Saturday, April 29, 2006
lala~
once done will be done. friends is more than i can ask for. i've ruined everything and i'm trying to pick the pieces up 1 by 1. but i doubt we'll be as close as when we first met. oh well. i guess the awkardness still remains and stuff.
was kinda happy to receive ur reply in sms. at least i know i'm still a fren worth to reply. yeah... take care girl. =))
nth nice nowadays. really nth much to cheer abt. maybe there is. LITING! lols. that silly girl. lols. xiao gong zhu. wth. i'm lyk promoting her uh! but she makes me smiles sometimes too. thats good. and josefine! lols! one crazy girl. and those freshies of mine. =) thanks everyone. love you guys to bits. not forgetting. yuting! tada! hahas!
ok ya. liting ah... in two months time i wan see wad happen lehs. open up ur mind and heart hors jiu can de! ganbatte lahs! hahas!
till den~! oh ya. ya still a bitch. =x if u guys noe hu i'm referring too. which i doubt none knows. xD
darkside illusions 1:44 AM
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Friday, April 28, 2006
small update
short update from school lab:
and they say. the most fortunate and happiest person on earth is a person hu found happiness with the one their closest with.
glad u found yours. =) yeah. ya doing real fine now i guess. laughters and stuffs everyday. yeah. seeing the one you treasure most happiest is something to be happy abt eh? thats wad i've been telling myself oso. if not i'll still be stuck. but i guess more time is still needed to overcome everything to start anew. somewhere i still. argh. no lex. dun ever think of it! u must overcome!
oh well.. things to overcome:
injections and needles
rejections
jealousy
deep missing
unable to give up
doing stupid things
rash things
yeah. thats abt all.
sometimes i tink i could turn back time, maybe i'll choose not to even appear
oh ya and did i say she's juz lyk a bitch? damm u! i where de jiu u ah. talk to me in that manner. feel lyk slapping ya somewhat sia. i talk to u less than lyk 7 lines or so and seriously, i've never even talked to u in real person or even talked ABOUT you. stop behaving lyk i owe u smth or wad. if u have a problem say to me. no nid act till lyk that one. its cos ya a girl and ya a fren of my fren i dowan argue with you. but if u want, i can shoot till u cry bitch. dun blame me for wad. but ya getting up my nerves each and everytime. wanna noe wad? his name is ****** (pronounced lyk that) and not ****** (pronounced lyk tt). its my way of calling and i need no bitch to correct me in a bitchy way. suck ur thumb girl for u've made into lex's bitch blacklist. grats! ya no1 since the start of my schooling life. i want make no enemy, but ya the first cos of soome stupid stuck up way that i seem to owe u something when i dun even really talk abt u and stuff at all. unless u have a prove i did smth wrong b4 or said smth wrong, grats, ya bitch no1.
dun bite a scorpio on its back when he's in no good mood. he'll give u hell. oh wait. he'll give you hell even when he's in no good mood. juz dun bite me. suck ur thumb, bitch
darkside illusions 2:52 PM
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smiles
slowly and slowly i learn to take steps forward and moving on. =) thanks to yuting. gosh. she helped me alot and i swore to treat her lunchie some of these days. xD
and liting is so lame can! hahas. wants to find someone to help her forget abt her ex within two months. lols! lame la. and so we chat and chat. and i feel so much lighter! so.. thanks liting! =))
anyway, really gotten so much lighter after i went dbg to play drums again. =x the feeling came back. those i want to S the song de feeling. is nice sia. lols! did some improvement and stuff. got sotto to push up 5% sP and stuff. hahas. yeah. lighten my mood a little though its still kinda unstable yet.
tml's friday le. a week ending soon. so many things happened and i'm already behind time. i nid to catch up soon. i nid to move on fast! aint wasting anymore time. but can i? i hope. kel's bday today! will be buahing him on sat. if we (yeah WE) got the strength to buah him. =x he's way to strong on the legs and hands. =x
oh well. i wan to find back that happy lex self again. and liting ah liting. tsk tsk. u ah.. bwg to u oso. lols!
enjoy peeps! sooner or later, lex will be back! dun make me fall again! oh yeah. cut my hair short at the back in a moment of sadness. so no more long hair lex anymore. oh well. that maybe shows a sign i can sacrifice de bahs. =x hahas. kinda miss my hiar. but... oh well. wads done is done. good luck bahs everyone.
everything past so fast
its juz lyk yesterday
that i juz said
i love you
from deep within my heart
and it seems juz lyk today
you said no
and left me behind
memories will stay
but life will go on
may happiness follow you
girl..
