day aint this saddening as this year's one.

maybe i shld look on the bright side lyk the i not stupid 2. someone ask me for a relationship. yet i stumbled. dinda noe wad to do. its hard to forget you. bud everyone told me to move on. you did not give me a direct answer on how you feel. bud i noe ya the one. i dowan to let you go. T.T everyone asked me to move on. shld i? if ever ya reading this which is 0.01%, tell me how u feel. not as a backup plan bud at least i can put my heart to somewhere i feel warm.. <3

*/
you may not noe.
sometimes little things can juz kill my heart off.
yet i believe in believing.
if today i cant wait for you
there's always another day.
v day went off without seeing you
its bad enuff
bud i juz want you to noe
i've fallen for you
not for you
bud for wad you are

dedicated to - *can keep as secret? =x to a j(lalala). =x
*/

2006-02-12T03:24:00.000+08:00

wish

i really want you for valentine's. is that too much to ask? will you ever noe how much u mean to me? hais. all this are all in da dreams. nth gone rite for me this yr yet. tts all for today. not in best of mood. nites all. guess if u said yes, that can at least cheer me up. T.T

2006-02-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

i hate OOPG!

f***ing hell sia. i was accused of plagiarising my frenz project when i stayed up all nite to chiong. wth is that! that tcher i really bth sia. juz i had lower results and did not participate much in class u suspect me of that? damm sia! this yr is really kinda suay! gosh! wad have i done to deserve all these? everything is not going right! argh! someone pls help me! i really cannot tahan all this nonsense le! ><

juz a want you. for valentines day. thats enuff for me. =((

2006-02-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

=))

yeah. and so i'll blog today. everyone seems to be blogging lesser and lesser these few days. oh well. anyway. and so... vday is approaching real soon and i've yet to have a confirm date. >< oh well. suay i guess. ppl all say i will have a date. oh well. i guess so. its juz me. =))

anyway, life has been such a bore again. nth changed since the past seriously. i'm still the old me. worse in words. ah beng la, slacker la, loser la, cmi la, eto la, all were thrown at me. hmm. i wonder y. lols. my mama say i this yr offend tai sui (a diety) and ask me to tolerate as much as i can. if not i have big trouble. and i realise yeah. i need. so these few days i've tolerate as much as i can. putting that i dun mind face. oh well. i hope this takes into me. kinda lyk the way some ppl think until if their not guilty, den will believe in themselves. i guess i lack in that ability.

oh yeah. presentation for my IDES was a success! yays to me! i prayed there that hope my website wont die on me when i present, and i guess lady luck was smiling on me tt day. =)) bud bros were kinda unlucky. dun think too much k? smiles bro.

hmm. love is in the air already. i'll say wad i see. =)) i was walking to the arcade today. den there was this couple. i guess is new one. the girl wanted to hold the guys hand. she prod her hand to his hand bud i guess the guy did not sense it. den thinking that she failed, she pulled her hand back. now, the contridicting part is... the guy oso wanted to hold her hand! and he prod her hand. yet same reaction, no feeling. so they continued walking.. and i was juz behind. den together suddenly, they said, can i hold ur hand. =.= lols! so funnie. i laughed out a little and they looked back and gave me a smile. i smiled back and said jia you. =x dey smiled again and hold hands and walked away already. awww. sweet rite. hahas. oh well... guess i want my love story to be as sweet as this... hee..

yahs. so back to the first thing. i guess most prob is lonely valentines in the arcade trying to get 1020 sp. hee. possiblity of me getting a successful date is only 10% now. hu will fail o levels ne? lols! nbm bahs. guess this yr is again not my year for love to appear. i'll wait. =))

and before i go, good luck to everyone taking back their o levels results later. =)) wan an le..

2006-02-04T03:47:00.000+08:00

-.-

nth much to blog. juz too moodless to say anything. someone get my mood back pls. i dunno y suddenly i feel this way. life sucks for now. ><

any one single for valentine's day? can jio me out. =p i dowan lonely valentine's tts all. fan zhen bu ke neng you will ask me out one. so ya. any takers? xD oh well, i promise i wont be moodless on that day. wahahas!

argh. shant say anymore. off to bed. nite peeps.

