Saturday, October 29, 2005
boring life
has been quite some times since i update. tink oso no one comes my blog liaos. its ok. quieter this way. anyway not much to say. playing maple now lor. hais. suan ler.. my burfday oso coming ler. somehow this year i'm not expecting much. somehow i dun want my burfday to come. somehow i dun pang wang my burfday. y? i dunno. maybe cos this burfday will be a lonely love heart for me. yet again. if only i'm in love. tatas. thats all. c all of u guys arnd.
darkside illusions 5:07 AM
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Saturday, October 22, 2005
despo! =x
guess i blog something. nth much this few days. mapling or. back to maple. >< cos of frenz influence lahs! see! argh! hahas! bud its ok. lols. school starts wont chiong so much ler. hahas! anyway.. ok lahs. nth much. yest at arcade saw a gurl. so so familar. juz cant figure out where i see her. lols! hmm.
gosh. i tink i more and more despo this few days! lols! monkey is lonely! wahahas! hmm. everywhere oso got my type. bud y juz cant get the courage up? ah! nbm. suan ler. ppl say believe in love. i dun ler. everything dun work out der. hmmm. i stay away from her saccharine smile. ><
darkside illusions 1:55 PM
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Friday, October 14, 2005
gratitude
and i tink thru everything, we got stronger. we got closer. u and me. sorry for taking sucha long time. sucha long time to try to understand you. sucha long time before u could trust in pouring out things to me. i really hope that one day you and i can be so close that even personal things can be shared. to me, ya someone hu cant be replaced.
we will get stronger still. we will get closer still. brothers till the end, friendship for life. this i promise you. you'll never be one person walking thru everything, for my hands are always here for you to lend. take great care. my dearest brother, nicholas. =))
and to sk da sao, thanks for the mail. thanks for everything.. i noe who my true frenz are. i noe hu treats me genuinely well. and scorpios will remember each and everyone of you. you are truely one of the greatest fren den walked past my life. for this, i'll be there for you if your world is dark. if ever u nid me, prob me up or smth. i'll be giving u my ear and my warmest heart. =))
to all my friends, i treasure all of you all no matter wad. even the slightest thing u do, i still remember..
to papa, mama, jie.. i love you guys. without u guys, there aint no lex now..
to cassy meii, dun tink so bad. one day you'll realise how good friends can be..
for now, tatax. thanks guys. love you all. =D
darkside illusions 2:23 AM
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
the old me..
i'm back for today. blogging. hmm.. i guess thats how the human's mind works. its really so funnie. when u've no one to trust to, one rather trust something that wont even give u advices. so funnie..
ok nbm. i tink i'm kinda losing touch of everything. everything seems to be falling apart. i've become more self-centered, not daring to socialize more with the opposite sex anymore, friendship, understanding, cheering ppl up, sensitiveness and all. somehow i seem to have lost everything. wonder wads left in me. in the past, i can juz so easily make a person smile or cheer up. with tt simple thing i do. yet now, no matter how much i try, even the person i take to be as my bro cant even smile, truthfully. cant even brighten up his day. wad am i now?
in the past, i'm able to socialize well with gurls, knowing more of them and they knowing me vice versa. bud think now, i dun even dare tok to most of them. i'm starting to lose touch. i once remembered my fren wanted to noe a gurl. frm the streets. i juz went up to her and said my fren wants to noe you. in the end, i gotto noe the gurl more den my fren do. now? hais. i dun even dare to walk up, ask for no or smth. wad is going on? scorpios are known to read ppl mind's easily. and i do. i know wad ppl are somehow thinking and do the right thing to cheer them up. bud now see again. i cant. hais. i'm keeping most of my troubles to myself and i dunno y. no one asked me. neither did anyone really cares till now.
yet somehow i put on some face, helping ppl hu are down. hoping to brighten up their day with everything. i used words lyk wads there to be sad of? u'll die one day, so y not make full use of now? bud in me, all i can is think, think and more thinking. how, who, when will that day come. when i can trust in a gurl. to accompany me on? i'm thinking too much again. wadeva. i'll continue searching. someday i'll reach out to you. someday u'll realise all along it was you. and i'll be searching inside of me too. to find that confidence, i once had. to brighten up everyone's day. to be able to sense ppls sadness and help them.. yet somehow.. i cant help myself though.
