Wednesday, May 31, 2006
friends? ><
first thing shld come first! happy 50th bday to me yandao and best dad! you've been my dad for 17yrs and i love you so! a big muacks to ya daddy! you rocks my life! ^^ live long and be healthy! hope ya leg injury recovers soon! <3
yep its been kinda a hectic 2 days or so for me. rushing thru my stmd project and stuff. gosh. i hope my tests will end soon. >< i want some 2 weeks break! =x hahas.
yep. and mr.joshua. thanks sia. ask me do the things first when u haven do. >< make me sleep the whole days cos i stayed up to do. argh. exdr. =x hahas. gosh. y am i lyk so easy listen to ppl de ah? i'm too soft? o.O hahas. and term tests is round the corner >< hope i can make it. everything seems so fast and i've not studied yet! i'm gonna study! i dun care! hahas. IND sure is tough. with so much fun but hard courses. hahas.
gosh. yeah. sometimes i tink i've been wasting my time finding my gem here and there. tend to be played though sometimes i got the feeling i playing ppl. but usually is being played or smth. and every time i need to tell myself, uh-uh. lex, ya not cut out for that. hahas. how i wish sometimes i can juz relax off and let it come. but somehow this juz aint me. >< i want it to come soon! >< *bui!*
yeah. slowly as time goes, people tend to forget and leave me out of their minds. as life moves on i guess. see how my sec school juniors and frenz say keep in contact and stuff yet now none even remembered my existence? yeah. my fren bday passed this month. we used to be close and stuff and i msg tt fren happy bday lyk i did for 6 yrs. now, the fren nv even in turn say a thank you or smth. oh well. good thing me eh?
my other fren Z bday juz passed too. wished Z bday. and yeah. Z replied but lyk kinda shoo and ok ok. i noe u noe type of tone and stuff. how bad feeling i was to know. it was nv there to begin me. all me part on thinking that frenz i know now stays. so much for my happy ending. and so i realised nth really good comes out if u treat ur frenz really well. many ppl nowadays treat others for granted. thinking it is a must or a responsibility to do for them or remember it. i guess i'm the latter side of doing those stupid things for them. cant blame. thats me. ppl often treat me for granted maybe cos i juz dun have the heart to say no? eh? oh well. guess thats all for friendship. or any relationship.
i'm tired, i've given up. damm. its really saddening to see after 17+ years, not even 1 fren is 100% true. hais. lex is alone afterall. and nope. i dun need any pity. i will still live my life with a smile and face it strongly. for i believe in my determination. to me, lex rocks big time. =)
darkside illusions 2:34 AM
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Sunday, May 28, 2006
ya pissing me off
hmm. juz some little update. dun really have anything much to blog either. projects and ccn. not really enjoying myself these days. went to watch da vinci code with my panda. yeah. was quite nice. =D and the movie is damm nice!
oh well. thats abt all. below are juz some vents. hmm..
i hate ppl hu thinks their superior and stuff. trust me dude, whenever u say u can i f*cking dun believe. come on. so wad u tink ya better in tt field? wake up. how many times have i proved you wrong. i cant freaking stand ur, i-know-it-all and i'm-the-best attitude. do it lahs if u tink that i'm too lousy for it. all u do is juz say how lousy ppl is, making fun of them. anymore f*cking nonsense and trust me. i will juz leave my hands of the whole thing. write feedbacks saying i'm doing nth. u'll see wad feedbacks i have too. u're pissing me off time and time. i'm nice to bully eh? tink twice. its cos i treat u as a good fren of mine dat i nv argue with u. its cos i treat u with at least some respect that i freaking take ur comments and sallow it. but hey, my limits is near and u wont want to taste my poison. whether ya reading my blog or not i dun care. get this into your bloody thick skull. i'm not born to serve you neither i'm born to be bian3 by you. neither are u born perfect and superior juz cos u tink u have ur god or wad to protect u and stuff. u can say how good your religon is but trust me, it makes u no higher status den anyone arnd. ya still human and u'll bloody take these words into mind. i dun mind giving up a good fren in this situation. dun bloody piss me off.
