Thursday, January 12, 2006
baboo me..
ok. i'll do some quick blog. not much ppl here anyway. hmmm. nth much this few days. juz work and more work. lols! i kinda lyk this type of hectic lifestyles. juz 1 thing i dun lyk is early school. lols. ok. juz dyed my hair. at first i tot was kinda screwed up. bud now i kinda lyk it. i tink it suits me. juz hope i guides wont kill me for this. =x lols!
anyway, ya. there's nth much frm me too. actually got some things to say bud i forget wad to say. =.= gosh! oh well. guess i'll keep it in my mind for now. hee. no one really reads anyway. hmm. i'll pass it. argh. i hate it! ><
i hate some feelings in me though. i wonder y. i feel so far out frm the people arnd me. lyk different worlds or smth. the way i do things is totally different. we've drifted apart i can feel. no longer on the same topic or smth. i feel so far apart in my heart sometimes that i feel that i want to let it all out. bud somehow i cant find someone to really talk to. mostly is juz the hi-bye type or juz busy with their stuffs. i sometimes really envy girls. they have such close friends to confide in yet i think sadly to say. i have none. mostly is bo chup me one. suddenly i have the feeling to juz leave school and juz go find a job. i dun belong anymore in their world. thats somewhat i think. i feel so distance. everyone is getting together bud i'm lyk the anti-social one now. i tried to go into their world bud i tink my method is wrong. i was laugh at for not being lyk an IT student cos of my work and things. i really feel so far out. so far from their standard. thats how lousy i am now. oh well. forget it. i guess i'll quieten down these few days or so..
i wanna someone to tok to really. both we can share everything out and will sacrifice each other times to hear each other out. guess i still gotta wait somemore. yeah. nbm. hurt yes i am, bud wad can i do? i nid to change... i nid to. seeing everyone fitting in so well yet the dark light shines upon me. i say ppl are too negative abt life and that i dun really lyk them bud when it really happens on u, you'll feel it. hais...
suan le bahs. i juz let it go by nature. i believe someday we can make it or smth. leave me out for now..
suddenly there's this tot of me coming in. i really miss those sec school days. my class and i. playing street soccer together... having class competitions lyk see-hu-can-squeeze-the-most-oil-out in other terms called the oilympics. so crappy. we had question of the day lyk john is 1.65cm, mary is 1.58cm. how tall is peter? this type of questions. asking the tcher to solve, giving rewards. i really miss those times! i wan it back! i really do miss my sec school bros. yes! peng fei, i do miss those crappy times! ming song! raymond! bud no matter how hard i shout, it remains the same. i'm standing soliditary in my world. unable to mix with the current crowd.
the 2d gang. we used to be so close after the o's. yet now i've drifted apart frm u guys. i noe its my fault that i cant make it for most of ya gathering. bud i really miss those times. auntie's bday. ahgirl's bbq. her. yeah. bud somehow everything have drifted away from me. i really miss you guys so so much. her was exceptionally much. there's too much in me that i want it back. bud really, distance really kills time. now all left in me is the photos we took as a gang and everything. somehow i feel, thats the best i can do already... paths i took made a great twist. i rejected the chance. i pushed it away. and now everything seems to piece right back. blur pig told me to go for it. yet i dunno y i cant. its juz i tink me again. useless bum. i think its juz cos i feel the distance is too far to piece the puzzle back. that's y till now i still dun dare to go for it. well i guess. in da end, the problem stills lies in me. bah~~
crap! i'm getting all emotional again. i said was a short blog bud my emotions took me away with all these long talk. wth is wrong with me these few days! i guess its the stress and workload i'm having now bahs. or i think is juz me that is the prob. forget it. i suck and that's final. i shall stay happy in my soliditary world. =)) u go lex!
darkside illusions 2:17 AM