=))
and they say the happiest person is the person who found the love they really want. hope you do soon. =) be happy always. not you alone. but everyone pls. lex doesn't want to see sadness again. juz that loneliness filling up in me again.. someone wake me up.
and pls, dun repoach urself anymore. no more dui bu qi from u anymore. it'll juz make me more guilty. so pls smile and stuff. get back to normal and feel love the way u want too. juz remember that when you fall, there's still a me to carry you and lift you up. my road, your road already. i guess? take care. =) <3
darkside illusions 12:30 AM
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
unforgettable experience
400 post up next so yeah. juz post. its been hrs since the incident happens. i still haven found back much mood in theh first plce to talk abt. rather trying to wake up and stuff instead. reality is harsh but i gotta face up to it someday. i dun really feel lyk giving up. but wad can i do? feeling sucidal but its stupid. feeling real soul but still gotta give way. oh well. guess time will tell. really cant really bear to give everything up and stuff. its too strong. hope time can take me thru. maybe its juz in the shadow and stuff. its up to me to decide and you to guess wad i'm thinking. it aint hard understanding a scorpio. ><
i walk a lonely road, the only one that i have ever known
calling all out but no one replies
take care ma frens.. TT.TT
darkside illusions 10:06 AM
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unforgettable experience
and y cant we at least be friends or smth? no one will noe how hurting things can turn out to be. ppl arnd may not feel but to a scorpio, they can feel everything. juz abt everything. cos they can read ppl's mind and feel things very easily. its smth that cannot be taken away frm them.
went for centis dinner together today. was really kinda out and mood and stuff towards the end. was happily chatting and joking. when u came, i felt so happy and stuff. but otherwise. not even a hi or a glance to mean anything. when we left, everyone was shot a bye juz except me and stuff. there i was saying bye and waving yet u nv turn to me. i was thinking. aint even friends say bye or smth? am i not even a fren anymore?
went really out of mood and stuff. dunno wad more can i do already.. shy i guess. i am too u noe. actually its lyk how much i train myself not to. i used to be damm super shy with u arnd. its normal in my opinion. but i told myself. i must not be. if i really wanna win ur heart, i must not! how can love be shy? so slowly i tried to loosen myself. and stuff. but in the end, i tink i juz killed off everything i had. its kinda disappointing and stuff. i played the fire too much. had too much expectations and stuffs.
lex, wake up ur bloody idea. not that u got the whole picture figured out. its time to make a good decision and stuff. u can do it. 1 yr is enuff for u to change everything. f*ck things that i tot i can do. there are indeed things that cannot be achieve with determination and stuff. its juz proven.
snap out of it. u got ppl asking u. y are u giving up a forest for a tree dude! wake up! yeah i will. give me time to chill. i hope at least the next time, u can at least say a bye to me or so... thats at least all i ask. but i wonder. when's the next time..
to cy: thanks for everything seriously. u spat all out which i really wanted to noe. ya someone great. really. if ever you two got together, treat my chao ah nie good yeah? thats all i ask for. for she's the 2nd real person to capture my heart this deep. i give my best. surely. and as i said a scorpio's instinct are always right, believe it or not. u have feelings for her. u are luckier den me in such a way. she's a great girl. and i hope the least you can do is try ur best too. i aint seeing you as a rival. ya a good fren one can ever ask for. because ya truthful in your words. =)
i guess its high-time to say names already.. so...
to jeanie: yep. its been great knowing you these 5 months or so. i guess fate juz doesnt want me to get close and stuff. playing the station games back in otc, having fun in camps and ALP and stuff. all these are things that will stay with me. ya juz that unique girl i see. keep that up and i believe someday, somehow, we'll get together and play those stupid things again. really. thanks for those memories. dun be frustrated anymore. love may come and love may go. but treasure wad u have. and i believe i still owe u somethings. i will return it de. so look out for it. =) [ edit ] take real care and stuff. esp ur sickness. its been worrying me for a month or so le so pls take care k? i cant be there but at least i do care. =D [ /edit ]
to yuting, kiwi, mayb: thanks for everything. i love you guys to bit and pieces. =D my true friends in poly. =D
its always easier to fall in love than to letting go.