next. to someone (not the one above) :if ya serious juz be. dun always make me want to serious den u are not. its hurting u noe. one moment u can be nice another moment u can bo chup. wads wrong? i told u so many times yet so many times u did not go to the point. i'm tired already. trying hard to make u understand. are you playing? damm.
nites guys. guess its juz the pms in me. i'm having a bad day... *plays bad day* ciao~
darkside illusions 2:46 AM
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
starting on project!
hmm. shall update a little. lols! today went to school at 11 to attend 3 lecture till 3. lols! den com skills till 6. had lunch at 12 though. saw liting that xiao gong zhu there. lols. she's getting cuter each time i see her. hahas! yeah. had lunch with nich there. talked lotsa crapped. nich got crazy when liting was there. wonder y too. -_-" talked things that have no link at all. lols!
yeah. met nich again after school to go home together and stuff. did things at mac at nite. i finally started my projects. lyk after so long. hahas! inmm. weee~ i got lotsa great ideas for tt project. cos its the most fun sub this sem! budden great ideas = more codes = more difficult. damm. wonder if my final product can make it not. xD
oh well. i got over lotsa things and lex's intelligence went up 1 again! *plays up score music* yeah! and now, i just want to concentrate on doing my projects and stuffs. wad will come will come. though its my wish to do work with the girl i love and stuff. it'll nv come true in time. so i rather spend the time to study harder for DBSY and other work. ^^ hope i can make it in time! *pats myself on the back*
stance: eh girl. dun keep everything to yourself k! u are there for me so i will be there for u too! lex dun forget kindness de! i tell u mine u must tell me urs too ma! hahas! smiles k! and dun tink too much, my stupid tortoise. lols! ^^
oh yeah. found this interesting web to make ur own south park char! i've played with it and made some nice pic! xD go try!
good Time-wasting web!
enjoy everyone! smiles! nites! 9am lesson tml. >< argh!
darkside illusions 2:33 AM
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Sunday, May 21, 2006
stupid lex again?
disappointing, disappointment, disappointed.
y does this have to happen? gosh i feel dumb at times yet somehow i juz cannot control the emotions within me. its natural for a scorpio to feel that way. i tried to change for quite some time. but it juz wont budge. damm and this cause me lotsa trouble already! f*ck it dude! i nid to change! argh!
or is it juz because leo wont understand how a scorpio mind feels when its too shallow? i guess time is needed. i'm not ready for anything yet. lex, grow up! ya juz a small piny boy lahs!
and yeah. lyk wad drew said, i'm not in a really good mood right now. often got misunderstanding on me or smth. i wanted to say it in a nice way cause i dowan to hurt anyone. but y does it have to happen that ppl thinks i'm plotting or not believing in them? tell ya wad. scorpios believe in wad they see. not wad they hear. unless is real solid proof. if ya disappointed, i'm sorry. i meant no harm. but in return, i'm kinda disappointed in u not believing in me either.
argh! i make no sense. dun provoke me this few days. lex aint in the right mood till he finds his liang teh. so, a big
F*CK YOU
to anyone who wants to try disturb me now. thanks ah.
i've said my peace. nights. argh. turn off the lights pls. i need a breather. !!! ><
and when i tot it begun, i ended the light as soon as it lit up.
darkside illusions 11:42 PM
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Friday, May 19, 2006
lUlUlU
a little update b4 i sleep. ><
1) i hate ppl hu takes pride in other ppl's credit!
2) i hate ppl hu shows how good they are but obviously trys to act humble
3) i hate ppl hu tries to hide the fact that they lied and stuff
4) i hate ppl hu thinks too highly of themselves
5) i hate ppl hu thinks wad they think is true IS TRUE
6) i hate ppl hu say one thing do another
7) i hate ppl hu tries to act nice but is planning stuff behind me
8) i hate ppl hu act clever by saying things that doesnt even make any sense
9) i hate ppl hu bloody thinks they are right all the time and loved by all
10) i hate ppl hu doesnt use their brains befora spatting out their words.
there u have it. lex's 10 hates of ppl. xD nth much to blog either. left or right? i got to answer it somehow. ><
its nth personal. its juz the things i hate. =P
darkside illusions 12:57 AM
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006
formal
formal presentation in formal today. i tink i did well for my part and stuff though there's some pause here and there. lols. hmm. feel weird in formal though but hu cares. lols!
