Thursday, July 27, 2006
dammit. i really want to say everything out. damm!
but i scared you'll juz ignore me just lyk the other time. tell me wad to do.
i know to you we're impossible. but why. why am i clinging on to the hope of being with you. everytime i asked you out. i really hope to hear a yes. but somehow each time. its seems lyk a rejection. i dunno when. not even a chance girl? when you said you had a bf le. how devasted the feeling that was. just lyk my past. but i believed one day still, i hold the same chance. ruby meii once said move with sincerity. and i'm really trying my best to do it.
to you i dunno how much it is. but i will want to wait. wait for the day u finally wanna meet and want more. =) i promise the first date will be extraordinary. surely. but all i plan never seems to be coming true. nth but illusions. tell me joy, how much chance do you tink i have? is it still the same answer you gave me that time? i'm wasting my time? i really hope not. i'm trying my best to get closer to you. know you more. so at least if one day u agree to meet me, i wont be that shy.
damm. i'm thinking of you now again. kinda jealous ya going out with guys and maybe tonning with them? but i'm juz a fren in ur eyes. dunno wad to do, cant say anything to stop it.
lex wa baka! useless. hais. =( joy! over this 2 months or so. i really realised, i like you too much for me to let go. its lyk i known you for years. i really hope to work this out and i really hope you'll give me a chance by opening your world to me. please?
I'M REALLY SERIOUS OF WANTING TO BE WITH YOU!
trust me on this can? hais.. if your 9 months ex u told me abt can do it, i believe one day i'll be able to move your stone heart towards me. =) i believe. and once again, thanks joy for giving me the happiest day of my past 2 years as single. =) really really was so happy.
joy. i really just wanna be with you. just you. will ya?
hope so. T.T
darkside illusions 2:47 AM
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
The How Bangla Are You Quiz - by lex
ok cool. so here goes. xD excited? =x
[ ] I love shopping for grocery
[ ] I love sitting on big fields and chat instead of the nice kopitiam
[ ] I must sit on a seat if there is one available in a public transport
[ ] I love perfumes(anything that makes me smell nice) that the majority of people dislike
[ ] I would rather walk 1km to buy a 50cents ice-cream than a $1 ice-cream which i can buy just below my block just to save that 50cents
[ ] I can go un-bathe for days and wont say its abnormal
[ ] [ Girls ] I dream to become a housewife. Cook curry rocks!
[ ] [ Guys ] I dream to become a construction worker or open a MAMA shop. Swee la!
[ ] I can twist my tongue very fast and speak fast
[ ] I have curly hair by nature
[ ] I would prefer a bicycle than a car for my birthday
there you go. how many u ticked? x10 and its ur % of how indian are u! tada! quiz are fun. xD
back to work. =D
darkside illusions 1:09 AM
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Sunday, July 16, 2006
ok. this blog is revived as a secret blog or smth. it will be used to vent my anger if i want or say stupid love stuff. >< i'll change the skin once i feel lyk it. need some inspiration for the design part. i hate using div tags. >< they alignment will be all wrong. ><
anyway. its open le. and i knew it from her blog. oh well she's attached. had really a big impact and me and stuff. its stupid i noe. i feel stupid myself. how deeply can i love someone i dinda noe that well? but its really how i feel and i wonder y. i suddenly had not much mood either. before i knew it i was already feeling uneasy and stuff. if only i knew her earlier in person or smth. hais. forget it. though we arent meant to be but i really wish u the best frm my heart. its going to be tough on me once again but i will stand strong bahs. i hope so..
please dun come out and meet me now. please. go back where you belong. i've not seen you for 2 years because of this reason. please go back it. dun come out. i'm controlling you. its ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..
i want someone to talk to. hais.. fuck, i hate everything. im feeling so fan over something i shoulda be feeling so. fuck. i shoulda be saying all these. tmd. >< get over it lex! take care joy. =) i'll remember all the memories u gave me. the phone call which we were on. saying and doing stupid stuff. those msn chats. those nice msges. thanks girl. you made my past 1 month a happy guy to look forward to. but i guess its shattered now. but i dun blame u either. be happy k? i still have some hesitation not to give up. if ever one day there's a chance, i want you to know, i'll still be here wanting to hear all u want to say and stuff. thanks my fren. love ya.
lex is back to work.
darkside illusions 1:19 AM
(1) comments
Monday, July 10, 2006
the *@(#)@*@(#$@ post
ok enough is enough. i'll not say the names in this post cos it'll be useless. well if you guys want me to state, i will. but for now its a no-no.
first off. this girl A and this guy S, another guy D and a not much in this case guy R. here i fire off!