true happiness is when u see the girl u love falling in love with someone she truely loves - lesson learned
darkside illusions 1:02 AM
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Monday, April 24, 2006
sadness to the core
and how can i turn a blind eye? its been real hard to keep myself real happy and stuff. and this have to happen. can i take it any longer? i think i cant. i feel lyk juz shouting everything out. its too much to take already. i feel so secondary school lyk to die or smth. but i wont. even if i have to fight to the last moment till u really say it so.
why. i keep asking myself why. wad did i do wrong? hais. everything that came out is all abt someone and stuff. noe how much it hurts to even hear such a thing? i rather to hear the truth and stuff than spinning myself in circles.
and lyk damm! how to keep myself so up when she gave u the hint that is him or smth? lex, are you that stupid huh! tsk tsk! bud yeah! i'm that stupid. i juz cant run away frm it. its lyk everything i can give up oso can sia. argh! damm. seriously i really dunno wad other steps to take. juz yest yuting gave me a target. i juz promised mong ling another one too. budden. it was all shattered lyk a few hrs ago? my heart is sour now. bud how? ren zhu bahs lex. is u lyk de. juz pray and pray bahs. its all juz deploy or smth. i really hope this is not true. i dowan my hopes to shatter. i'm really serious. pls tell me this is fake. hais..
wake up lex..
darkside illusions 8:48 PM
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outing/sending off/happiest day!
yeah. today went sentosa for FOC/FOW outing. was kinda feeling sick already. oh well. i need to sleep soon anyway. got my ass there! pon drum lessons. woops. its lyk wasting 15 bucks? boo! went sentosa raining. double boo! took bus and reached pawalan beach and stopped raining! waste my money! triple boo! ><
went there put down my bag. ok. was thrown into the water straight. so fast. >< lols! had fun la. played some beach volley, beach soccer, beach frisbe and stuff. but how i wish she was there. oh well she needed to work. =((
ya. funniest thing there is playing handiplast (a sick game) in the water. pain ah! hahas. nth much though. got a burn on my nose ONLY. dots! LOLS! sat on the sandy beach for quite some time though. people watching and thinking of stuff. been ages since i last sat on the beach in deep thoughts. went to bugis later. nv eat seoul garden with the peeps. instead went to each ba chor mee with knnth. xD den went airport to send yiling off. bought her a cup and a bookmark. wonder will it be gone to waste anot. >< she's still my first FA afterall and i lyk her! as in as a FA. though she nv talk much to me de. but she's way cool in her way! come back soon yiling! i'll be receiving u! took photos and stuff. oh well. dinda dare ask to take a nicer photo with her. arnd 11.30 all wan take bus home. went all left. only me and her. oh well.
was wondering which bus to take. 53 or 36. so let fate decide which bus go off first. in da end 53. she oso taking de. was happy lyk duh~ lols! first time sia. though its a short trip but to me, it was the happiest thing i could ever ask for b4 i wont be seeing her for quite sometime. sat with her on the bus talking abt stuffs. real sweet of her to accompany me see the bus route before. =D thanks! its the best bus ride home for months since *ahem*. oh well. dinda want the bus ride to end but she reached and alight. oh well. said bye. but before she alight, she turned and said bye again. awww. tink its juz her. but to me, a little bye can bring a smile on my face for weeks!. ><
really, i want to thank anyone hu answer my prayers. i really enjoyed everything with her. juz everything. =D it'll be 1 yr she'll be gone frm tp. dunno how things will look lyk after 1 yr. but i wont give up der! even if she doesnt want to go out i will still try my best de! 1 yr lehs. will definitely miss her lyk mad la. i'll make it a point to go to her service once i have the time. surely. ^^
dinda managed to get a final pic with her but its ok. at least, i had the happiest last moments i could wish for with her. i'll still be waiting. i said i'll be the 2nd and i will be. when lex serious, nth gonna break me down. i want you to noe. noe everything i feel. 1 yr wait is long, but i'll still go on for i believe in miracle. =D
waiting and <3 u more everyday. did i miss out missing you? >< i'll still be here for you.
trees may fall, lights may fade
but the love i give
will never fall or nv fade
cut nails.SLEEP! ciaos!
ps: i want take a nice photo with you to keep in my memories!!!!!!
darkside illusions 2:52 AM
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Sunday, April 23, 2006
i'll cherish you
how do i feel? suddenly its as though light has been lighten up or smth. but the prob is juz i dun feel lyk facing up to reality. its always me hu is trying to run away and be strong and stuff. believing in my own powers or wad. but wad have i achieved so far. in the end, nth good comes out.
