Thursday, September 29, 2005
argh fine. and my hands are itchy that i went ps today. t.t hahas! bud at least i got some rewards today. so its ok. my *toot* ggxx keep got the error thing. make me play until so du*toot* lols! bud its ok. i almost FC songs in zone x today. with 1 miss or 1 poor. argh. i'll FC songs soon. hahas. and i passed azaisuzu ext today! hahas! so happy. xD although its not an A or S or smth. a low B is good for me! it took me 5 tries after adv to pass this song can! argh. i'll improve more on it. surely. hahas! weee~ nth to do now. >< so tired now. suddenly i feel lyk hearing ur voice. 1 minute or smth seems so long. hahas! wonder y too. oh well. to my bed and beyond! hahas! here's a pic of how i fare. xD =)) tmr xeon outing. or i shld say later. shld i go? i go oso so lonely. =x
akaisuzu ext - level 92
darkside illusions 3:09 AM
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
sians
ok. i muz force myself to stay at home. its kinda irritating to spend so much money. y muz save money ne?
1) josh bro prezzie
2) a friend's bday cele at kbox. >< (a bomb)
3) steamboat at marina on the 7th of oct. (another bomb)
4) pay knnth 55 bucks for my cd
5) pay back my dad for my hp money he lend me which totals to 200 bucks more
6) save money for my drum set (currently saved $0 cos of my hp) ><
7) xeon gathering on the 29th of sept
forget it. so many things to save on. and i yet haven do it. my mama wants me to help my dad. i really want. bud dunno y juz aint interested in the job. hais. y ne? i see my dad liddat i wan help him sia. hais.. looks lyk its another month of saving money. i want to work. bud where ne? hais. gosh... i count count count. looks lyk next month's muz at least save abt 300 outta my 350 allowance. hais. thats 50 bucks for the whole month! cant go out and do anything ler. hais. stupid me. i nid to find work! argh! anyone can jio me in? argh. nbm. for oct its time to save! wee~! maybe i shld start PPG bud not on diet! on food and drums! so dun jio me out to play anymore k ppl! yay! juz erh. jio me go out chill. i tink i can still afford transportation. =)) lyk go out see people. =x woops. thats and idea only. or juz spend 2 bucks on a super big glup and sit at the stairs people watch. hahas. miss those carefree times in sec school. whenever go bugis. den arcade finish ler sure will go neoprint shop. lols. its always not disappointing. lols! bud now. tsk tsk. better not ler. hahas. seems lyk everyone is rather attached and happy. lols!
yeah. i changed my skin again! is it nice?!? as usual. dun gib comments please. its up to u guys to decide. hahas. for now. i'll stay at home and be mummy's boy by doing the hsework and using comp can ler! yay! drumming in arcade sucks! guitarfreaks sucks! yucks! get away frm me! eeyeer! dowan dm and gf ler! get outta my life! arcade shoo shoo! *i wonder will i kana lightning strike even in da hse anot for telling sucha big lie =X*
tc all. love you dad and mum. and the gurl hu will nv be mine. =)) hahas!
darkside illusions 2:18 AM
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Monday, September 26, 2005
life
and sometimes i really wonder. y are we put to this world and die off later? i was thinking abt this few days ago. this is something so funnie. have anyone given it some tot? sometimes i really hope there's someone to be here to peii me frm now on. so that i noe i wont be lonely anymore. bud somehow it seems possible. bud at least i noe there's still mum and dad. hahas! =)) while we continue with our lifes, we muz make it to the fullest. somehow i really wonder wad is after death. wad will really happen. bud i aint tt stupid to go suicide. i hate suciders. dey have no sense of responsibility. really. hais. they leave their poor parents to suffer. we shld repay them now, now making them cry. hmm. and somewhere i tink i wont even try suicide. y? cos i found someone to live for other den my family and friends. someone special to me. =))
darkside illusions 12:34 AM
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Saturday, September 24, 2005
parents
yeah. found another topic to tok abt again. =)) yep yep. have u all ever have this feeling of when going out with ur parents is something lyk u haven grow up? when u are lyk the big brother of all ur friends den one day ya spotted by ur friends going out with ur mama holding hands. how would u feel? seriously, the teens nowadays will be feeling suay or even disgusted. bud wad for? to me, i tink its something to be proud abt. how often can children nowadays spend time with their parents? so wad if ya teased mummy's boy? at least u love your mummy and daddy. so y care? last time i used to tink that going out with mummy and daddy is kinda argh. bud now not anymore. they're my treasures, they're my life. i love them.