lex is dumb. lex is stupid. i dunno wad am i thinking myself. argh! damm... i hate myself. hais.... wad am i doing. >< forget it. lex sucks! ><
with blazor
without blazor
i look informal in formal rite? yeah. lex can pull this stunt off well. =x
learning to be independent
darkside illusions 1:54 AM
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Sunday, May 14, 2006
Happy Mother's Day!
went to ps to shop for my mama prezzie today. got her a pair of earrings and chocolate! haha. though its not much but its the thought that counts. =D yeah. nth much oso. came back home and mama saw the prezzie. its past 12am so yeah. gave it to her. hahas. ^^ anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama~! love you to bits and pieces even though we may quarrel. ya still a good mum to me for 18 years~ <3
finally talked to mrs constance cheong hui qi in real person le. same as in msn though. lols~ yeah. nth much too. and so i'm going off. =D night guys.
high hopes bring greater disappointment. i'm never gonna believe again
darkside illusions 3:34 AM
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Saturday, May 13, 2006
****
hmm. went to shop for my formal wear today with my mama. been so long since i went shopping with her. feel so bad. but she bought my stuff for me. thanks mama~! 300+ lehs. >< thats y i decided to wake up at 7 later to make breakfast for her~! hahas! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama! ^^
nth much today either. went arcade. kinda lonely and stuff. cos no ppl i really hang out with always is there. yeah. so played alone. den go walk walk. hahas. life as a single really sucks sometimes. seeing couples everywhere nowadays really make me wanna be attached sometimes. but love does not come so good and easily for me de. so... oh well..
yeah. peaceful life. at least i can find someone to tok to at night now. =D
beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. to me, ya a beauty. =)
darkside illusions 3:41 AM
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Thursday, May 11, 2006
perm hair!
and yet another girl friend of mine wan to perm her hair. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! wassup with this trend now. neither do me and my friends tink its nice, it spoils the hair too~! and u got to bear for 3 months before u can reborn it back or smth~!
ahhh. which kuku start this trend!! IT SUCKS! =x lols! nth much. headaches. >< argh! shld i join intsc or SU? make up my mind!!!! ><
till den.. hardo gay............. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
ppl do not change. trend changes ppl
darkside illusions 3:00 AM
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
=D
[edit] a good kickstart is the first step to a successful future. ^^ [/edit]
projects start to be clearer each day which means i need to start on my projects le. >< cannot slack anymore lex~! ganbatte desu~!
missed yet another centis dinner. lols. dunno y too. yeah. life is ok. my tp band is going to jam rewrite and i cant wait for it~! xD REWRITE~ HARUKA KANATA~ weeeeeee. hope we're all to blame comes soon. xD
yeah. nth much. fri vesak day = make up lessons agian. zzzzzzzzzz~!
yeah. i wanna make more friends and stuff in TP! tp is my home. where memories will take me thru my life. so i wan make it a good 3 years~! TP OEI!
lols~
believe in oneself = believe in yourself
seems hard? lols. go figure. =P
darkside illusions 1:05 AM
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Monday, May 08, 2006
update
and i realised its been some time since i alst updated. oh so well. nth happened much cept of the polling stuff. hmmm. PAP did it again in my grc. its kinda standard oso de lahs. PAP had been the thing that takes control of the parliment for years already. to me, if i am voting, y make life difficult for urself if ya not having any difficulty in the area u stay? lols..
oh well. nth happened much. missed the centis gathering on fri and stuff. i tink the things that kept me quite awake was the return of bleach fillers and the ever fillers naruto. lols. yeah. watched the manga of naruto already. its so exciting can~! i cant wait for naruto to go back on the anime track mans~! xD
yeah.. time passes so fast. week 2 already? lols~! soon week 13 we'll have our holidays and stuff. oh well. met lotsa new friends i got to say. but still, i'm still lack of wad i'm looking for. its so hard to fight these emotions. sometimes i wished i could be juz lyk her, nth in my mind, dun even wan to think of love and stuff. having the mindset of single rocks mahs!