even that words that spread across is kinda obvious. even he asked me wad am i going to do. i was lyk. damm. wad did i did to deserve sucha situation. but i acted strong and stuff. still believing that there's still a mild hope to cling on too. but am i deceiving myself instead? or is the feeling i have too hard to even allow me the possibility to let you go? those pasts we had. those little details we went thru and talked still rings in my head. but do you feel the same?
everyday i'm trying my best to try understand you more. i noe its kinda irritating. but i cant help it. a day without seeing you talk or reply makes me uneasy already. i noe ya not ready for bgr and stuff. but i can wait till ya settled down enuff. but question. pls tell me its all worthwhile. not as if if not worthwhile i wont wait any longer. i will in fact. but its juz i want to know that at least i can make the dun lyk to lyk. so how?
tml will definitely be the last time i'm gonna see u le. the next meeting will be kinda long later. two different places. but i really hope if i jio u out someday, at least once can make it. i will really miss you. but i noe even if its playing arnd, your heart may put him first instead of me. yeah. scorpios shld be jealous. me? indeed i am. very. but this somehow puts a challenge to me that even if my looks cant be better. even if my time with you aint as much as he can be with you. one day. juz one day, i believe my sincerity can slowly inch you closer to feeling the feeling i'm giving.
till den. nites. sentosa tml. tired. dunno wan go not. and i tink i caught a flu. sneezing thru the nite already. oh well. told her but the reply was lol. dunno wad to say. >< ahh. *puts knife into heart* hahas. wan an all..
slowly i make that line to. are you ok ma? wan me pei u see doctor? =x
i wont be toy soliders, i wont fall. instead i'll fight for wad i tink my heart is calling out for. <3 u more again
darkside illusions 4:11 AM
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Saturday, April 22, 2006
and the lights goes dimmer each and everytime. when we see each other face to face. i wonder wads that odd feeling i'm getting. so much want to talk to ya but there's this dun-talk-here-can feeling frm ya. oh mans. am i thinking too much again? so much wanting to stand just beside you chatting the day away, laughing together and stuff. today will be somewhat the last crazy day i can be close to ya and i blew it. once again. thanks lex ah. he doesnt have the initiative again to talk. damm.
oh well. shant say much anymore. i juz hope at least we can still talk when we meet face to face or smth. thats smth least i can pray for le. y am i so stupid tt time. den now spread. make myself die or smth liddat. gosh. i feel so dumb now. even the 'last day' oso cannot laugh with her or smth. hais...
oh well. thanks kiwi for consoling me and pushing me more. really. kiwi, ya a great fren to noe mans! <3 u so! =D encouragement for me even though i noe in my heart myself that comparing to others, i am the weakest link and stuff. girls would rather choose others den me that type. but of well, kiwi did a great job to cheer me up and stuff. best friend of mine. =D
anyway girls, this is for kiwi. u you wanna find a guy as a good mate, kiwi's the one to look out for! really. he has nice eyes (in my opionion), cute and innocent boyish face. he can make your day real nice even if ya sad. really. he juz got that tongue that can make u awww and want to hug him and stuff. yes! even as a guy! he's very good. so girls. if ever he gets his eyes on ya, dun let him run! really! kiwi has interest in someone for now as he said. hmm. if ya the one, hope u get wad he's trying to show to u and stuff! dun hesitate, keep him at ur side at least. =)) he's someone way to good to let go. nice guy, nice fren, and everything. to me, kiwi, my best buddy, ROCKS! you go hunk!
everything's gonna come to an end. you and me, i hope will somehow still stay together. 2 person as 1.
ps: oh ya. MWC and IND rocks in my opinion! i love my LT. hope school starts, the freshmen will still say hi to me. =D
I LOVE IND! I LOVE MWC! I LOVE IT! I LOVE CENTIS! I LOVE FOC! I LOVE FRESHIE! I LOVE GL! I LOVE MAIN COMM! I LOVE TP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS to all those who made my 2 weeks b4 school starts wonderful. ppl in centis and MWC esp. u guys rocks my socks! thanks for everything. i'll miss you guys. =D
darkside illusions 3:29 AM
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Thursday, April 20, 2006
oreitation. hmm. was kinda happy that IND is so on though i'm in charge of MWC de. >< today went arnd crashing alot LTs. IND rocks the most. xD so many ppl. hahas! IND rocks! oh well. while i was doing those i am supposed to do. i suddenly tot of her. hmm. i wonder y too. wondering how is she doing as an sl and stuff. hmm.