伤心的眼泪你永远都不会看得到。。
等着等着。。
几十你才会发觉我的存在？
几十你才会忘掉你的过去呢？
等到那天时，
我是否有机会和你在一起？
但是那天会不会到来现？
几十我才会在
你心里有个角落？
几十才会让你知道其实爱的人是你？
情人节没机会跟你在一起，
但我心里一直想要知道，
你心里想的时什么。
如果只有朋友的可能性，
我将会发着呆，
让后微微笑，接着紧紧闭上眼，
最后会放弃。但如果我还有一滴的希望，
希望你会跟我说。我会尽我权力，
直到你和我同心。。

2006-02-01T03:49:00.000+08:00

day 3 of cny..

oh well. day 3 of cny passed by with me staying at home doing my projects. how pathetic can that get? bud i wasted 2 hrs thinking on wad you said. hmm. and i decided that even so, maybe this time i want to prove that i can. =))

oh well. nth much for the records. just hope FOC/FOW comes soon. i wan to let my hair down. really. stressed up too much. dunno y, i hope for year 2 to come. hais. i just dunno y. made real lotsa friends in TP when joining so many events. really, there are so many more i want to meet. yet somehow its hard though. eye candy they say.

looking back, when i stepped into TP the first day. i only noe 3 peeps. knnth, chee keen and nic. oh well. and now look. i have more dan a thousand new friends in tp. bud the most rewarding was noeing you i guess.

hais. v day's really coming lyk in 2 weeks. since last nite, i really dunno wad i shld do. y am i so stupid ah. cant control stuffs and everything. i've already told myself not to be rash into jumping into things. and now i've done it again. making myself think abt sucha things again. argh. i'm juz hopeless in this aspect. schoolwork aint right for me also. IT course sure is tough. nth's going right this yr. dog year seems to be kinda bad.

bud i'm kinda happy for my cousins. they were once bad guys. real bad. drugs and stuffs. visitors of prison. bud now look at them now. so happy for them. turned good, kind and friendly le. really can look up to them as life-changer. one even turned to be a good daddy with a cute cute child. which makes me an uncle. so happy for them. his image changed and everything. i'll get the pic up here. =))

guess, valentine's is still lonely this year. unless you dun mind going out oso. which is 20% of the chance of 100000%. >< and oh ya. thanks maybelin for talking to me and stuffs. i feel that we can trust each other sia. xD maybe thats smth good for this dog year. someone still needs to fill in that spot of zhi ji peng you. =))

sis and me on cny day

there. my cute little nephew. SO CUTE CAN!

my yandao cousin hu become daddy le!

2006-01-31T02:32:00.000+08:00

happy cny~!

oh guys! happy cny to all! hope u all receive lotsa ang bao! hahas. cny this yr is so so so so sians. i wonder y too. gosh. hais. its ok. maybe i'm thinking too much tts all. hahas!

yeah. after cny 2 weeks den is exams week le. so fast. hahas. cny this yr i tink i got 200 only. 100 is frm my parents. =.= oh well. guess the economy is not good. went pool with ms on the first day. second day spent at arcade. oh gosh. how boring and no life can this get.

hmm. i kinda lost interest in drums and guitar le. i dunno y too. maybe i growing old le. or maybe i'm juz tt lousy to play on. every now and den, you have been appearing in my mind. i wonder y too. since tt day. gosh. bud somehow u give me the feeling its impossible. i oso dun dare ask much too. cos i've never had fate in love before. valentine's approaching. my fren ask me go ask you out. budden i stil dun dare to open my mouth and ask. i wonder y too. maybe its cos i juz dun dare bahs. bud with you on tt day, it'll be my new year wish come true.

yeah. stressed up this starting of the year. no luck in mahjong, neither in my drums nor guitar. argh. someone slap me awake pls! its the new year yet i'm so negative. hais. should i ask someone out on valentine's? or juz lyk every year, lonely and cold. argh. save me bahs.

孤单 + 寂寞 = 98%
想念 + 希望 = 99%
答应 + 快乐 = 100%

for ppl hu still dunno.. use encoding bahs. it'll helps. =)) xD wan an to all. happy cny again!