thinking back, i was so bad. when mama hold my hands in the secondary days, i tend to end the holding as soon as possible. cos i tink children of my age shouldn't be spotted lyk tt. bud when i got older, i wanna utone for the lack of respect for them. now, if my mama or papa brings me out, i'll be glad to do it. i dunno why. hahas. thinking back again, when i shouted at my mum for not giving me freedom and space in the past, i feel lyk beating myself up. those were good intentions afterall. they shaped me for who i am now. and i'm proud of it.
i wonder if u guys got ever think abt this b4. wad will happen one day if ur parents are on the death bed. and thinking that its only hrs before you can nv tok to them anymore. when u cant ask them for advice or be embraced in their heart. with them making u laugh and supporting you? how would u feel? i once tot of this and got frightened. how am i to carry on with my life? I've been naughty for the past 16 yrs and come to tink of it, i'm left with lyk 30-40 years left with them. i really wonder how would i feel. its kinda scary. some people may juz tink i hope they die as soon as possible. they treat me lyk i'm not their kid. i hope they die and i can get my freedom faster. well... TO HELL TO YOU GUYS! argh. think abt it! wad if one day ya on ur dying bed and wad u hear frm your sons and daughters were i hope u die faster. give me my freedom. how would u feel? the pain is unbearable. sometimes people tend to get mad and yell at your parents. its totally fine with it. i noe. budden when you've cool down, at least do something to make up for it. maybe its really not ur fault. bud a little sorry can work wonders.
also, dun threaten ur parents with death. its heartening. put urself in their shoes. wad if one day ur sons and daughters do the same. how will u feel? tink abt it. i'm proud to have my papa and mama as my parents. they're two people one could never ever wish for. bud i'm glad i got them. they are the best. i hope this short entry does knock some sense into people who nv think of their parents. they're your strength to you. no matter wad, they are your parents afterall..
i love you dad and mom. happy 24th anniversary. =)) though its abit belated. <3
darkside illusions 2:01 PM
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Thursday, September 22, 2005
hints
ever got hints frm guys or girls hu lyks you? ever pretend to not knowing the hints and act blur? hahas! well sometimes u do the hinting and sometimes u receive the hintings. hahas! oh well. i tink its kinda hard to make hints u noe. hahas. sometimes ya juz damm shy to let ppl noe u lyk them or smth. u juz make hints. hoping that they noe and they feel the same way. hahas. yet sometimes u dowan to overdo it neither u dowan ur hints to be misunderstood. lols! so how? u tend to overdo it in da end. lols. thinking. wads there to lose? hais. bud hints. wad type shld u give? thats the troubling part. hahas!
yet on the other hand. the people who receive these hints. let say u lyk the person. you dowan the hints to stop for most ppl. u wan them to continue. y? there are some reasons. lols!
1) you enjoy receiving. thinking how sweet can the other person goes
2) you want to see wads up his sleeves next
3) you hope to bond the relationship more with these hints
4) u want them to make the first move to asking for a relationship
5) you're unsure
6) shy-ness
and so wad do these ppl do?
1) act blur
2) pretend you are toking abt another person
3) tend to say i help u tell the person lahs!
4) dun kay siao lahs! where will happen one
and the list goes on. sometimes. these acts does hurts. i've been thru both types of situations. yet both are kinda hurting. though i prefer receiving hints. =x hahas! anyway, to those pp lyk scorpios lyk me (sad case) hu normally are shy bud wants to be love, they tend to give hints yet the returns are usually T.T y? i oso dunno. lols! yet sometimes its challenging to do this kinda things. u want ur feelings to be hurt yet u dowan to overdo it. kinda of a skill? hahas. =x yet nowadays, ppl wants more straightforward i guess. either u say "I LIKE YOU!" straight, if not forget it. gosh. thats y scorpios die out? =x oops. sad case! argh. yet somehow i juz dowanna give up. believing some day you'll believe me. its cos we are shy. thats all.
and the ppl hu receive the hints they tend to act blur. yet dun have the skill. u noe the person lyks u. yet u dowan to do anything abt it. as in make some obvious notes that u lyk or dun lyk him. sometimes u give the hints you're doubting them. this is a sad impact u noe? they will juz take it as a rejection. cos deep inside this hinting ppl hearts, they noe u noe. =((
wonder how long will this goes on. its obvious yet ya avoiding. maybe you're juz not it i guess. forget it. lols! thats how all rejectees shld feel. lols! i learned my way! xD bud seriously if u alreadi noe how i feel tell me ok? hais. forget it. doubt u even read. lols! lala~
the choice is yours. take it of forsake it. -blah
darkside illusions 2:10 AM
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005
ok back to blog. xD had been cutting on drumming and guitaring ler. wei le my Samsung SGH E730 and my drum set. i gotta sacrifice abit. hahas. anyone to jio me out for window shopping or smth? or anyone wanna find jobs with me? hahas! 1 month job which is quite good de? hmm. i nid so money if not my things are so far fetch.. maybe i shld juz help out with my dad afterall. hais. hahas! hope i can make it bahs! gambatte lex! u can do it! lols. stayed at home re-watch bleach. xD its kinda nicer and nicer if u watch over and over again. lols! since i cant play drummania i was at home practicing on dtx. hahas. in case my skills get rusty. hahas! yays! i juz joined a band. u guys muz support me ok! hahas. seems lyk my dream of performing on big stage is not so far afterall! weee~! hope everything goes off fine! lols!