i still cant seem to get a peace of my mind. even with the tough workload today which drained the hell out of me. i'm lyk hello? closing my eyes to type this blog entry rite now. >< so damm tired lahs!
ya. was kinda disappointed cos my ol i taking all buay on. push to me and ron to do. hais... sad case. oh well. at least i gave my best. thanks to all LT heads and main comm ppl hu gave me encouragement by clapping for me and said a job well done. for the first time in months, i felt appreciated. its been sucha hell of a long time since i was appreciated for wad i do. ><
oh well. after the debrief. msged her if she wants go dinner together anot. but she already went to cs to eat with her friends le. so its ok. was kinda looking forward to stuffs that can make me happy. my music stuffs aint going that well already. i guess i'm so 'luo po' until such small stuffs lyk dinner together can make me happy le. ><
yeah. went tm with my friends instead but she say she sians so take bus home le. was super tired so slept in the bus and i overshot. lucky is a loop ride. >< phew. yeah. kinda tot of her again and stuff. =x msged her a little but hahas. no reply der. nbm lahs. sleep till my stop. went home. online. mass chat. talked to her she say can dun tok to me mahs. cos alot window. so. oh well. no choice. tot can come home quickly online den can talk de. mei xiang dao. oh well. lan lan bahs. went to bathe and tada, here i am now. -_-
yuting. paradigm shift. says:
hmm but if u've decidded to wait u also shld expect mroe of these kind of thingss
she gave me this line. and i agree. i'm willing to make sacrifices so. all these hope are worthwhile bahs. damm tired. so i'll end here. hope day 2 of oreitation will be much more fun..
a smile on your face brings so much joy to me.
i wanna make my world your smile
and hope to make your world, my smile
<3 and on
darkside illusions 11:32 PM
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<3
and i often wonder. wad else can i do? hmmm
went ps again to play the new song. hand got blister very pain. hais. thats another bad thing for the month come to tink of it. wads wrong with april! fool-ed too many ppl le? ><
kinda got out of mood so went arnd to walk on my own. ppl watch. plain walking with no sense of where i shld go. so many things rush thru my head at that moment.
wad if this and that. what if that and this. will this ever happen? will that happen? gosh. tt moment of time all i needed was to chill. come to think of it. i tink i'm the weakless link. >< oh well. see how things can downgrade a person so much? i said i wanna change. bud wad is holding me back? the sense of sincerity lyk u said once? every line u said i remembered. and i'm trying hard to do it. even the lightest glimmer of hope i'm still banging on. i really am serious. it pains to see me how much u've gone thru. but all i can is to take step by step to know u more. to prove and show that i really mean wad i said. and yes yuting. i tink thats the answer. moment of rash? i dunno. all i noe i've been fallen deeply into ur eyes. those eyes of urs can melt me. everything of you seems lyk a wonderful picture to me. so even the slightest glimmer of shining ray that could make you, a person hu u said will not be easily move, move, i'm willing to try. i'm willing to wait. my live has been given to u. someday i'll pluck out that courage in me. yes. i can do it.
<3ing u more each day
missing u more each day
god made gaps in our fingers so that another hand can fill it in.
even the slightest bit of courage to confess can spark the flame to a long lasting love
mesmerized by you
darkside illusions 1:33 AM
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
i jus somehow feel lyk blogging again. its nth much. juz to get somethings off my heart i guess. i dunno how to tink. damm. i nid directions and stuff but hell. i want someone to tok to. argh. crap ass!
ok. juz feel lyk typing. >< tian ah.
every msg that comes to my phone. every ringtone. the first thing that drag thru was u. gosh. am i so lang bei until this state? i seem to be desperate sia. i shld do smth and carry on with life. i dowan be a whine baby anymore! yeah! i shld! >< tts wad i reflected on thru the nite. lex, u can do it. dun feel inferior! everyone does have a chance! its juz how u do and carry it. learn from setbacks and march towards the future. even the biggest mountain can be moved.
watch out ppl. for lex is coming! believe it or not. when i put my heart into something, success is for sure!