2006-01-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

time out. xD

finally can catch my breath to blog a little. got a rather rough week. catching a high fever of 40 degrees on monday nite. den the next few days were hell. lucky i recovered fast. =)) hmm. finally most projects are done and my stress is getting lesser. oh well. i'm looking forward to the holidays. really. lols!

valentine's approaching too and i have no one in mind really. its good to spend with someone at least i can get more closer with. be it friend or wad. bud i guess its hard too. most ppl nowadays are attached or juz wouldn't bothered to go into relationships. lols! guess my new yr resolution aint coming true afterall..

yeah. exams nearing and i hope i wont fall sick again. medicine is really killing me. churning inside my tummy making me giddy the whole day. argh. lols! open hse was a blast too. met lotsa new friends there. hahas. bud somehow i wish it will come again. lols. i somehow regretted not knowing more ppl frm the start. being kinda anti only towards the end. bud overall, its a good experience of how things work. i guides 2007, here i come. =)) next event to look forward will be FOC/FOW! if i really got in. hahas. cant imagine this. will be more of a blast den i guides i supposed. freshies coming in and stuff. cant wait to be a gl again. xD hope my empire is a good one. i wanna make more friends in poly really. best is noe everyone and everyone noes me. xD den at least when i graduate and on the streets, at least i can say hi to someone i know. =)) all these will come under memories and its worth keeping.

poly yrs are short. bud i wan to take away as many things as possible frm these 3 yrs. yeah. more friends. and hope by the end of this yr, i can find my bai xue gong zhu. xD alright. time for some toddles. xD gotta be in school at 12 tml. so thats all peeps. wan an le. =))

2006-01-21T02:27:00.000+08:00

爱情

爱情真奇妙。不知不觉的你又会在掉进这个迷里。爱情来的很突然。但为何我的爱情
故事永远没结局的呢？我喜欢人，但人不喜欢我。我不喜欢人，人却喜欢我。到底
什么时候我才会找到我的白雪公主呢？

我已默默的爱上了你。只不过你不知。我想你知却怕被拒绝。这一个月来，我跟你
的时间虽然不多，但已足够让我迷上你了。你什么时候才能猜出我对你的心议呢？
天啊！救救我吧！ =((

情人节该怎样度过？你说自己都不知有没有空，但我却很想在这一天里，跟你度过。
好想好想。。。希望这个故事将会有个好的结局。。。 =((

feeling lost? lols! too bad. xD

2006-01-18T14:48:00.000+08:00

confused mind. shattered dreams

oh yay! open house in 1 day's time. cant wait seriously. xD meeting new faces to tp. hope this yr lotsa nice freshies will come. woots. yeah. projects handing in are near. so is the final exams. =.= gosh. this term is really so so short.

here's a summary. hope i dun get anything wrong..

this thurs: CMSK grading
this fri: FNDB hand in
next mon: IDES hand in
next wed: OOPG hand in, CMSY hand in
next thurs: japanese listening test
the week after project week: study week
the week after study week: exams! bah~~ T.T

alright. so many things. juz add in a japanese role play thingy during tutorial and another test for that. gosh.. oopg i'm doing shitty stuffs. ides, i tink i'm the worse in class. dun say fndb and cmsy le. hais... looks lyk IT stuffs aint for me. T.T

anyway.. yeah. doing works and stuffs here and there. yest juz got 3/4 of my new year stuffs. actually i'm left with one more jeans. should i buy a cap? gosh. my money. T.T maybe i shld use my hong bao money i guess. oh well. it seems every year my hong bao $$ is getting lesser and lesser. i dunno y. guess its cos of the economic bahs. sad case. everyone's giving lesser. form 12 to 10 to 8. gosh...

yeah. another thing. i feel so argh. why do ppl change so much? from someone i know. when ppl's busy they'll juz ignore other ppl arnd them. juz talk and interact with ppl that is of use to them or smth. i really dunno y. hais. ppl are lyk juz going off. i juz feel i'm the black sheeps for u guys already. feeling so out of touch and reach. oh well. guess its me thats changing. i really dunno wad more can i do. seems lyk i'm not frm the world of u guys nemore. cant click. and i tot we can go on more. foolish me. foolish lex.

yeah. juz another thing. valentine's approaching. and i still dunno wad to do. should i juz ask and have another setback? or shld i juz spend that very day all alone? i dun dare to ask. someone pls teach me how. hais. i dun wanna spoil everything. bad experiences really hold me back now. yet somehow i keep dreaming of tt day to come. how? hais.. lex, u really changed alot. u really become more and more. eh... no more guts to do this kinda things. guess its cos i'm hurt enuff. thats all. tatas.