yeah. seriously. i tink i helping out with my dad bahs. my mum say if i help out she will pay for my phone and my drum lessons. hahas. bud seriously i dowan to kao her. i wanna find a nice job too. hais.. wonder when will that opportunity comes. hmm. anyway, i hope my money will save dao as soon as possible. awaiting for my drum set. for now. i hope my phone comes soon. lols! take a look bahs. attracted to this phone. xD
you can see its review here.
darkside illusions 2:02 AM
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Friday, September 16, 2005
loved or being love?
ok. i overheard this conversation on the bus to ps today. the topic is weird because they come out frm this two females about their late 30s or early 40s frm their faces. weird huh? yeah. the topic is loved or being love?
this is a simple question yet puzzles the mind of millions. to love someone or being loved by someone is better? yeah. i gave this some thought though. loving someone is indeed hard. the 2 females were saying. ppl love u better. at least u can choose to love him or not to love. u can "wei shuo yi wei" (do anything u wish). is he lyk u mahs. yahs. kinda true i tot. u go love ppl u can only listen to wad they say. hu ask u lyk him or her. its hard u see. yet there's still so many ppl willing to be the one hu loves. there's a saying. wo bu ru di yu shui ru ne (if i dun go to hell, hu will?)? kinda true again. really. always i want to be the one being loved. not the one loving. bud always it ends up i loving ppl. maybe thats because i have no confidence that there will be someone hu loves me bahs.
being loved is a great thing i guess. its much more fortunate. at least ur choices are more spreaded out. no matter wad decision u make, ur're the winner in da end still. budden if ya loving someone. u aint always a winner. if the person u love so much rejects u, its very saddening. so well.. u guys decide. loved or being loved? how i wish i was being loved. lols..
yeah. it aint tt hard afterall if u are xi guan alreadi. i'm waiting for u to say thats all. u got my hints. u understand it. deep in ur heart i noe u know wad i mean. i'm shy thats all. i risk to love den being love. i hope u feel the same way as i do. someday, somehow u can tell me. i hope u know its you..
love or being loved? your choice. =))
darkside illusions 11:44 PM
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runaway train
sometimes people juz cant think for themselves. wadever they said. yeah. some people maybe cowards bud some ppl stand their front strong. i envy those strong minded peeps. they rocks. wads there to be afraid of your name? a name is for u to be recgonised. so that u can be called to. if u dun lyk ur name in da first place, at least make an effort to change it nicely so that people can call u by that. inside of stupid names. childish i may say. oh well. maybe its juz the pms in me again. =x
yeah. finally controlled one day without DBG. yay! =x stayed at home and cleared my online stuffs. still not yet done bud proud that it is almost done. hahas! bud too bad. i'm going DBG later. hahas. oh my sky. kareen still haven tell me the time she free and where to go. my date. T.T lols! i'll settle with drums and guitars for today i guess. hahas. yest was erh. kinda a wacky night u see. lols! was doing my web thingy in mac with lynette while she was 'studying' for her e maths p2 prelims. noticed the 'studying'? =x lols! ok. to the end there's this mental old man who came in to the mac. he was wearing a cap, botak, left with only 1 tooth and was speaking amazingly powerful english. =x he went arnd lecturing students on y we are studying. y are we using laptops and can we see without our spectacles. zZz that was not all. the teens there di siao back. so damm funnie. the situation. whenever ppl come into the mac, he will smile with his only tooth and say "hello, good morning". lols! other words that came out was "oh my god!" you all shld hear how he say it. even funnier den russell peters. lols! i was laughing till my ass became sore. =x hahas!
in da ending part was a climax. holy shit. the mac manager called the police. the police came. den because he was an old man, they cant do anything. the old man said even the police come he not scared. "silence is golden" =x lols. he da end, the police came and he immediately stand up. my friend go di siao and said "i tot u say u not scared? sit down la!" the old man is a person hu loves his pride i guess. he said "ok!" in a proving tone and squat on the floor. wakao. i was speechless can. gosh. den after some toking by the police to the old man the old man stood up and slowly walk out. my friend shouted "bye bye!" den in another proving tone he said "i can crawl all the way home for a 50 yrs ah! (he doesn't look 50 though)" my friend said "crawl lor. not my problem" the old man gave a proving sort of look and crawled all the way out. oh my sky. i was speechless again. my words aint good i noe. budden at least i re-cap on yest funnie incident. hahas! enjoy dudes.