if only u can see me in this dark dark world of mine. someday we'll meet. someday we'll know each other.
busted.wasted.
darkside illusions 3:09 AM
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Monday, October 10, 2005
girl style
i haven been blogging for days i realise. was sick yesterday. was busy on sat. did i blog on fri? if i dinda means i lazy. ok. nth much happens. juz some giddy spells and everything. i really got to thank my friends hu spend their time to accompany me. really love you guys. josh bday was on fri. oh yeah. means i did not blog on fri. == went pastamaina to eat for celebration. me and nic got him a bigger bag and a KON plushie! oh gosh! i want that mans! bud good things shld be shared. hahas! yeah. so nth much here and there. lost touch with school work. realise i haven touch PRSP at all. argh. damm! not to mention matters of the heart. lols! i seriously given up on every light now. i'm not fated with love i guess. nth aint right thats all. hmmm. so ya. given up.
hmm. i tink my drum skills improved again. yay! for now i FC-ed (full combo) 3 songs ler. gotta get more. easier songs first den proceed to hard songs. my guitar skills dropped lyk shit instead. cant even get a good grade for Just in my Heart. hais... bud its ok. my GGXX skill up-ed again! yays! hahas! i guess nth for now. cept waiting for a real light to shine. i somehow have a different view on the girl styles i lyk. hahas. embarrasing to say though. bud somehow i can picture how is it to have that type of style of girl for my love. hahas! i hope so.. *faint from giddy spell*
hmm.. if u guys seriously wan get a bday present for me... join forces with my parents bahs! get me a drum set for 500+ to 700! yays! hahas. kidding. i dun nid anything. juz want my friends and everyone to remember me. thats all i ask for. =)) nights guys.
darkside illusions 10:03 PM
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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
friendship
oh well. guess i kinda blog today bahs. my head is spinning. wonder y. hahas! the whole day my head is so pain. argh. anyway, erh.. ya. slept till 12 as usual. den met nette for lunchie. den came home watch the recorded tape of vampire 3. lazy spell everything out. hmm. yahs. guess wad? went to sleep after that. wanted to go dbg budden too lazy. hais. wad is going on with me mans. den woke up abt 7. ate dinner and watched tv. hahas! life in holidays is liddat. hmm. i nid a girl to cry cry cry. i nid a girl to paint my life. hahas! this line suddenly popped in into me. hmmm.
oh well. its been sometime since i last tok abt matter of hearts to ppl. i wonder where those ppl who i once shared this experience with is now. all found new friends ler. thats something to cheer abt. hahas. recently, i found there's really no one hu can read my mind and heart cept for 1 person hu is kinda gone ler. those times we shared awww.. helping each other out. solving each other problems. bud somehow after streaming years we parted becos of new friends. i tot i made more friends hu can understand me well bud somehow i found none till now. yet i treasure one of my friend alot. though it may not seem lyk it. bud if he notice i told him most of things in my mind. i wonder y. being friends with him is kinda soothing. i enjoyed crapping arnd with him. somehow smth made me trust him i guess.. for now he's the closest to noe-ing wad i'm thinking. hahas.
ok i may sound gayish. bud true. some ppl may trust their secrets to the same sex more than the opposite when their single. i guess this applies to me though. somehow i trust u and i hope our friendship can remain. really. =)) yups. hehe. felt much better. bud to the end. i still haven found anyone hu really noes me well hu can read me or can i truely call a real brother. everyone's involved in their lives. maybe i shldnt be selfish. i shld find one brother myself hu can tolerate my everything. we can party together, crazy together. i'm looking forward for that friend of mine to appear. same as the girl of my life. =)) yups. nites all..
darkside illusions 2:41 AM
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005
moving on
ok i shall blog today since i'm kinda boring. ya. life is going on fine for me. missed jared's bday party. sorry. at k box. dun have so much $$ so skipped it. heard it caused a bomb. hahas. yahs. so stayed at ps. wanted to eat supper with them... bud in da end they nv go eat cos they pwned off their clothes? lols! nbm. yeah.