2006-01-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

stressed...

finally i can find some time to blog. xD wee~ projects are flooding in and i'm doing work to 5am already. gosh. time is precious mans! saying tp is a slack school is really *toot*. =x

neways, yeah. nth really much going on. open house is coming! this thurs! and i'm all excited! the mass dance, i guides dance. so happening! + the ever nice JAM AND HOP! woots! hope its a blast. heard chee keen is performing drums... T.T when will it be my turn lehs. hahas! yeah. moving on.. today we kana pwned by our IDES tcher. saying he will check our progression today. all chiong. in the end. he nv come to school today. he PWNED US THAT OMGWTFIMBABBQSPIDERMAN! =x ok nbm. yeah. did mostly of my work already. thanks andrew for helping me looking thru my jap script. appreciate alot. thanks dude! =))

oh well. thanks for those guys hu assured me. really touched. =)) i'll try to fork out time k? i can do it der. be patient with me yeah? love you guys.

somethings i shouldnt know juz happened. oh well. to that guy. i dunno wad happened to you. bud u are a good fren to me though we noe each other for not very long. i don't want to see u so sad can? everything can be solved. whether it suits u or not, life needs to go on. dun brood over too much. if possible, juz let it go. =))

yeah. memories are indeed worth looking back. i juz found my sec 1 pic lying arnd. compare to how i looking now. red, brown, orange, black hair.... its so different. i really cant imagine if i'm standing next to my sec 1 self now. friends come and goes juz lyk the wind. one day u're having the best time of ur life with them, the other moment, ya juz a stranger standing under that shady tree. lyk wad nicholas bro blog once said, proximity friends. i had lotsa frenz back in sec school days. many have been thru with me so many things. yet now, the only sec school friends i'm in contact is ming song, peng fei and blur pig. the others. seldom talk. if i nv talk to them, i'll juz be a proximity fren. once i tot they will be my best fren of all. sharing everything. yet now, if i dun make the first move, i'll be left alone trying to do my projects. oh well... this life and i've got thru with it. once gone, it'll never return. no matter how hard u try... there's some wishes in me that i want to fufill before everything really comes to a dead end. yet somehow i juz dun want/dare make it materialise. i guess thats becos.. i'ma coward.. yeah. nites all. projects and tests, here i come!

2006-01-12T02:17:00.000+08:00

baboo me..

ok. i'll do some quick blog. not much ppl here anyway. hmmm. nth much this few days. juz work and more work. lols! i kinda lyk this type of hectic lifestyles. juz 1 thing i dun lyk is early school. lols. ok. juz dyed my hair. at first i tot was kinda screwed up. bud now i kinda lyk it. i tink it suits me. juz hope i guides wont kill me for this. =x lols!

anyway, ya. there's nth much frm me too. actually got some things to say bud i forget wad to say. =.= gosh! oh well. guess i'll keep it in my mind for now. hee. no one really reads anyway. hmm. i'll pass it. argh. i hate it! ><

i hate some feelings in me though. i wonder y. i feel so far out frm the people arnd me. lyk different worlds or smth. the way i do things is totally different. we've drifted apart i can feel. no longer on the same topic or smth. i feel so far apart in my heart sometimes that i feel that i want to let it all out. bud somehow i cant find someone to really talk to. mostly is juz the hi-bye type or juz busy with their stuffs. i sometimes really envy girls. they have such close friends to confide in yet i think sadly to say. i have none. mostly is bo chup me one. suddenly i have the feeling to juz leave school and juz go find a job. i dun belong anymore in their world. thats somewhat i think. i feel so distance. everyone is getting together bud i'm lyk the anti-social one now. i tried to go into their world bud i tink my method is wrong. i was laugh at for not being lyk an IT student cos of my work and things. i really feel so far out. so far from their standard. thats how lousy i am now. oh well. forget it. i guess i'll quieten down these few days or so..

i wanna someone to tok to really. both we can share everything out and will sacrifice each other times to hear each other out. guess i still gotta wait somemore. yeah. nbm. hurt yes i am, bud wad can i do? i nid to change... i nid to. seeing everyone fitting in so well yet the dark light shines upon me. i say ppl are too negative abt life and that i dun really lyk them bud when it really happens on u, you'll feel it. hais...

suan le bahs. i juz let it go by nature. i believe someday we can make it or smth. leave me out for now..

suddenly there's this tot of me coming in. i really miss those sec school days. my class and i. playing street soccer together... having class competitions lyk see-hu-can-squeeze-the-most-oil-out in other terms called the oilympics. so crappy. we had question of the day lyk john is 1.65cm, mary is 1.58cm. how tall is peter? this type of questions. asking the tcher to solve, giving rewards. i really miss those times! i wan it back! i really do miss my sec school bros. yes! peng fei, i do miss those crappy times! ming song! raymond! bud no matter how hard i shout, it remains the same. i'm standing soliditary in my world. unable to mix with the current crowd.

