Wednesday, June 29, 2005
i feel so pain here ("v") why?
sometimes i wonder. is love really that powerful? powerful till.. it makes ppl turns a blind eye to everything arnd them? i suppose it dun apply to me. i remember the people who took me thru my darkest times. hu went thru with me. who shared my pain. who let me see the lights. yet every now and den i see ppl in love turning a blind eye to everything arnd them. does love really work this way? y izzit that when a person is in love, he/she tends to forget hu is the one hu brought them thru the darkest time? y izzit that they show nth? dun even bother to tell them their in a relationship? y izzit that people muz go a big round and den find out by themselves? give me a reason to be strong. tell me wad is wrong.. am i really so bad that i nid to go dig that info myself? well i tink love works this way.. i'm sad. real sad. my heart aches. deep inside. i wanna take out the pain. i grabbed my heart. yet all i got was nothing. i cant reach the ache. y? y am i feeling so bad now? dun u realise that all along there's a mask in front of me? i'm trying to be strong. do u noe everytime i say its ok. there's a chance de. u try harder jiu can ler my heart is stabbed once? u noe how painful it is to play joker? no one noes. no one ever...
yet i'm fortunate. thanks everyone hu tried to cheer me up. none can cos none understands. the one hu almost did it was the one i knew barely for a month. sandii jie. thanks. u almost make me smile with that cheer. camel hao peng you, nic, peipei, mel, auntie wen, blur pig, josh, boon wei, azri. thanks you guys for being there. boon wei and azri. really thanks for accompanying me to the place. i noe its kinda off ur tracks budden thanks for noeing i nid ppl to accompany me and u guys did. thanks. thanks blur pig and mel for asking me to take care. thanks camel hao peng you and auntie to ask me how am i. thanks nic and josh for giving me advice. thanks pei pei for asking too. thanks gl for sending me tt song i looking for. and most importantly thanks sandii jie to tok to me and really trying to withstand my blues. love u guys loads. budden i've yet to find someone i can really throw everything to. y? hais. i feel so lost. so hurt.
dinner with da gurls tml at 7. bet there's lots to catch up. i hope that can somehow cheer me up. guys, if ya feeling pissed at me today, i'm sorry. i juz aint facing up to reality. where's the stong junting i used to be? the one hu nv submit to anything. where are you? i want u back! i want to show the world wad i am. budden as the great saying say. no man can resist love. hais. i guess so. i feeling power overflowing in me. i feel the power juz flowing out. one little push frm my hand and the big lecture door juz whammed the wall. juz a small squeeze of my hand, the can is ruinned. the most powerful thing i did today was 13 pull ups in a go. i felt the power in me. i wannt release it all. i feel the muscles stretch. i feel the ice cream go bursting in my hand. i feel the power in me, lettin go.. yet the power is useless in the face of love.. thats all. tataz..
its painful seeing you leaving my world
juz lyk that
without knowingly i realised the bonds i had with u
is more den anything i felt b4
the love i had on you
is more den anything i felt b4
yet now reality slaps me again
love is nth compared to the blood guys bleed
love is nth compared to the tears shed
love is wonder
while you enjoy the fruits of love
the one hu seeks the turth of your heart
whimpers in pain
while you smile and kiss the cheek of your love
the one who sees thru the darkest time
hides in the shadows
thinking you find your happiness
the one doesn't want you to feel sad
sad abt wad is happening to the one in the corner
he doesn't want to ruin your happiness
he juz want you to be happy
happy with the present status you are
if doesn't want you to know how he feels
he rather keep everything in his heart
and be sad and bad abt it himself
den see a happy gurl
turn into a frown
thats wad love is
thats how powerful love is..
darkside illusions 12:37 AM