ppl hu noes. hmm. i aint gonna be shy or stuff no more! i wanna be a big man hu dares to say things out and not whine in a corner no more! say me or wad bahs! lex is a change guy, watch out! ><
darkside illusions 11:59 AM
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sad yet memories
and today morning went back to tp for packing day. in the end it sounds more lyk cheering day for me. =.= yeah. den went for centis outing soon after. reached at 4. went to a jap restaurant to find them. oh well. yeah. played pool. my skills deproved lyk shit already. its really crap mans! ><
hahas. now almost everyone in my empire noes abt my blog. so i gotta be careful of wad i type le. in case anything anyhow go out again. =x cannot put personal feelings here sia. trouble. but i lazy make sub-blog sia. oh well. suan le nbm. >< she came abt 6 i tink. oh well. yeah. remained quite ok lahs. hahas. anyway, i keep tell myself to enjoy the day. muz. cos this maybe the last we can come out together le. for quite sometime that is. hmm. sabo-ed by freshies to take picture. hmm. they all ah... bwg. bud ye hao la. at least memories do remains. but i dun have the picture oso. =x LOLS. so nbm. =x
went to ljs eat. oh well. the distance was kinda far or smth. its either i'm too shy to do anything or if i dun have confidence in myself. >< heard from binbin, seems lyk i'm up with quite alot of ppl. hmm. its hard lahs. for a scorpio. have kinda a inferior complexity in me or smth. other seems to juz click and there she goes. enjoying. oh well. i'm a noob in this kinda things to get it get going. maybe juz blame scorpios hu only believes in love at first sight bahs.
forget it. lex, ya really kinda argh. no words for you. >< got somehow lighten up after a movie. somethings cropped up and stuffs so remained quiet for quite sometime. oh well. the distance is still kinda far. how i miss those times instead. =(( lex! do smth can! ya lyk practically wasting airspace! do smth if u want to achieve something! yet somehow y do i get the feeling that if someone dun open even the slightest space of her door for you, you can do nth. does that implies to us?
my dear yuting gave me good advices. so did maybelin. they ask me to juz say la. instead of juz typing here and stuff. but how can a scorpio do things lyk that? juz so not me. will only do when i have confidence. crap! i need to change. i'm willing. but how? god knows. i guess this outing is worthwhile afterall.. hope everything goes fine. i've been coping up for ages. maybe its time? bud will it succeed?
sms-es are getting shorter and lesser. time talking too. how i wish i got the x-factor lyk most guys. machiam magnet. lols! i feel i'm whining too much. i'm taking some break to think thru. i hope somehow if i can do it, the answer is positive. please! someone bless me. listen to my prayers for i hope someday my dreams will come true..
somehow this song came into me. expresses my feelings now so much. thats y the lyrics are here together with the change of blog song. it really says my heart out sia. perfect! till den...
deng dai qi ji de chu xian. i may not be the most popular guys arnd, i may not have the cute, the shuainess, the fun and stuff. but i believe in believing. and i hope you too. ARGH! LEX STOP WHINING AND GO AND SLEEP AND REFLECT! STUPID RETARD MUTTON BABY WHINNER! shoo!
i<3u xxxx =))
ps: use encoding if you guys cant read. =D
(女) 有多少人在旁边 我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住多看几眼 感觉强烈
(女) 已经微笑的放电 已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间 幸福就飘过面前
(男) 我平凡无奇而你 像灿烂星星 让我担心
(合) 明明很爱你 明明想靠近
(男) 但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌 敢大声说要做(你的唯一)
(合) 明明很爱你 明明想靠近 (明明很爱我 明明想靠近)
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你抱紧
(为什么还要再浪费时间不把我抱紧)
够真心 才是最厉害的武器(够真心 就是最厉害的武器)
我会拼命让你更满意(你要拼命让我更满意)
(女) 讲配不配太俗气 说爱不爱要问心
爱由我们自己决定不必理 跌破谁的眼镜
darkside illusions 3:44 AM
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
=((
everything seems to be falling into pieces. the puzzle i once tot could be completed. how come i have such a bad feeling? izzit me or is it juz the feeling i really feel. they say scorpios can sense ppl's thoughts quite well. so wad is this thought i'm feeling?
deep inside i'm lying to myself everyday that patience will pay. but in realistic. will it? something i shld reflect upon. all these i done. i know it aint much. but at least it do comes frm within my heart. its been so hard catching up with you. everytime i so wanted to blurt everything out. but somehow i have the feeling the person u want aint me. i dowan to strain our relationship too. wad if one day you'll totally ignore me?