the 2d gang. we used to be so close after the o's. yet now i've drifted apart frm u guys. i noe its my fault that i cant make it for most of ya gathering. bud i really miss those times. auntie's bday. ahgirl's bbq. her. yeah. bud somehow everything have drifted away from me. i really miss you guys so so much. her was exceptionally much. there's too much in me that i want it back. bud really, distance really kills time. now all left in me is the photos we took as a gang and everything. somehow i feel, thats the best i can do already... paths i took made a great twist. i rejected the chance. i pushed it away. and now everything seems to piece right back. blur pig told me to go for it. yet i dunno y i cant. its juz i tink me again. useless bum. i think its juz cos i feel the distance is too far to piece the puzzle back. that's y till now i still dun dare to go for it. well i guess. in da end, the problem stills lies in me. bah~~

crap! i'm getting all emotional again. i said was a short blog bud my emotions took me away with all these long talk. wth is wrong with me these few days! i guess its the stress and workload i'm having now bahs. or i think is juz me that is the prob. forget it. i suck and that's final. i shall stay happy in my soliditary world. =)) u go lex!

2006-01-07T01:48:00.000+08:00

boring

ok got some time to blog out of my tired and sick schedule. oh yay! finally got my ezlink card back! yays! and sentosa on sun! double yays! oh well. sat there is i guides. i wan to go. bud sickness make me half hearted. bud hu cares! i guides go u go we go! xD

anyway, got some stress off myself with 2 games of dm and 2 games of gf today! yays! i wonder y i playing lesser and lesser le. y ah? die le. i feel i deproved alot. currently even worse den alot ppl hu started arnd my time. T.T i juz dunno y lahs! i hate myself sometimes for being so weak. cant even play fast songs constantly well at 200bpm. i'm hopeless. hais..

yeah. i've given up on love le. nth works out fine for me. everything either turns out bad for me, or i'm at fault. i had enuff. i shld have more self control of my feelings le i guess. sad case for me. hope i can do it bahs. seems lyk my new year resolution will not come true either le. it all depends on fate.

juz yesterday, i went to visit da doctor. while waiting i look thru their glass doors. and there i see this two guys singing new year song playing frm their car. dancing along to it. at first i tot they will siao.. budden look longer, they were doing for a girl. i mean 1 of them. courtship is so sweet i tink at that time. anyway, after those songs, the guy knelt down on the floor and shouted so loud that even i can hear. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

ok. i noe the sentence is kinda old-fashioned. bud wad i saw next was so sweet. the girl came running down in tears and hugged the guy and shouted loudly too. "YES YES!" awww.. so sweet. how i wish i had a relationship so sweet too. oh well. i guess not for now. i'm having project self-control. bud i really love to be in love. both parties have things to talk, going school. argh! i nid to kick away this habit! >< till den. tataz.

heaven plays the strings of fate. fate pulls 2 person together, bud destiny push them apart. i wish my love story was nice and sweet. at least there's one i will always remember in my heart. history nv reapeats. i guess i'll juz give up. wan an..

2006-01-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

BLOG!

alright! i'll blog! so how's my drawing? still acceptable mahs? waa.. today i'm freaking tired till i cannot stand it le.. gosh. i nid sleep! ok. so here's part B of my new year's resolution:

- A at least 2 of my subs
- Never again rush for work until i go mad
- dun slack when test/exams are coming
- treat everyone good
- noe at least 1/3 of the population oin TP

yeah. thats part B. part A.. bro lets keep ours as a secret. hahas! oh mans! how i wish my sec school frenz! meet up soon kks! hahas. tml the dr william at tp to break the guiness world record thing. hope i can get some sleep afterall. >< i'm tired, my body is aching. someone help me. T.T

the girl i looking at aint looking in my direction. >< take care all..
more sleep

2006-01-01T13:08:00.000+08:00

OTC!

sorry for the lag of updating again. was in camp! OTC 05/06! woots! really had a great time there. its juz lyk i'm being in FOC again. juz that its not tt crowded. haha. i hope i can go to FOW/FOC sia. really wanna be there. i miss those times. i regret not being tt active in XEON. oh well. its ok.

this OTC rocks! i was in CENTIS! and we won the best empire! hahas! i made lotsa new frenz there mans! lots and lots! woots! really enjoyed myself there. thanks CHAO AH GANG! hope we together in the sub empire as gl come FOC/FOW! woots! CHAO AH GANG consist of...

