Monday, August 02, 2004
I rrly dunno..
2 days down 29 more to go. i'm starting from today. dunno if i'm doing the correct thing anot. i dunno. first, family scold me for anything, everything, den come my stsudies. not up to expectation. frenz can be liers sumtimes. lastly the last thing i nid comes from you. i've been beaten by life. i've been beaten by fate. i rrly dunno wad to feel. i feel so numb. nth could say it. i dun have any mood. mood to even write anything. wad am i doing now? sumtimes i'm juz so tempted to jump down. i dunno. lucky my mind jumps back to sense immediately. love is the exit to many entrance. i hope it does goes out this way. all i could hope for is over. i dunno wad to say. you seems to have shown it all. though i won't deny its hard and the journey is bad. i will still try my best if thats the onli way you won't get hurt. maybe one thing i am happy about is for the first time, i found or should say realise there is a person hu i can tok to and chat with so freely. actually the person is right before my eyes. how come i dinda notice. yest the fireworks display, i met my darling mei. we sat by the river there and chatted. rrly, i can pour everything to her. i dunno y. its lyk she's got this sumthin i can trust. i dunno. maybe i'm juz over reacting too much. haix. *doesn't mean i hav feelings ok tawnka darling for yest. though u dinda manage to make me have a true smile, tanka for caring and chatting. hmm. later still got lessons. i rrly dunno y. juz now saw her at the bus stop. i juz had this feeling i wanted to go over and tok to her. she was juz there. with ger they all. budden i noe, since i made this thing, since you've shown wad izzit, i shld respect it. i acted important and went away. to find ston bro. i rrly wanted to stay. bud i juz couldn't he was there. i dinda want to make things difficult for you. i had no choice. all i could do is to wish ya happy always and leave you to decide.
of all things, the one i tot was so true cos sumone told me happened to me. maybe pf was right afterall. he predicted we two won't be together. it seems so close le. i rrly dowan to believe his words. bud. haix. nbm. i dunno y. i've given myself one month. one month to forget. if you ever change your mind, i'll be there. bud i oso dunno. my fate lies ahead. jia yin was right oso after yest i sat in da middle of a road. if she say she did not lyk you from the start, den she's not worth your love. yeah maybe its true. she oso said y u lyk her so much. i was oso wondering and i still couldn't come up with one. maybe the cloest i can get is maybe the answer is..... her. *cry me
p.s: no more mood to write cos the starting was so screw up tt kesper was together with
flouca. if you all still dunno, its base on a true, rough guideline of me and her though. yeah. maybe i'll juz go straight to the ending.
The Memories Part 4
As the sun set with the starry sky took the place of it, meteor rain starting to pour over. Flouca pushed Kesper away from her. Surprised as Kesper was, he asked why was that about. The only reply Flouca gave was "i'm not worth your love. there are much more better girls out there. maybe we weren't meant to be. maybe we weren't meant to meant. maybe we weren't meant to love. maybe, we should juz be strangers." As heartbroken as he was, Kesper knew something. Love cannot be forced. what is meant to be yours will be. what ain't will never be. Though he loved Flouca so much, the only way to show he truely love her is to forget her and from now, he will start. Lying to his heart, if only Flouca will change her mind one day, he'll still be here. There's just one line that Kesper wanted to say to Flouca. "Love is the exit to many entrance. And i've found the exit to my heart and the entrance to your heart. I L-O-V-E Y-O-U." knowing he had no more chance to say this line anymore, kesper turned his back just as Flouca did and both they turned and walked away, this time both without a backwards glace, they walked to the darkness in front of them and parted, each to the world of their own.....
The End - Based on a true rough guildline on a true story. =(
SAD and LOST: FetOrAy a.k.a Alvin
darkside illusions 4:55 PM