went for melody's bday chalet juz now. came home went toilet and shitted. oh gosh. hahas! ya anyway.. made some new friends over there. lyk 3 or 4. hahas! ok lahs. not too bad though. hmm. ate some food. caught up with josh and nic. lols! nv bored when with them. always laughing. hahas! sang bday song. ok here's the funnie part. the mahjong table they rented pi chiak (broken). me and desmond erh fix the table. supposedly. fine cool? ok. when they were cutting the cake. ok. the table collasped. lols! lucky the cake was alright. ate a little of it though. hahas! neways. had some funnie and nice time there toking to a new guy. year 3. here's the messed up part. i still dunno his name. =.= lols! ok wadeva. guess i got to be guai boi boi ler. had been going out late these few days. >< yeah. gotta come back early some day. =))
ok. let me see wad can i tok today. erh.... ok.. treasuring bahs.
y do ppl always treasure things after they lose it? sometimes ppl will regret in the decisions they make. yet somehow is always the innocent party hu always get hurts. when u are with them, u wont want to treasure much. is becos ppl take for granted u'll be there. bud when ppl part, they will think of the past. some will regret. y? i seriously dun understand. treasuring someone isnt a simple thing to do. seriously. time and effort counts. i had some experience before. sometimes u juz want the thing back to you. you'll regret y neglecting and y making those mistakes. yet somehow u tink ya in the rite. i've learn frm the past. and i wont repeat the similar mistakes.
love is also the same. when ppl confess, you tend to drag it. y? cos u take it for granted that he/she will be there waiting. bud somehow maybe ppl cant wait no more. y again? cos ppl aint treasuring. i always hope for someone hu will treasure me truely. for wad i am. be true not act. i will tink of the when there's the private moment. yet somehow always i tink its kinda far from it. well time for bed i guess. moving on ler. i'm tired of everything. i'm really tired.
love takes 2 hands to clap. bud 1 hand to slap. =))
love me or leave me. choose.
darkside illusions 2:54 AM
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Saturday, October 01, 2005
blog blog blog!
hush whispers. thats wad i always get when i get into the mrt. wonder y. argh. forget it. wahahas! neways, i tot of smth to say. budden due to the recent cases of blog catching. i wonder shld i write. its kinda irritating u see. do we need to go to speakers corner to say anything we want? argh. sometimes people juz dunno how to spend their time wisely. spending it on catching ppl. argh. nbm. i'll risk it this time. =x
ok. not that i wan to say. its kinda hard to find ppl in little india i guess. i was once shopping in mustafa. uh-huh. with my family. oh yeah. i was small. that time i mean. and i got lost. guess wad. i tried looking arnd yet i cant find my family. guess why? everyone kinda look the same to me. and i mean everyone. not only that. to me, they somehow smell the same. ah... ok. its kinda unbearable too u see. bud nbm. wahahas! ok. y i say that? if you all notice.. these people all wear, look and smell the same! oh gosh! mustache, curly black hair, shirt, jeans and slippers, double eye lids. oh gosh. how are you going to find your friends! its ok. nbm. nowadays when i'm in the mrt and i reach the shop, this smell will juz wake me up for no reason. ok fine. i'll pass that. when u get used to it. bud they will be carrying large bags of veggies? argh. and once again.. yeah. everyone looks the same. grrr. forget it. =P
yeah yeah. life shorts, challenges are nv ending. maybe this is one of the challenges in life. yeah. overcome it. >< ah.. now is 3.30 in da morning. children's day! ok! happy bday jared! 17 yrs walking the earth shld be quite mature le huh! yeah yeah! go on! happy birthday! weee wee! fine. crap. argh. i've nth to do now. boo hoo. guilty gear is insane now that the level i play. hahas. drumming. looks lyk i stagnent ler. lols! i cant wait for my first jamming session with my band. woohoo! u guys muz support me! xD neways, knnth is a mad guy. he plays 4 funky sonic world non-stop. he is sick. though he din pass.. he's still sick. argh! hahas! =P
life short, get a life.
if love was meant to be fight for, den wad are the loves for?
loving in silence doesnt mean not doing anything. it instead means loving more
nv regret wad u said. only reflect.
nite peeps
darkside illusions 3:32 AM
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