hahas. but somehow, to me, love is something so powerful. so mystical that i wan to be bathing under it every single day. it juz works wonder. but somehow the girls i lyk... either have too high expectations or they simply wouldnt even take a look at me. oh well. lex, accept the fact that ya not suited for love even though you so much wan to give urs away. ><
must i really slash it to let go of all my emotions?
i TINK i TINK and i TINK. wake me up frm this stupid dream i'm having.
darkside illusions 2:02 AM
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006
french tutorial 2
alright. today. i messed up my time table again! damm! was supposed to reach school at 9 for a lab. but i see wrong to thurs which is 10 for lec. and i miss a lab!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! how stupid can i get these days. oh well. reached school at 11. den erh.. realised no tutorial. -_-" so its a 5 hrs break. argh waste my time..
went for 2nd french tutorial! omg! i laughed my ass out! met a fren frm japanese class again! xD mr................ ok wads his name again? damm. =x
anyway, we were trying to learn how to speak french. but as u noe. french aint easy. there is singular, plural, formal, informal, masculin, feminin. and u cant see the words and pronounce it lyk it is.
eg. OUI you will pronounce as OEI or smth. WRONG! its pronounced as WEE. -_-"" gosh.. and we had some fun with it..
order of french word, meaning, the pronounciation i gave. =x
fatigue - tired - fatty gay
malade - sick - ma la der
gros - fat,big - go ho
ah. alot more la. getting lazy. lols! its darn farnie! laughed my ass out trying to twist my tongue to pronounce. >< LOLS! aiya skip! went for today's french lecture cos i dowan wait for 4 hrs on thurs. lols! slept for the last 20 minutes or so. =x LOLS!
------------------------------------------------------
life seems to go on already
i tink i've somehow gotten over most things
maybe its just cos i've accepted i'm not a good bf or smth
oh well, its been years already
since i got nice love
hmmm. wonder when's the next time
a girl can make me go so mad
hahas! till den, lex enjoying everyday with his frenz. ^^
and i tink somehow
to most ppl, they dun give a damm abt lex anymore
bah~~ i feel outcasted suddenly
somewhat lyk a hi-bye fren
thanks ah joshua
every one step you take, is every one step you improve
every one decision you make, is every one responsibility you take.
darkside illusions 1:32 AM
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006
cute girl!
yeah. yet another day passed. nth much frm me. juz that i'm getting more relax each day. hahas! today in arcade. hmm. me and knnth went sot over a girl. LOLS! omg! she's lyk a model can. nice figure and everything. + a super cute face! lols. but she's attached. den when i was playing ggxx, knnth was beside me. her bf and her played tennis beside me. she was sitting beside me lahs. den she have a smell coming from her. hen xiang! =x LOLS!
die le lahs! budden she kinda tall. tink same height bahs. =x dun tink of me as hao se can. its juz so happen dat there's sucha cute girl beside me. xD
yeah. back on topic. chatted with liting online. lols! knew more abt her liaos. lols! she ah. bwg one lahs. hahas! den kiwi came to ask abt the emoticon thing and stuff. that sums up my labour day. =x LOLS! kinda sians but muz get used bahs. being single aint fun for me. hahas! hope love comes knocking someday!
why is it that tearing up is easier than drawing? why is pushing easier than pulling. and why is being loved easier than loving?
darkside illusions 1:48 AM
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Monday, May 01, 2006
truuuuuuuuu
and just wad can i do? hmm. once again i moved a futher step on. nth much to blog anyway. kinda sick of everything le. i hate being alone thats all.
yeah. got my frustrations out on the drum set and yeah. truuuuuuuuuu! up it goes to 1072.90. lols! oh well. guess drumming can take my mind away for good.
and now i really dun believe in anything le. wadeva really. its all broken up once again. i got the msg and thats all i guess. oh well. and i tot i can believe once again. thanks to those lines. yeah. but oh well. lex must be strong. becos lex is strong. nv wants to try anymore. nth good comes out of it! dammit!
its better to know the truth from the start rather to realise it in the end
"n i oso noe i wun accept anione yet thou i kip sayin i wan find.sho i will tell guys like dat" - lesson to learn from liting. lols! oh well, great job guys, u all stand no chance anymore! wahahas! wan help her oso cannot le. lols! thanks ah ting. xD
dun believe - 不相信 - shinjite janai
darkside illusions 2:20 AM
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