chao ah ting - me lahs! xD
chao ah xian - wan xian! (frances)
chao ah nie - jeanie!
chao ah lian - rachel!
chao ah lin - maybelin!
chao ah stan - stanford!
chao ah ling - mong ling!
chao chao - sean!

hahas! u guys rocks! oh well. theres this one girl in mantis (another empire). dunno y keep catch my eye. hmm. i wonder y too. wanted to do some initiative. budden..... i dowan. dunno y. theres something in me that says stop. i hate myself sometimes for all these feelings. oh well... may we ren shi one day. hahas!

back to where i was. yeah! after OTC the next day, i went DBG. i wonder y i lost my voice there. =.= bah~~ i was supposed to lose it during OTC! hahas! hmmm. nbm bahs. ya. den nite time i walk orchard. with david? oh gosh! so... argh! bud i really gotta thank him. how gay he is. he still spend my new year day with me. oh well. guess its fated. i'll nv have a girl during the festive season. how i wish. hais... nbm bahs. hmmm. yeah. went home, felt weak and sick. currently having headache, sore throat and everything. >< feeling hot inside too. hais. forget it. somethings are juz lyk tt. hahas. my new year resolution doesnt seem to be coming and nearer or anything. guess i gotta take everything slow.. hmmm. happy new year to all...

2005-12-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

my life = SUCKS!

ok sorry guys. now den update. oso dun tink much ppl are here anyway. anyway.. moving on.. life has really changed for me. so many things happened yet none of them is good. i feel so bad really.. hais..

3 weeks ago was project due date week. so nv update. 2 weeks ago was presentation week. and last week was test week. busy month huh? finally got a week to rest. bud i'm going camp on the wed to fri. gosh! save me bahs! hope i'll enjoy during the camp. =P

yeah. moving on. today was the first band jamming. i can say i screwed most of the things up though. T.T sorry intricate. T.T gosh. i really nid to co-ordinate better. argh! hahas! nvm. hope something good come out frm me bahs. nth much too though. V2 is out. hit my guitar target already. hope to go up more. hahas. anyway. ya. life is kinda screwed up for me. i dun even noe wad am i doing most of the time. hais.. i miss you. >< wonder y. screw me. if only sometimes i make the right move at the right time. i hate myself sometimes. moment of rush i screwed my future up. hais. i guess i nid some cool down myself. and thanks those hu had been there for me when i nid to rant out. =))

ppl lyk:
nicholas
melody
blur pig

alright. only 3 in fact. bud hu cares. at least i got 3 friends i really treasure lots. muackies to u guys. =)) really miss all of u guys. hee. lucky i saw blur pig today. she bian hao kan alot le! so cute! bud i forget to squeeze her cheek! hahas! yahs. guess thats abt all. i hate life. i nid love. real love with the same interest and things to tok to i guess. i hate myself. hais. mya god bless me.

2005-12-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

a day to remember

for once i tot santa is going to ignore me for another year. budden santa made my wish come true this yr! i hope. if 13 days pass with no nth, santa is for real on my 17th year. lols. yahs. 12.12.05 nice date ah? hmmm. anyway, nicholas is amazed by omg! you can type? hahas. today's my happy day. yay! cant wait for friday! weee~~ hahas! to infinity and beyond~!

love..

2005-12-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

sick

alright. finally fallen sick. oh well. its ok. nbm. hais... looks lyk christmas is coming yet i cant find any activities yet. hais... my wish this yr may not come true again. ><

2005-12-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

my 17 yrs of wishes

alright i'll blog. hahas. was kinda in a sms mood these few days. keep smsing. hais. oso dunno is wad is happening is true or not. seems so real yet i got a feeling all will end up lyk a fairy tale in a sweet illusion. hais. oso dunno is playing of serious? tian ah! tell me can mahs! hais.. anyway, projects starts to flood in already. lucky now i can control myself not to maple so much anymore. haha! hmm. gosh. yeah. finished wad is supposed to hand in this week le. hope this week aint lyk last week. so hectic. >< i nid a break.

christmas is coming though. every year i made the same wish for christmas. hoping it'll come true. bud in da end, santa bluffed me. oh so well, hope santa this yr will give me a surprise by granting my wish. hee. for wad is now, i'm nearing to see my wish come true. yet somehow i have a feeling all is a lie. not that i dun trust, bud it all seemed too unreal to be true. hais... hope so bahs. *i pray i pray and i pray* hope this yr finally my wish comes true. if it really comes true, this yr will be my happiest christmas ever. =))

merry christmas everyone. =))

*jingle bells!*

2005-11-29T01:24:00.000+08:00

hints

i tink i'll blog today. got some things to get off me. wonder if still got ppl come reading into my blog. oh well its fine with me. maybe i'll juz rant it here anyway.