but how can i hide my feelings? i really want to let you know. but will ya? it somehows remain a mystery how deep i fell into loving juz a single person lyk u. it somehows also does amaze me. if only i could hold u in my arms. i would never let that grip go for this is wad love really is to me.
i want to know. i want to fall hopelessly and deeply in ur love. but are you thinking abt the same? hu noes? a smile on my face is a must everyday. thats wad i told myself. even the sky were to crash, i'll still smile. for at least a little bit of that could bring a smile to you. i'm ready to give my all. show me the way. i want to know.
please someone up there, help me..
darkside illusions 2:44 AM
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Sunday, April 16, 2006
FOC 06/07~!
and finally lyk 3 more days of camp is over. gosh. how i miss those 6 days i spent in school can. had fun, tears and sweat. those close times with the freshie i had. its so enjoyable. ^^ so sad everything have to end someday. centis will not have sucha great bond anymore again. oh well. those stations and stuffs. those games and cheers. i really feel so home to centis with alvin, yiling and yuting storming the front for centis. thanks for everything FAs and HGL! =D really love everyone to bits! the FAs, HGLs, fellow GL mates, centis, mantis, spydra, beenox and antor, main com, subcom and everyone involved. you guys rocks!
to centis: you've made me feel belong. somewhere i can rest my heart into for at least another yr. these memories we share, the sweat we gave into everything together. i will really miss you guys..
oh well. camp was great. jam and hop, dancing queen, manhunt and stuffs. made so many new freshies. they were all so great. centis esp. the freshies were nice and on. girls were nice looking so were the guys. yeah.. shant touch much oso. felt i needed some rest on the 3rd day so rested a little. lols! sorry cenbu but i cant join u guys for the carnival games. =)) final clash was nice too. told the freashie to kill their own flag if they were dying. and they really did! nice one freashie! lols!
the sad 1
gonna miss everyone in centis. this morning is the last time we can spend together already as a whole empire cheering and stuff.. these will be part of my centis memories and i hope if we see each other in school, at least we can say hi and stuff. =))
the sad 2
gls.. the ones i spend the most times with.. since FOC till now.. we came a long way from there. still remembering i went for GLs interview. how i got so happy when i knew i was in. the OTC which i came to know of centis. the ALP, flag day and stuff. we did so many things together. den came FOC/FOW. those voice and sweat we gave together to see our freshies get together. its something so sweet and stuff. hope we'll get together sometime again. cos i'm really gonna miss you guys. the chao ah gang and stuff too. hais. y does it got to end? T.T
the sad 3
to someone: these 5 months since OTC was great. since knowing you from day 2 of OTC where me and u paired up when playing the tie foot game at glen's station, i felt that sensation. till now i cant forget that day. you've been my crush since den on. during these 5 months, my heart swavered from here to there. bud none could make me settle down. i tried forgetting by not talking to ya. get myself open more to girls and stuff. but this FOW/FOC seems to much. even the girl i tot could make me jelly gave wad every girl would have gave me. none ever liked me i would say. oh well.. but to you. FOW/FOC is really 6 days i wished would never end. seeing you everyday. jumping here and there. those cute stuffs u do. everything you did. oh gosh. its just simply melts me. when u lost your voice, i was kinda pained though. but its ok. to u, i may juz be something. but to me, you're everything. thats wad i feel even more during these 6 days. and it has ended. i wont be seeing you in school for the 2nd yr anymore. for you'll be gone to sentosa or smth. bud i hope if ever there's a gathering, hope i can see u. =)) hais. really sad. those times we slept juz next to each other. not really next la. but close. those stupids words and gaze. all ended. but it will not be gone. i will look back and remember those times we had. holding you in my arms when we played that station game in OTC. sat together and ate. serving food and stuff. you may never know or believe in me but at least the thing i an say is i've fallen for you. argh!
damm! y am i being all so sad again? izzit becos u said none have ever win you if u dun lyk the person? only 1 did? i feel so inferior. hais. anyway, i hope to see u again. and i really hope the OTC, FOW/FOC days will come sooner. juz a few hours and i'm missing you. =((
WO AI SHANG NI LE! ><
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx =P
[edit] sia la... got ppl noe my blog liaos. must becareful how i type le. =x [/edit]
darkside illusions 6:58 PM
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Thursday, April 13, 2006
FOW!
