- treasured memories

Saturday, June 18, 2005

mug dog

okay. i feel more and more lyk a saddist. was kinda feeling down AGAIN this morning. i wonder y too. and this morning is lyk 3 - 5am? hahas. cos i stayed the morning up doing my IISO. and finally i finished. hope can pass sia. i was lyk bluffing all the way thru and adding things that i dun even noe izzit right. hahas. juz piack anything in. yeah.

argh. which idiot tell me poly life is so slack? grrr. in school = slack. after school = mug dog. i really cant breathe. i guess i really need someone to be here for me. to share my workload. i really cant breathe anymore. being a Z student is really tough. and coping up with dragon boat. hais. everyday i'll see couples in school and i'll be thinking when will it be my turn ne? sitting by the sports complex together. u and me. thats all. chilling out at the ice cream store. eating lunch together. working together in da library. holding handsin school like no one business and envy by all. den after school chilling out together. having times together. telling problems to each party.. mugging lyk mad together yet having fun. hahas. thats the type of relationship i really want. bud is that possible? every one seems to have their love life ler. everyone got hu they wants. yet me. sitting here. unwanted by all in love. accepted by few in friendship. i really aint the real me. where is the lex i used to be? i wanna my self back. yet i nid a motivation. i know hu's my motivation. yet its so near yet so far.. hais. forget it.... love sometimes juz aint enuff..

thru the dark alley i walked
with no light guiding me
i walked till the end
only to find that i'm back at where i am
i'm juz spinning around in circles

all i want was your love
yet in return i got to see you go
i aint want you to be sad
i let you go
i want to see that smile on your face
i believed what i did was for my own good
i encouraged you on with that guy
all in return is to see you smile
yet deep here i'm cute
depressed and dejected

i helped you on
wishing that he can bring you more happiness den me
i dun wanna ruin your life
neither mine
all i can do
is see your backview going further away
if only... if only
if only i'm loved...

darkside illusions 1:32 PM

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