1st off the hook, i guides. was kinda a hectic week last week was. with 2 trainings and a workshop. hmm. i managed to scrape thru everything. the 1st workshop was kinda good. back to where i was though. mass dance, making new friends lyk FOC. oh great. i wished i could have been a FA though. cos i got no choice bud late for the workshop i can only get assist FA. T.T its ok. almost lost my voice though. it was fun lahs. wahahas

2nd. hais. this fren of mine. i tot i knew him. its been a long time friend of mine. i wonder wads going on. i really dunno. y do i feel so uneasy nowadays? these feelings i'm feeling. it aint the feeling i used to feel last time. long time ago. has time passed me by that you've left and i'm still at square 1? have i really ignored wad is going on? i dowan to end this bond. ya a great fren of mine. even before we met. we're destined to be great friends. i juz know it. you've changed. to somewhat close to i dunno u no more. where's the times we had fun together, crapped arnd and everything? i wished for the old you back. i lost the feeling and knowledge on how u feel. on your every actions. i want you back. if only i could have done something. regrets are always part of me. if only... my old friend....

last. yeah. love. was kinda confused lately again. oh well, nth much abt this too. i juz wanna noe where my heart really goes. somehow most of it is to you. yet i juz dun dare to say it out. i dowan to spoil everything. i have a bad experience once and i dowan it twice. its lyk 10% of chance we can be together yet i hang onto tt rope. y? i dunno y. someone tell me. or make it a miracle for me. i tink i've fallen for you. not once, not twice, bud i tink for long... =)) wonder when will u get my hints. T.T

2005-11-20T03:13:00.000+08:00

ppl lyk this??

gosh.. i dinda noe there are still ppl lyk this still exist mans! it all happens on a friday. ok fine. wan noe details, go josh blog. i juz want to rant on those stupid crapass ppl. this guy. lols! he big shot. wan ask for fight. lols! when not noeing wad happened. lols. josh got into some trouble with them. useless bunch of powerpuff aguas. gosh. how lame can they go u see. argh. finding trouble. gosh. and this guy had to lift his head to tok to josh. tsk tsk. nic was arnd there. he got into troubles too. i was quite a distance. i wonder y i was there too. maybe cos the tcher called us to go away? its ok. at least i was in a standby position in case anything gone wrong. nic got a slight hit on the back. and guess wad he said after that? EX! they make luan my hair! =x gosh..

neways, these grp of powerpuff aguas is maid up of a shorty with a weird hairdo which i think he tinks is cool, a fatass hu does nth bud act important waling arnd with his bag in front of him and keep using his phone machiam calling ppl down which i tink its their max. he's juz showing. a tall guy, hu starts trouble with nic bud in de end he said see wad see? wan fight ah, bud he stand there not even wanting to walk over. dun even have the GUTS to find nic himself. 4 words for him so, all talk no action. next another average guy hu is slightly obessed hu is good in hokkien only. guess thats the best he can go. tsk tsk. and so this grp of aguas are for real! gosh! they look scary, budden the acer man came in. and nic, he is someone kdz la. lols! =x ok. i was being dumb standing there doing nth. dunno wad to do to solve, when nic was pressed against the wall, i wanted to run over and juz punch that fatass, lucky mr acerman was there. really stupid.

in poly still behave lyk secondary ah beng wannabees. wan be beng find real one. at least find some hu can run (unlike bubby the fatass), find someone hu have guts (the all talk no action), another one with more action (the avr guy who talks hokkien only) and lastly more integrity. f*ck them lahs. kiddos.

ok next sorry to my nic bro that i dragged u into trouble once again. >< all my freaking fault again. hais. me. is good for nothing seriously when it comes to books. hais. real sorry. next time same scenario, scold me and wake me up k? cos i've done enuff trouble for u and josh le. sorry bros. real sorry. honto ni gomenasai. T.T