sorry guys for the lack of update! i'm still having camp! bud today special can go home for the night! so i'm here to update awhile! TP freshies camp aka FOW/FOC! it is a blast! FOW juz ended on a high note and i'll sure miss all the new yr 1 i meet in this camp! tml is FOC! LOLS! cant wait! lols! more tp students to noe and stuff! i muz blast for the 3 days! lols!
gosh! i cant wait la! damm! someone! lols! anyway, these 3 days, i really kinda confirmed my feelings or wadsoeva and stuff. i dunno y bud the way i feel is coming back. lyk jealousy and stuff. being close and stuff. hahas. but soon it will all be gone. hais. after these 3 days we'll somehow part and i dun really want it to happen. =(( oh well. juz plain looking at you trying to sleep at nite, sleeping at nite and falling asleep can keep me awake for lyk 2 hrs? glance and glimpse. tt kept me away. ppl may juz see u as a girl sleeping. but to me. its lyk an angel. hahas!
eh lex wake up la u chao ah beng. ur way of style tt u lyk is not working for ppl arnd u! >< how can the one u see for 4 months or so le will catch ur eye? wake up la! *slaps lex awake* argh. its ok, its alright, lex will fight, fight, fight! xD
ok la. my sub empire for fow is cenbu, and they totally rocks! gagon! is tt how u spell his name? lols. simply, cenbu rocks la! centis rocks la! gl rocks la! freshie rocks la! FOW ROCKS LA! LOLS! high high! xD
still nid pack bag and erh sleep early. tough day tml. bud i'll be more extrovert tml. xD
time will pass, history will be made. the times we had and spent will be in our memories. but will our future stands a chance? or gradually we'll juz be strangers walking our path? i wan your hug, i wan ur kisses, i wan your love, i simply juz want.. you..
still missing you. dowan FOC 3rd day to end..
mission: take a 1-1 photo with you alone. =))
darkside illusions 12:14 AM
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006
friends?
sometimes you really wonder how much has life changed since your sec school days. one day you're whining how much u want to leave school, the next day u whine on how much u want to be back in. ><
yeah. the frens i made in my sec school days were memorial. they were old-school. yeah. OLD-SCHOOL! we did things together. had fun together. crapped and stuff. some even swore to keep in contact and stuff. some become good brothers and sisters. some left great scars and memories with you. like having a closer relationship with each other.
but as time goes all had their lifes and slowly the quieter one or busier ones are left out. yeah. it do happens. those fellowship and unique relationships, i still remember. those crazy moments. anger and smiles. soccer together anyone? go pool? aiya! pon tang la! those were the old-school lines.
but now, as i look back i regretted spending so much time in TP stuffs instead that i feel i lost some real important things in my life. contacts-
somehow or rather, i still miss my frenz back in sec school. often sending i-still-remember-you msg but sometimes non came back in return. so as time went by, strangers relationships built up. some wont even noe u anymore if you see them. they'll juz ignore u straight or juz do-i-know-you?
thats how bad things can turn out to be. often i go to my frenz blog and check out how they are doing. often its smiles and anger. which shows they're still doing fine. popping by with hi and stuff but sadly, you're thrown aside as if its an annoymous post. so ya. thats how time and distance can pull ppl apart.
but at least i noe, my frenz are doing fine and are happy. at least i'm contented with that. for this, my heart is at peace. =) to all my long lost friends: take care alright? i may not be there always for time to go, but remember at least my heart still remember you guys. =))
argh- y am i being sucha emo guy nowadays. -.- i gotta loosen up abit! nid really some BREAK! >< not holidays bud some real BREAKS! ><
1 more day. =)) tian ah. i cant get you off my head. but do you noe? u insist on being friends though u nv say it out. oh well, i'm still here. waiting. =))
its hard losing someone close to you, but its even harder forgetting someone hu made an impact to your life and left or is not with you. tears
darkside illusions 2:54 AM
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Monday, April 03, 2006
<3, miss, friends
nth to blog really. life is repeating. went alp only. got a slight sunburn on my nose? aint painful though. =x
yeah. juz that all. i miss you so. really that much. if only you knew. bud somehow wad u gave me is those friends friends stuff in return. i wan more. i wan you to be mine. i wan to embrace you. i wan to spend all my happy times with you. so that you'll be happy too. i wan... you. =))
xt wads getting in me! gr!!!
darkside illusions 1:59 PM
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