to girl A. come on. who are you kidding? you'll never be able to fool a scorpio's eye. yeah you may be one. but hell. ya open? thats the excuse you gave me. fine. hugs. and hold hands and friendly to every guy in ur dictionary is open. cool. ya more ang moh if thats the case. but please. this is Singapore. if you hold every guys hand, hug guys (as in really hug) and declare ya not interested in relationship, let me tell you girl. that is flirt to 99.9% to most ppl. hu are you trying to kid? i heard everything. guy S initiated the hugs and kiss and u dun dare reject? interesting. i once heard u push guy R away cos he tried to lean on you and stuff. oh so leaning is worse den a guy hugging and kissing you when and where you like huh? ok lets say u scared he beat u up, u dun dare reject. fucking shit. must you put ur hands around him too and play along? simply that makes no sense with wad ya talking. unless you say ya bgf i nth to say. but pls. frenz do that? find me another one. *@()($#@@(*$&(@#)@
yeah. you have the looks (to most horny guys), you have the figure(to most horny guys), but hello. wake up. that doesnt give you the right to be 'open'. even ang mohs dun open until kiss and hug or hold every guys hand. ok hand is ok. but kiss? zzz. come on. i saw your sms to guy D. and compared with the actions which i saw. its so fucking different please. dun bother lying. oh ya. who are you to judge me. thats wad u say right? yeah. i'm neither your close fren or smth. but at least i'm human. i judge you as a status as a stranger? fuck me me u say it doesnt concern me. yeah. indeed it doesnt. i'm juz posting so you are another stranger who read this. and please stop playing with ppl's heart. you tink its fun? open as excuse again? mai lai.
you once said. i am more close to guys ma. thats why ya more open to guys. you want to know i feel? you are close to guys because you let them. wonder why you said you have little girl frenz? cos i'f i'm a girl, i'll be disgrace seeing my fren 'open' with every single guy. guys go to you. you gladly accept. so dun fucking say its open. yeah. hate me more. i dun give a damm to anyone hu tries to hurt my frenz arnd me either.
to guy S. 1 word. BASTARD. you left your ex because you said you fell for another girl. cool. thats normal nowadays. but hello. that is still a bastard act. how long you noe girl A? you gladly hold her hands, hug, kiss her and sweet talk her. yeah yeah. you have the looks (to some. zzz), you have the moves in ddr. so? to me ya juz another S.O.B. how despo can you get. yeah. i myself lyk girls. any normal guys will lyk too. but it isnt all abt pushing your love aside becos u found another one more 'open' and more hot and stuff. horse racing ah? fucker. and you tink for guy D to give up a 3 yr frenship is that easy? he's fucking disappointed you know. and wad abt you? willing to give up because of your lust? where is ur integrity? u knew your best fren den lyks girl A. and you motherfuckingly said you'll support him. now u bastard him and did those in front of guy D? basket. and when he confronted you, you ran away lyk your balls kweu zui (shrink) ah? dare to do dun dare to be face-to-face?
come on. i tot ya full of confidence? the first time we met you showed me how well u can do on ddr. and danced without bar on extreme. pass max unlimited. hl say you not tired can do some more? _|_ big deal? good lor you can pass while guy D is tired. but hey, your character? fucking BIG NO i tell you. i fucking hate ppl lyk you huh abadon your gf in a few days saying suddenly you lyk another girl. and immediately hugged and kiss other girls in public somemore. _|_ shit. ya a disgrace to guys. seriously. first you bastard your ex. den your good fren. hu knows. one day a more hot girl came along and there you go abadoning girls all arnd. one of a kind. to me, thats flirt. and you have 1/3 style. but another 1/3 for show. wan find me? i'll be happy to find you. dun fuck arnd here after you did those bastard things. guess wad is the other 1/3 for you? small fucking pin-head balls.
to guy D. come on. wake up le! ya my fren. a good fren. i dowan see you fucking unhappy because of this anymore. they aren't worth it. girl A, guy S. they are juz some fakers hu say they hate fakers. they aint worth your time trying to resolve this thing. and give up on girl A. pls. even if you two made it, you tink you'll be happy with the 'openess' she claimed? she'll juz bastard you IMO. yeah. be angry. but pls. dun use suicide or hitting urself as a solution. nth will change. the most they grieve. let them be. since they lyk bastard-ing each other. let them be. i want to see the old ray back. not someone hu is troubled by love which is pointless and worthless. k? get ur feet up, if you need, bastard them back with words. i wan the old ray i once knew back. smile k! and forsake the friendship of guy S. he aint worth it either. he's juz some small balls backstabber. to hell he will go.
phew. got everything out. settle with me if ya unhappy. i need to stress out with such things. _|_ aint in the right mood now.
darkside illusions 9:46 PM
(1) comments
Friday, June 30, 2006
ok. since this blog is not in used. the tag-board will be closed. =D enjoy. those who have my msn should noe my new blog for now! cheers~!
those who really want peep me on my mail or smth. ^^
darkside illusions 1:10 PM
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