2005-11-15T09:55:00.000+08:00

school

woots. argh, school work coming in. ok maybe not schoolwork. maybe cos i nv do them during the holidays. hahas! damm. should have done a little. oh wadeva. oh girls and guys of 2D. i dinda noe it was supposed to be a celebration. T.T blame it on my dumbness. argh. save me. hmm. its ok. next year. woots! cos my bday passed le mahs. so i tot it WAS really just a gathering. ><

boos. ok. now my bandit is level 33 ler. lols. leveling up real real slow. hahas. if i really play like the holidays, i should be abt level 37 by now. oh gosh. damm. i feel so funnie nowadays. somethings arnt juz goign right. i nid more time. i nid lyk 25 or 39 hrs a day. i wan to live longer. i wan to enjoy more before everything starts to shape up. argh. the past sucks. i have gone through a very tough since my secondary school days. its kinda ups and downs. hmm. maybe now that i have grown up. i should be thinking back and trying to improve on wad i can do. i really want to be the best. argh. someone save me bahs!

damm. now its so weird. i feel that ya my dl. budden how come my mind think of another thing? i dunno wad to think. feel so lost. how come i always wan to love someone i shouldnt love in the first place? an i really fated to stay lyk tt on till i really get older? hmmm.. someone tell me. i had enudd.

fine. ya in my head. u juz cant seem to get out of it. save me ah save me! tian ah tian ah! i nid you ah! come back to me! >< boo hoo! lols!

ok. now this session is joshua my f*ckiest bastard bro ask me write one. =x lols! he wants his name to be mentioned in my blog. i still wonder y. ok so here goes. everyone take notice. esp girls. guess thats wad he's thinking. =x

JOSHUA TAN
EMAIL: elitist88@hotmail.com
Status: Single
Maple ID: KaWaiiKuN
Living: Eunos (hang pig head bahs. =x)

ok. thats wad he wants. the f*ckiest bastard bro of mine. =x

ciao~~

2005-11-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

lala~~

love isnt all arnd. you got to find it frm the middle of everything. once i tot love could go my way. in da end. i got to fight for it. normally m/f would juz wan love to come without them fighting for it. somehow i tink otherwise. its ok i would say.

finding one destiny lover is easy. bud its juz how to take hold of the situation. most ppl will be shy and see their destiny lover juz walk away. and regret later on. i also do. till now i wonder why i still dun have the courage to ask the gerl i lyk for anything wadsoever. i have been walking for so long. yet everytime love fails me. i wont deny, i've once loved you so deep that i could do anything for you. till now i wont deny my feelings are completely lost. yet somehow i juz wish all could have gone fine in the first place. i wanted to love you more bud u choose to love me lesser. i dun get it. you could have easily be my no1. my so called destiny lover. everything abt you is simply perfect to me den yet now, all is nth bud a memory, an unfinished puzzle for me to solve, a place with i could do nth. somehow i wish to love you again. bud the msg was nv put across. somehow i wish that the person i could spend my bday with the most is you. yet everything is juz a shattered dream. i tot of the happy times we could have. yet i guess it was the shy-ness, and the failing ability to communicate to each other drifted use apart. bud seeing how life has gone now, you've oso settled down with life, all i can is wish u goodbye and all the best. inside of me, crumbled to the pieces...

pardon me... for somehow i cant control it anymore.. if only i grabbed the chance in the first place. if only i managed to win ur whole heart.. if only i managed to pull u back. if only the love could go on...

2005-11-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

bday passed

guess i'll blog smth. hmm. nth much though. my bday juz passed. and its juz lyk any other ordinary days. hais. wonder when will my bday be so exciting of new. gosh.. suan ler. yahs. sis bday coming. tml. sch reopen. taking jap. nth much more lers. everything is new. gosh.

i'm feeling so left out suddenly. maybe cos everyone's juz changing and i'm not. still that stupid me frm 5 years back. i wonder y. i wanna see my destiny lover again. i wanna fall in love. i wan a bday which can be spend very nice with the one i love and she love me. all that seems far. bud i'm waiting for tt day. hope next yr comes soon..

2005-11-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

arcade again? =x

maple under some inspection of smth. lols! nbm. blog a little..

hmm. life is juz per normal. nor's bday today. went cartel (lartel) eat. lols! nice! bud ex lahs. its ok mahs. hahas! anyway. same holidays routine. lols! i sians le lahs! hahas. whole holidays nv even start prsp. die le. wonder wad will happen sia. >< eekks!

hmm. my destiny lover. gosh. looks lyk tt will the first and last time i see her ler. its ok. smth lyk tt der. chance comes. u dun bao wo. its good bye. hais. seriously now my life really a bit bored. gai lai de bu lai. bu gai lai de jiu lai. >< eeekkks! i wan someone to be with. i wan to feel love again. lols! when will my destiny lover appear again? hmm. i wonder...