and all are lies. i've woken up from a bad dream. things are better left un-touched. =))
darkside illusions 12:57 PM
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
new skin!
alright. i changed a new skin. spend abt 2 hrs doin it. wad do u guys tink? ok. i wan no comments. =)) to some ppl its lyk shit. shit songs plus skin. argh. bud seriously i tink its cool. this drum song is damm nice! lols! the guitar is mad, the drums is mad. i tink it suit my skin. bud if u all dun lyk metal rock, pls turn it off by all means. xD warning that is. hahas! i took away the archives cos i noe it'll take up alot of dragging space as time goes by. so. if u guys wan to see the past post tell me ok? hahas. =)) i'm trying to make scrolls. bud its hard. if only someone can help me? hahas! =x nid help in that.
ok. today went cck. yay! so long since i went. nv disappoint me de. lols! i love north and west side. xD so exciting. anyway, went there to play e amuse. yay! cleared songs and gain more sp ler. lols. compared to last time i was lyk zzz so lousy. hahas. forget it. hmmm. yeah. i dunno wad to say ler lahs. gosh... currently there's something on my mind. bud i doubt it'll come to me anyway. so forget it. nitez ppl. =))
darkside illusions 4:36 AM
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Sunday, September 11, 2005
*yawns*
fine. shall blog. its been sometime i guess. sorry guys. cos this few days dunno wad no mood sia. dunno y. hahas. anyway, my 2 months break start ler. and holi homework coming in yet i haven do. 2 sets sia. >< gosh. dun feel lyk doing mans.. bud got to do somehow so forget it. hahas. fine. anyway, was at ps this few days rotting my time off. i am infillial. hais. y liddat. gosh. i shld be helping my injured father with his work. i want to help him! i really do rite frm the bottom of my heart. seeing him supporting the family even with an injured leg. i really feel so bad. bud how to help? hais.. i'm bad. hais.. dad, thanks for everything u did. i enjoyed everything becos of you. u are the best dad one could ever wish for. i love you dad. even if one day we were to part, everything u've did for me will be in me. right frm the day i was born, to changing my diapers and everything. love you lots dad. muacks!
k fine. i'm getting emotional thats all. sometimes i really wonder y some ppl are so ungreatful to wad they have. dey have a perfect and nice family yet they choose to rebel. yes i do admit i wan freedom too. bud i go from the nicer side. y do ppl have to go to make their parents cry? hais.. bad children! its ok.
hmm. back to where i am.. rotting my time in ps. hmm. anyone wants to jio me out mahs? tell me ok? i want to have more life. hahas. anyway, have been trying to improve on my guitar skills. lols. yays! i finally hit my target! i pass family bomber, madblast, agnes, black sheep, tamayura ext guitar ler! yays! so happy. hahas. drums. i tink i still stagnet. aint getting better. tink i work on the real drums bahs. i hope i can get myself a drumset by the end of this year. hahas. =))
hais. sometimes i really wonder. shld i remain liddat or juz go on. its really so bad to tink. so bad. i dowan to ruin the friendship we have. hais.. hope things will work out fine bahs. hais. for now i guess juz remain the way it is bahs...
darkside illusions 2:07 AM
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
lifeless!
omg. yesterday my 'yee ma' was a disater. gosh. i felt her coming. den went toilet to force her out. and guess wad happens? only her 'hair' drop out plus lots of sounds. i felt disgusted by it too. xD bud hu cares. as long as my tummy not pain cos of her can ler. hahas. gosh. suddenly i feeling my life now is really no life. holidays are comp and arcade. hais... school start, school, comp. argh. no life. its been quite some time since me and friends went out go gai gai together liaos. go see shoes, clothes all these. lols. no life sia. no stead jiu shi liddat. =x
lols. now is drums and guitar. boo boo! someone put colours lehs. sians. at least last time got bball. now? hais. mai say liaos... save me bahs. gosh. ok lahs. bud at least i still have my friends and meii with me. contented. =)) heaven is fair de i believe. everyone shld treasure wad they have now. dun regret at the last moment when u've lost everything. everything is a blessing in disguise. although u may feel unfair sometimes, those things may come in handy some day. not always breakups are unfair or bad. maybe its juz heaven above wants u to have a better partner. =)) so cheer up for all hu suffered breakups. there's always me to come to. =/ lols! =P hao bahs. i go ler. i still nid some colours. lols. cya all arnd!
darkside illusions 12:59 PM
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
sians
ok! exams over! argh. nth more to blog seriously. my life is no fun one. no nth. i'm bored. i'm lonely. kill me bahs! ><
darkside illusions 2:53 AM
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